Who better to drop the puck on the NHL season than America's favorite hockey mom? Or America's least favorite hockey mom? You know, depending on which tracking poll you're relying on.

The Philadelphia Flyers have announced that GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin -- a self described pit bull with lipstick,er, hockey mom - will join the winner of a team promotion for the "Ultimate Hockey Mom" to drop the puck at the team's season opener Saturday against the New York Rangers.

This could be the electoral game-changer the McCain campaign has been looking for. Because if the NHL can do for McCain-Palin what it's done for, say, the Versus Network, well, there could be dozens of undecided voters out there for the taking.

But Palin better be careful. After announcing earlier this week that the "gloves are off" she may very well end up getting five minutes for fighting before the night is through.

You can call me a sentimental fool, but some wedding traditions just get me all choked up.

The first dance. Cutting the cake. The ceremonial handcuffing of the father of the bride.

Some may disagree, but in my book, a marriage isn't truly consummated until the proud papa gets put in the squad car. And if a major-league pitcher and a FEMA coordinator go along for the ride? Well that's just more Mazel Tovs to go around.

Astros pitcher Brandon Backe was among 10 people arrested this weekend during a brawl with police at a wedding reception at a Galveston hotel bar.

No details about the cause of the altercation were immediately available, leaving us to conclude that it was a bouquet toss gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Man, times are tough.

For example, the value of the dollar is so diminished, that A-Rod is using $100 bills for napkins.

I mean, seriously. You used to almost be able to fill up your gas tank for that amount. Now, you might as well just pull out your bankroll and use that fat wad of Benjamins to blow your nose for all the good it's going to do you as a form of currency. 

As for A-Rod, we're guessing he's had to resort to using cash as fine linens because all his Lehman Brothers stock certificates are already on a roll in his master bathroom.

A wide array of educators, child psychologists and parents have long maintained that video games -- for lack of a better term -- rot children's minds.

And with an advocate like Carl Edwards speaking on behalf of gamers everywhere, it's awfully difficult to argue.

Asked about that last-lap maneuver at Kansas Speedway in which he passed Jimmie Johnson on the low side, only to slingshot  into the wall, allowing Johnson to regain the lead and win the race, this is basically how Edwards explained his actions:

It works on my Xbox.

"In video games, you can just run into the wall and run it wide open," he added. "That's what I did, but it didn't quite work out the same as the video game."

I know just how Carl feels.

I play this one video game in which I pull innocent bystanders out from behind the wheel of their cars, then take a little joyride, during which I may, or may not (it all depends on my mood) mow down a street walker or two before leading police on a high-speed pursuit that culminates in several of Sin City's finest going down in a hail of automatic weapon fire.

And the one time I tried that outside of the virtual world . . . well, it DEFINITELY didn't work out the same as the video game.

Shawn Kemp's return to professional basketball lasted just nine days.

That's how long Kemp practiced with Montegranaro Premiata of the Italian League until the team broke off its one-year contract with the former NBA star ... one week before the start of the season, no less.

But on the plus side, that was probably only enough time for Kemp to father one illegitimate child that the Italian government will ultimately bear the financial responsibility for raising.

Two at the most.