Don't go away mad, don't go away sad, don't go away glad...

If I had run into ESPN's Mike Greenberg on the morning of March 4th, I would have slapped his smirky face off. Then, in a moment of Cosby-esque furor, I would have shrieked, "YOU PICK THAT GODDAMN FACE UP!" And then, I would  have slapped it off again. That just begins to tell you how mad I was --- and likely, still am -- at Mr. Greenberg.

Of course, if I allow myself to get logical, I know that he's not the only reason why my QB is playing for his team and not for mine. But when it comes to love -- and yes, you can love a team and its QB as deeply and profoundly as anything in this world -- logic is besides the point.

Still, Greenie was among the Greek Chorus of sportswriters and talking heads who forced Brett Favre's hand back in March to retire -- kind of. "Oh, you have to tell us all what you're going to do,' they cried. "You CAN'T let the Packers go into the draft without saying whether you're going to retire or not, " moped Greenie and all the others -- ESPN's nattering nabobs of negativity.

So, of course, after he says goodbye, Brett Honey starts to get that proverbial itch and wants to come back to Green Bay. Except that team's present brain trust (and I use that term loosely) has other plans that don't include #4.

Ted Thompson might accomplish much in his NFL management career, but I doubt it. When he dies, the New York Times' obit will read, "MAN WHO TRADED FAVRE."

And where does #4 wind up? Yuppers, Greenie's beloved New York Jets! I used to like the Jets, I really did. Unlike Greenberg, I can actually remember Joe Willie Namath playing in Shea Stadium, the Heidi game and "chicken ain't nothing but a bird." (As another former denizon of Shea used to say, you can look it up, Greenie.)

Like any spurned lover, it would be much nicer to slide into the shadows and not reminded of it. No dice. All of the Wisconsin CBS affiliates are trying to cash in on the Brett Favre love train and have been broadcasting nothing but Jets games this fall. It's like some girl leaves you for the rich guy and you have to keep seeing them ride by in that flashy car.

Back in September, when locals were choosing sides and some were going through their own Kubler-Ross levels of loss, many were still saying Packers Uber Alles. This team can still be a winner, they shouted from the highest hills. I begged to differ.

When they were hyperventilating over the 2-0 start, I humphed and said, this team will finish 7-9 or 9-7 -- it's simply mediocre without you-know-who at QB. Now that it's December, to paraphrase Denny Green, the Packers are who I thought they were.

Okay, Ted Thompson becomes the Grinch who stole the Packers' season. I can hate him for the rest of my life -- and likely will. And Brett Favre becomes just another ex who dumped me when things got tough. That leaves Greenie.

Let's tally it up, shall we? Mike Greenberg:

A) pissed and moaned that Favre should retire

B) was rewarded by Favre playing for his New York Jets

C) wouldn't know trivia if it bit him on the tuckus, but still got to host a trivia show -- (even if nobody watched Duel) and

D) is still ducking me in a debate on who would make a better next baseball Commissioner.

Yes, I threw the gauntlet down back last summer -- even had a few fans write back with their own pledges to vote for me.

I feel not unlike Kool Moe Dee trying to call out LL Cool J in that rapper's duel back in the day. LL couldn't rap his way out of a paper bag, but jeez louise, he's sooooooo cute anyway. LL is making movies these days and Kool Moe is left with little more than the knowledge that he was the superior rhyme writing talent.

Still, I'm still throwing it down, Greenie. You got Duel, you got Golic (okay, you can keep HIM) and now, you stole MY QB! If I may channel my inner Ice T, it's on! As Kool Moe once rapped, "if somebody knows the boy, better tell him 'cuz the boy ain't got no heart."

I again challenge you, Mike Greenberg, to a debate on who would make a better baseball Commissioner. You can bring all of your ESPN buddies -- Buster Olney, Peter Gammons and the rest -- have them ask us both the same questions. Afterwards, let's see if they don't say, "jeez Greenie I like you but the Beer Man made some good points out there.'

Yes, a Beer Man should be the next Commissioner. And if someone like me -- the product of a white mother and black father -- can grow up to be President, why can't another White Sox fan aspire to run the National Pasttime.

And it would give me something to do while avoiding Greenie and the Bretts.

Explode the pig again, man...

Locally, in the last week, we saw the arrival of something called the Australian Pink Floyd show.  You may have had the same thought as I did when I heard of it -- "you mean, as opposed to the Austrian Pink Floyd show? Maybe, I'll wait for the Brazilian Pink Floyd show -- you know, more nudity and color with more flamboyant costumes?"

I mean, what in bloody hell is going on around here? I'll let their official website explain...The Australian Pink Floyd Show was formed in Adelaide, South Australia in 1988, but weren't known as this until relocating to the UK. (Read the 'History' on this website) They were the first Pink Floyd tribute band to tour in the UK back in 1993, starting off with the first International Pink Floyd fan convention at Wembley convention centre. The event was run in conjunction with 'Brain Damage' magazine.

So, that's it? They're charging $23-53 American for a tribute band?! Oh, but the ad promises lazers and inflatables. Which means, what exactly? That this overpriced wannabe groove ship is going explode that silly pig again?

For some reason, I paid good money to see the REAL Pink Floyd -- three times -- back in the day and I have one question for you: Unless you're still smoking funny cigarettes, why would you spend fifty bucks to see a bloody tribute band?! As for me, I'll wait for the Brazilian Pink Floyd, thank you.

Speaking of us and them, I was still in the clouds of joy over the election last week. (And puh-leese, don't ask WHICH election, rilly...)

I was telling an older white woman about celebrating with steak and champagne on Nov. 5th, when she spat back in utter contempt, "oh you're one of THEM!"

Yes well, us IS them now, dearie. And I am he and you are we and we are all together now, eh? Isn't it now the United States of America?

I wasn't sure of how to reply, but I simply said, "you know what? You're welcome to stay. I'm not sure if I was ever welcome in YOUR America, but you're perfectly welcome to stay in mine!"

I'm pleased to say this wasn't the only reaction I received from a GOP voter. Another person -- my regular cashier at the local liquor store -- and I had a wonderful conversation where we shared our views, our hopes and concerns.

I mean, mean white folks have run things for the last eight years and we all know how that's worked out, eh?! It is the ultimate irony that they BLEEPED the country so badly that people were willing to give a black man a try at fixing it. In their own special way, Bush-Cheney did more to advance civil rights that anyone could have dreamed of.

Still, not everyone's civil rights were advanced on Nov. 5th. As you may well know, the state of California voted in favor of Prop. 8, which banned gay marriage. And you may have read that the Mormon church spent huge amounts of money for ads of Prop. 8.

What I'm waiting for is protesters -- who have been picketing Mormon churches -- to figure out that BYU's athletic teams are the most visible manifestations of the church and begin protesting at BYU football and basketball games.

This is where some dummy will say, they have nothing to do with each other. You shouldn't punish those poor kids for what their church decided to do. And that's where I'd say, bullfeathers -- or something of the kind.

At least, I'm consistant in this: I root against any school that in the least way implies that Jesus Christ comes out to shoot free throws and kick extra points. So, Notre Dame and BYU are equally culpable.

Still, the Fighting Irish didn't openly spend vast sums of money to promote bigotry in the state of California. The people who run BYU did.

And yet -- as in the 1960's strugfle for civil rights -- not all religious groups are acting in support of such bigotry. In St Louis, as in many cities this weekend, many in the Jewish community came out to protest the decision.

Still, a student from Tufts University asks that people not target the Mormon church. While I might not agree, he does make a few salient points.

Mormons did not create homophobia, and they were not the only people who voted for Prop 8. In fact, people of all religions and persuasions voted for it, even some gay men and women.

Other religious organizations contributed monetarily to the campaign to pass Prop 8 as well. While I am saddened by the lack of Mormon resistance to Prop 8 -- many Mormons are truly wonderful people -- it is wrong to demean their religion because of the actions of some.

As a Jewish man, I cannot and will not condone hate mongering of any religion. I know too well how my religion has been targeted for over two millennia, how we have been wrongly blamed for a litany of crimes we never committed. While Mormons contributed significantly to the campaign, it is counterproductive to single them out. Doing so may only make them feel even firmer about their beliefs, and this is obviously not our objective.

We must show them and all peoples that we have respect. An eye for an eye makes everyone blind. We must show the world our true colors, our strengths and our beautiful humanity. This is what we must do. We must not discriminate against those who discriminate against us. Though I am not a Christian, I believe the right thing to do now is to turn the other cheek. To follow in the footsteps of Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., C