At The Gym

 

 

-A cheesy salesperson will try to pressure you into buying a membership.

 

 

-There's always a guy wearing a pair of those MC Hammer pants with the gaudy print.

 

 

-There's always a guy wearing one of those ridiculous fanny packs.

 

 

-There's always a guy wearing a sweatshirt with the sleeves and neckhole cut out of it.

 

 

-There's always a guy wearing wrestling shoes.

 

 

-There's always a guy wearing MC Hammer pants with gaudy print, a ridiculous fanny pack, a sleeveless, neckless sweatshirt, AND a pair of wrestling shoes! 

 

 

-There's always a guy working out in dress clothes.

 

 

-Some guy with visible abs will lift up the bottom half of his shirt and check himself out so that everyone in the area knows he has abs.  This is usually done because he has no noteworthy muscle on any other part of his body.

 

 

-Some other guy will admire himself in the mirror like a peacock even though he has a terrible body from head to toe.

 

 

-Some guy with a staring problem will make everyone around him uncomfortable.

 

 

-There's a line to get on the foofy butt machine while the squat rack gathers dust.

 

 

-The person in the bathroom stall next to yours is usually the one who consumed one too many low-quality protein shakes.

 

 

 

 

At The Gym

 

 

 

 

-There's always that one person with horrible body odor.

 

 

-A woman will remain seated in the inner-thigh machine between sets, thereby exposing her sweaty crotch for all see.

 

 

-When you walk into the sauna, a creepy old naked guy will already be sitting there.

 

 

-A prima donna in the women's locker room will monopolize the mirror while she does her hair and makeup for a period of no less than 90 minutes.

 

 

-The cheesy salesperson who pressured you into buying your membership will immediately turn around and ask you to sell out 3 of your friends so that can subject them to the same type of pressure.

 

 

-A jerk with money to blow will buy personal training sessions for his grudging son to improve his football performance, even though it's painfully obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes that the child has no business in athletics of any kind.

 

 

-Female bodybuilders encourage each other with cheers of "go girl!" even though the term "girl" is somewhat of a misnomer.

 

 

In fact...

 

 

-Female bodybuilders walk bow-legged not because of their overly-developed leg muscles, but because of the clitoral enlargement brought on by their steroid use.

 

 

-There's always a fat guy wearing Richard Simmons shorts.  (Oftentimes, this individual does not wear underwear.)

 

 

-There's always some over-the-hill flabby lady with spandex shorts, a bra top, and nothing covering her midsection.

 

 

-The people lifting the most weight are the ones with the worst form.

 

 

In fact...

 

 

-At the end of his set, some guy pressing dumbells that are way too heavy for him to handle will drop them to the floor with a crash, causing those around him to shake their heads and snicker mockingly under their breath.

 

 

And...

 

 

-Some guy will slide about eight 45-lb plates on each side of the leg press machine, perform a few repetitions with a 6-inch of range of motion, grunt loudly, push on his knees for assistance, then walk away and leave the plates on the machine for someone else to remove.

 

 

-The cheesy salesperson who pressured you into buying your membership will forget your name before the first time you return to work out.

 

 

 

 

At The Gym

 

 

 

 

-The guy with the most back hair will always be wearing a tank top.

 

 

-A girl with fake boobs and a perfect ass will lolligag for a couple of hours and barely do any work... and no one will complain.

 

 

-There's always a lady who casually strolls on the treadmill while drinking a smoothie, reading a magazine, and talking on her cell phone, then wonders why she doesn't lose any weight.

 

 

-There's always some lady who's afraid to touch a dumbell for fear that doing so will make her muscles big and bulky.

 

 

And on the flip side...

 

 

-There's always a misguided 90-lb guy who thinks that using a weight belt, workout gloves, lifting straps, and chalk will somehow help him "get huge".

 

 

-There's always that one person who sits on the equipment as if he/she can get in shape by omsosis.

 

 

-There's always a guy with an enormous upper body and pinpole legs that appear as if they'll break beneath him if he steps the wrong way.

 

 

-Someone will wear the same exact workout clothes every single day.

 

 

-There's always a super-sweaty individual who doesn't use a workout towel or wipe off the equipment after after finishing.

 

 

And...

 

 

-It's easy to determine if this person has used a piece of equipment before you because he never fails to leave his calling card: a v-shaped pattern of buttcrack sweat in the spot where he/she was seated.

 

 

-A woman will attempt to avoid sweating because the