The Colts will defeat the Bears 23-7.

Peyton Manning/ Tony Dungy/ Adam Vinatieri   vs.    Rex Grossman/ Lovie Smith/ Robbie Gould

The Colts have a distinct advantage in all three categories and will win the game decisively.  Peyton Manning will officially become the greatest QB of all time when he pulls a Steve Young and gets the big game monkey off of his back. 

Congrats to Peyton and Coach Dungy ahead of time.  No two people deserve it more.

Long live Prince and great commercials.  Am I the only person who will TiVO halftime and not the game itself?

Here are just some casual observations of the present NBA season so far:

• The New York Knicks (19-26) are only one game worse than the defending champion Miami Heat (19-24) while being closer (3 games) to first place than the champs (6 1/2)
• The present #1 seed in the Eastern Conference, Washington Wizards, would be the #7 seed in the Western Conference
• Steve Nash has won two consecutive MVPs and is playing his best basketball this season.  Will voters be afraid to vote Nash into the pantheon of 3 time MVPs along side Chamberlain, Jordan, Jabbar, Bird, Magic, Moses Malone, and Bill Russell?
• Gilbert Arenas recently said he'd give up an NBA season to go back to school and score 85 against Duke in response to Coach K cutting him from team USA.  Wouldn't it be easier for Duke to join the NBA's Eastern Conference?  That way we could see Agent 0 go for 85 a few times in the Conference Finals against Cameron's Crazies.
• Jerry West, an all-time legend as a player, GM, and most notably the logo, cannot go out like this! 
• If David Stern ever has an inferiority complex when trying to compete with the NFL this time of year, he should consider the fact that it could be worse.  He could have to play his All-Star Game on a Wednesday night up against American Idol.
• Isiah Thomas isn't THAT bad of a coach.
• As sad as it is to say, Shaq may be done.  He looks. . . well . . .we don't know how he looks.  He never plays anymore!
• Just how bad is it for Miami?  They beat the Knicks on Monday without Shaq and Wade, then proceeded to lose to the Knicks on Friday WITH Shaq and Wade.
• If the Grizzlies (11-34) could use just their winning percentage against Eastern Conference teams, they would be playing .315 ball which would still put them in last place in both the Central and Southeastern divisions in the East.
• Phoenix has had 2 winning streaks that each total more wins than Memphis, Boston, and Philadelphia have all season.
• When is someone going to finally realize that fans have no business voting for the All-Star starters.  Steve Nash coming off the bench would be like having Elvis Pressley as an opening act for Kenny Loggins. 
• Kevin Garnett has fallen from "best player in the league" to "NBA star" faster than any player I can ever remember.
• Luol Deng is one of the most underrated players in the league.
• This A.I. /  'Melo thing may work.

As Sunday's turn from touchdowns and turnovers to drafting and driving, there is only one thing I know for sure. . .This is not your father's NASCAR.  Of course, we've gotten used to that by now.  We've changed from Winston to Nextel.  We've gone from the race for the championship to the race for the Chase.  We've gone from southern drivers who like to drive fast to sophisticated advertising agents who are well groomed, well spoken, and well. . .less rough and tough.  Not just anyone who can turn a wheel can be a NASCAR driver anymore.  Not only that, but now the best driver may not be able to win the championship anymore.

The Winston Cup was always about consistency.  Most Cup champs have a few things in common.  The first is that they won races.  They didn't always have the most wins, but they won their share.  Second, and most importantly, they were consistently good.  Very good.  The year end resume would have three or four wins, but 20-25 top tens.  The key to winning was always not only winning, but having the opportunity to win.  This new point system puts so much of an emphasis on winning, that it may turn its back on the Alan Kulwicki's of the racing world. 

It's ridiculous to add points for wins to driver's totals AFTER the points have been reset for the Chase.  I started watching NASCAR in 1992.  My favorite driver, Davey Allison, had won the Daytona 500 so I was hooked!  I watched Bill Elliott proceed to win the next four consecutive races.  I watched as Davey and "Awesome" Bill won five races each that season.  I also watched a consistent and determined Alan Kulwicki break my heart and win the championship with his measly two wins.  However, I understood that my guy finished third in the standings because he wasn't consistent enough to be a champion.  Why do we want to change that?  Is it because NASCAR is desirous of its new glamour boy, Kasey Kahne, to win the title?  Is it because we don't want the no-names like Kulwicki to win titles ever again?  Some teams don't have what it takes to win five races per season.  However, they do have what it takes to consistently put their car in the top 10.  That deserves something.  If it leads to them scoring more Nextel Cup points over the course of a season than any other team, then it deserves a championship.

Winning a race is a lot about luck.  If you don't believe me, ask Derrick Cope!  Consistently putting your car in the top 10 is a lot about skill.  Sure, luck is still a factor, but great cars, great drivers, and great teams consistently run up front.  There is a reason why Matt Kenseth is a champion and Ryan Newman is not.  Consistency is that reason.  Please NASCAR, don't fall so in love with the win that you stop rewarding consistency!

We've been listening to it since Peyton's senior year at Tennessee.  "He can't win the big one."  "He chokes."  "He's not a clutch player."  All of these phrases have been screamed by everyone from opposing fans to talking heads in reference to Peyton Manning's glaring absence from the global "center stage" that is the Super Bowl.  Peyton has been everything from an upstart underdog to an overwhelming favorite, and in all cases, failed to deliver his team what it desperately  wanted. . .Super Bowl glory! 

That was all before last Sunday's brilliant second half performance against the longtime nemesis New England Patriots.  In engineering the greatest comeback in AFC Championship Game history, Peyton shed these criticisms, for two weeks at least, and has his Colts one win away from the aforementioned glory.  However, one thing seems to be getting overlooked.  All of the "choke" talk that has followed the Colts is valid!  It's just not valid to send it the quarterback's way.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the real choke artist from the Indianapolis Colts. . . Marvin Harrison!

  "Marvin is one of the greatest recievers of all time.  He runs great routes.  He has Hall-of-Fame numbers.  Most of all, he's not like those other arrogent NFL wideouts!  He shuts up and plays.  He's the Stuart Smalley of the NFL.  Doggone it.  People like him!"  This is what many of you are thinking as you read this, especially if you're name is Al Franken.  However, its possible that no "big-time" player has come up smaller in the history of the position than "Marvelous" Marvin.  His playoff stats:

Games - 13

Catches - 55

Rec. Yards - 776

TDs - 2

These numbers equal out to about 4.25 catches per game for 60 yards and .16 TDs.  Hall of Fame you say?  How much of a bust does he look like when you consider that 16 of his catches for 250 yards and both TDs came in the playoffs following 2003.  That's right.  No playoff TD catches in four years!  In the Colts three playoff wins this year, Harrison has 10 catches for a little over 120 yards. 

The statistical evidence becomes even more overwhelming when you actually watch the games.  The only difference between Marvin Harrison and Reche Caldwell on Sunday was that Harrison's team won, no thanks to him!  Harrison's attempted face-mask catch on a wide open deep ball was only forgotten because of his dropped "between the eight and the eight" slant pass the following quarter.

How did the Colts win with their #! reciever playing so poorly?  That's easy!  Peyton Manning led his career-defining go-ahead touchdown drive by doing exactly what he hasn't done in the past, which is NOT THROWING TO MARVIN HARRISON!  Manning used Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, and Joseph Addai to reach his goals.  Finally Manning dumped "who brung him" and used the weapons that are willing to get hit.  The ones who are willing to make the tough catch.  The ones who are willing to do what it takes to be called a champion.  The sad truth of it is that none of the previous statements describe the "great" Marvin Harrison. 

(Before you comment, please don't tell me about how teams gameplan to stop Harrsion.  If it were that easy, teams would do it in the regular season too.  The difference is not the defenses.  The difference is the player who mysteriously has no game this time of year, every year.)

Maybe I'm not the Tiger Woods of pick 'em after all.  Maybe my system, the XEA Q.C.K.I.Q., isn't the "be all" and "end all" in NFL playoff projection.  After a mediocre 2-2 divisional weekend, I find that the formula maybe more like Phil Mickelson than TIger Woods.  Which of course means that it's not the best, but still better than most.  Here are the Championship matchups:

NFC Championship Game

Drew Brees/ Sean Payton/ John Carney  @  Rex Grossman/ Lovie Smith/ Robbie Gould

The quotient didn't like either of these teams last week, but here they are and here I am!  Brees is a clear advantage over Grossman.  Lovie and Payton are still inexperienced and untested.  Neither coach has won a playoff game on the road, and both have won Coach of the Year.  Only Payton has to win on the road in this matchup, but homefield is not a part of the formula.  This is a push.  Carney vs. Gould is also a push.  So on the strength of Drew Brees, the New Orleans Saints will officially dethrone the Seattle Seahawks as the National Football Conference Champions.  (Come on Mean and BearsView.  Bring that Bears stuff in here!)

AFC Championship Game

Tom Brady/ Bill Belichick/ Stephen Gostkowski  @  Peyton Manning/ Tony Dungy/ Adam Vinatieri

This is a matchup between the two best teams in the NFL based on the formula!  The computer almost exploded tabulating this one.  You thought Michigan vs. Florida was a tough choice? (you were wrong by the way)  As crazy as this may seem, the quotient is designed to only rate the QBs as players.  Not clutch players, just players.  Under this system, Peyton Manning is the best QB in the game.  Therefore, as hard as this is for me to type, Tom Brady is actually not the advantage here.  The edge goes to the Colts and Manning.  The final two categories are blowouts.  Huge advantages go to the Pats for Belichcik and to the Colts for Vinatieri.  Therefore, the Indianapolis Colts will advance to Super Bowl XLI. 

I thought Einstein might be a stretch too, so I went for Dr. Brown.  Get off my Flux Compassitor!