So I was all set to blog on the Indians just "coincidentally" bringing in Josh Beckett's ex to sing the national anthem and God Bless America for Game 5 of the ALCS ... when out of nowhere my girlfriend from sophomore year of college showed up at FOXSports.com's palatial Beverly Hills offices on some sort of all-expenses paid trip courtesy of the Disney corporation. She's staring over my shoulder as I write and it's throwing me off my game a little bit.

Plus now there's some sort of insect infestation in the newsroom. I'm losing my train of thought every time I accidentally swallow one of the little suckers and junior editors are having to rub Deep Woods Off on the back of my neck in between sentences.

And they're threatening to call HR on me.

It's all very distracting and I blame the Cleveland Indians organization for introducing these unsportsmanlike tactics into the mainstream.

But if they've got Alyssa Milano -- another of Beckett's exes -- rocking some Indians gear in one of the seats right behind home plate, I may forgive them.

Eric Schnupp, Baylor's offensive line/tight ends coach, was issued a citation early Sunday for disorderly conduct-reckless exposure after the first-year assistant allegedly urinated on the bar at a Waco-area tavern.

I'm sure it will shock none of you to learn that Schnupp played his college ball at the University of Miami, where this sort of conduct doesn't even crack the "also receiving votes" section of the Top 25 Antisocial Behaviors Exhibited by Past, Present and Future Hurricanes poll.

That being said, it's not exactly the most mature way to express your disappointment over closing time being announced.

And given what happened earlier this year in a bar down in Big 12 country, it's also probably not wise to give fans of opposing programs an opening like that.

At least on the surface, it seems downright adorable that 17 members of the Minnesota Wild are bringing their mommies with them on their current West Coast road trip.

But we're telling you right now, Bring Your Mother to the Traditional Post-Game Strip Club Excursion Day is going to be just a wee bit awkward.

OK, now we think we understand how the Fighting Irish went into the Rose Bowl a three-touchdown underdog and emerged with its first win of the 2007 season. And no, it had nothing to do with the five turnovers committed by the Bruins' third-string walk-on quarterback, McLeod Bethel-Thompson.

Clearly, it was the end result of a bizarre and unholy voodoo ritual involving the body of Notre Dame legend George Gipp.

It all makes sense.

Shortly after Gipp's body was exhumed - 87 years after his mythical "win one for the Gipper" deathbed speech - Notre Dame wins a game in which it managed just 140 yards of total offense and totaled just 24 yards on its four scoring drives. Coincidence? We think not.

We would suggest Charlie Weis' willingness to dabble in the occult would put him squarely on the hot seat at Notre Dame, but we all know that the only thing that upsets the priests in South Bend more than an alliance with the dark prince is a losing season.

Well, that was disappointing.

After God derailed the Yankees in Game 2 of the ALDS by firing off a plague of locusts at Joba Chamberlain, we were expecting some Old Testament-style fireworks in Game 4.

After all, we fully expected Him to take Game 3 off for the Sabbath; how else can you explain -- at least from a theological standpoint -- New York avoiding the sweep?

But there were no frogs raining down on Yankee Stadium, Alex Rodriguez didn't break out into any unhealable boils and the Angel of Death didn't visit any of the Steinbrenner children Monday night.

Just a leadoff home run from Grady Sizemore, five surprisingly strong innings from Paul Byrd and a meltdown of admittedly Biblical proportions from Chien-Ming Wang.

Sure, it was an impressive display by the Indians, but certainly not the "wrath of God" type ending we were anticipating for the Evil Empire, although that may be coming soon.

In fact, we fully expect Scott Boras to show up at Steinbrenner's office any day now and demand, "Let my people go!"

And no, when we started on this little trip through the Book of Exodus, we really didn't think we'd end up with Scott Boras as Moses. But sometimes, that's how blogging goes ...