So it's official.

No, no news on the impending Beckham transfer.

Actually maybe that's it. PLEASE, no more..... NO NEWS ON THE IMPENDING BECKHAM TRANSFER.

I've officially heard too much.

Is he getting another cap for the England team? Is the loan permanent to AC Milan? Blah blah blah.

Don't get me wrong. There are lots of Becks haters out there. I was never one of them. I watched him in MAN U, I watched him at Real Madrid,  I thought he cried a bit too much, but I thought he was a very good player, heck I even read his book on a plane. This one. And he actually admits to crying WAAAY too much in it.

With that said. Please no more Becks news until something is official. I can't go anywhere to check out news without being inundated by it.

Nowhere is safe.I went online.... I like the premiership, but there's a Friendly this week versus Spain and...well there's Becks again. So I take a little time off from Premiership news...let's see what's happening on the homefront in MLS....oh wait, apparently there's a player in Los Angeles that would like to leave. Becks. So I stop following MLS news, what's going on in Serie A? Hey Italy, looks like someone wants to come to AC Milan. Yep, Becks.There he is again. I go on MSN let's see some worldwide news. There in "ENTERTAINMENT" is "THE BECKHAMS: STAYING OR GOING?". I cancel my internet provider. By ripping it out of the wall.

Maybe it's time to tune out of soccer/football/futbol news for now. Let's turn on some music. I'm from Queens, New York, so it's one of two bands that I listen to, The Ramones and RUN DMC. Turn on RUN DMC and they're rapping MY ADIDAS. Love it. I'm blasting it. The neighbors say they're calling the cops.Midway through the rap, I think  "Oh wait, who's doing commercials for Adidas?" Becks. He was in the one where he had kids kick the ball at his jersey. Time to turn off Run DMC. I unplug the stereo. By ripping it out of the wall.

Let's see what's on TIVO. Hey it's the final season of ER! This should be the break I need. Watching, all is good, there's Uncle Jesse from Full House...and there, across the screen....there's actress Parminder Nagra. AHHHHH we all know what movie she was in. Yep BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM. I throw the TIVO out the window. It knocks a neighbor out.

I call my wife. She's telling me that she has MEATLOAF'S song "2 out of 3 aint't bad" in her head...great song. We discuss Meatloaf's career. This is going well. We mention his film career....I mention "FIGHT CLUB" and then it happens....she mentions his appearance in "SPICEWORLD" starring Victoria Beckham. I throw the cell phone into the garbage disposal. The cops are banging on my door but I don't hear them because the sound of grinding cell phone is just so loud.

Let's find something to read where I can hide. I just need something quiet. Let's read ROLLING STONE. I literally am on page 8 and there's his bizarre cologne ad. He's squinting in the ad.  I shred the magazine, I shred ALL of the magazines in the house.

So now I'm left with nothing. I'd go enjoy a bowl of cereal, but with my luck, he's lurking in the cereal box. He's been everywhere else. The cops barge in, who heard them knocking? Not me.

So with that. I'll be going away for a little while. If anything cool happens in sports this week, please send me a message...... by carrier pigeon.

Take care and be good,
TIM  aka Prisoner #08964523