I was a free agent NASCAR FAN.

A few years back, I'd been hanging out with some good folks when one of them looked over and asked "So do you watch NASCAR?"

"Afraid Not" I said. I had nothing against the sport, it just seemed like something that people we're REALLY into, and I never wanted to bother the fanatics with my stupid questions.

I soon agreed to join the crew on Memorial Day Weekend at the Dover Downs in Dover, Delaware. There was the Busch Race, and then and there, I was not only promised to get my Nascar questions answered, I was going to leave town with a favorite driver. This was an eye opener. The Nascar culture is something I'd never been a part of....so here's how the day went.

7:30 am. Meet at Mike's House. Mike was an EARNHARDT JR fan. He immediately campaigns for me to get Dale Jr as my new favorite driver. The conversation changes when Jim arrives (He's a Dale SR fan) and decided we should drink beer instead.

7:31 am. First beer is consumed. We are soon joined by Brian (Dale Jarrett Fan) Matt (Dale Jr Fan) and Paul (Steve Park Fan. Yes Steve Park)

7:40am 3rd beer is consumed. Time to hit the road, we're meeting Anthony down there (Tony Stewart fan) Anthony worked all night, so he will sleep in the backseat of his car for about an hour while we get there.

8:30 am we are at the Dover Downs, people have been there for WEEKS. Apparently people travel in their motor homes and stay put for the races, like Gypsies or Deadheads. They just follow the racing. Whereever it may be.

9:00am. After the 5th beer. I start getting quizzed by the guys on who my driver should be. I should like Dale Jr because he's successful, I should like Steve Park because we're both from New York. I excuse myself to go buy propane for the grill, which will be fired up promptly at 9:15am.

Steve Park. Legend. Maybe not.

9:06am I'm walking across the street to Lowes to buy propane, after looking at his huge cardboard cut out.... I ask "How about Jimmie Johnson as my driver?" This really makes the crew angry. Fortunately they get over it.

Apparently not the right choice.

9:08am I find out Jimmie Johnson races with Jeff Gordon, and Jeff Gordon is inherently evil. I take notes. So far I've learned that anyone named DALE is good and anyone named Jimmie Johnson or Jeff Gordon is bad.

9:15 am Brian fires up the grill. We're eating A LOT, good thing too because I've already had something like 8 beers.

10am. The conversation turns to Paul, because his favorite driver is Steve Park. Paul is made fun of for about a solid hour and a half. Paul is a trooper though. He took all that abuse and replied with simply "GO PARK!"

11:29am Paul is finished with being goofed on. Now Jim turns to me hands me a beer (I'd lost count at this point) and says "Bobby Labonte. This is your new driver"

11:30am The crowd, in unison, loves this decision. Before I knew it I'm surrounded by Bobby Labonte fans from all over the stadium. Where did they come from? How did they hear about this so quickly? I'm presented with a new Labonte cap, and several "congratulations on your new driver" beers. Nascar is almost like a presidential campaign. People love it when you're on their side.

Noon. Time to head in. My new Labonte friends give me earplugs. We all head into the Dover Downs.

12:38 pm. Not sure how or why, but I get passed security and I'm watching the track from the press boxes with 3 of the guys. We were keeping quiet, until, three minutes later.... we got greedy and started eating their food.

12:41 pm. We're kicked out of the press boxes and now in our seats.

1pm. The qualifying race begins. I'll be honest, it was a lot of fun, everyone was balancing cheering for their drives and ragging on Paul because Steve Park broke down 40 seconds into the race.

1:29pm The qualifier is over. What now?

1:30pm Back in the parking lot where there is a beer drinking contest. Matt wins.

2:48pm Jim, the Dale Sr fan, decides that some of the crew should start doing shots of Sambuca.

2:49pm My first instinct is "don't drink the sambuca" my 2nd instinct is "Tim, stop being a wuss, do what Nascar fans are doing, drink the sambuca". Turns out my 2nd instinct was right........the Sambuca was delicious and fantastic.

3:30pm I suddenly have a phone in my hand, I go down every number, call it and tell everyone I'm their boss, and that they are fired. It was the Sambuca talking. Ok, no it wasn't, I just thought it was funny.

4:15pm Call everyone back and tell them I was kidding and they have a job on Monday Morning.

4:30 pm No idea how I got there, but Jim is now in his jeep and we are speeding out in the mud. Glad I'm not driving.

5:48pm Uh oh, while speeding in the mud, Jim lost the remote control and now "WITHOUT YOU" by Motley Crue is BLASTING on his stereo over and over again on repeat. We have no way to make it stop.

6:40pm After more grilling and more beers, it's time to start packing up. I help. However, while trying to help, I somehow lose Brian's Dale Jarrett can cozy. Sorry about that.

8pm. I'm driven home. I'd been listening to Motley Crue's "WITHOUT YOU" at top levels for almost 3 hours, I was sunburned, muddy and somehow, on top of all of this, there was a legitimate job offer on my voicemail.

So that was my first Nascar experience. Say what you will, the crowds, the culture, the events, wow Nascar was a BLAST. Special thanks to the drivers for staying sober and getting that unruly bunch home safely.

I'll be seeing the same crew now, years later at the Daytona party this weekend. I still have that Labonte cap from that day.

Never a dull moment with that crew.

take care, be good and GO PARK,

Your Friends at Philadelphonic