Don't go away mad, don't go away sad, don't go away glad...

If I had run into ESPN's Mike Greenberg on the morning of March 4th, I would have slapped his smirky face off. Then, in a moment of Cosby-esque furor, I would have shrieked, "YOU PICK THAT GODDAMN FACE UP!" And then, I would  have slapped it off again. That just begins to tell you how mad I was --- and likely, still am -- at Mr. Greenberg.

Of course, if I allow myself to get logical, I know that he's not the only reason why my QB is playing for his team and not for mine. But when it comes to love -- and yes, you can love a team and its QB as deeply and profoundly as anything in this world -- logic is besides the point.

Still, Greenie was among the Greek Chorus of sportswriters and talking heads who forced Brett Favre's hand back in March to retire -- kind of. "Oh, you have to tell us all what you're going to do,' they cried. "You CAN'T let the Packers go into the draft without saying whether you're going to retire or not, " moped Greenie and all the others -- ESPN's nattering nabobs of negativity.

So, of course, after he says goodbye, Brett Honey starts to get that proverbial itch and wants to come back to Green Bay. Except that team's present brain trust (and I use that term loosely) has other plans that don't include #4.

Ted Thompson might accomplish much in his NFL management career, but I doubt it. When he dies, the New York Times' obit will read, "MAN WHO TRADED FAVRE."

And where does #4 wind up? Yuppers, Greenie's beloved New York Jets! I used to like the Jets, I really did. Unlike Greenberg, I can actually remember Joe Willie Namath playing in Shea Stadium, the Heidi game and "chicken ain't nothing but a bird." (As another former denizon of Shea used to say, you can look it up, Greenie.)

Like any spurned lover, it would be much nicer to slide into the shadows and not reminded of it. No dice. All of the Wisconsin CBS affiliates are trying to cash in on the Brett Favre love train and have been broadcasting nothing but Jets games this fall. It's like some girl leaves you for the rich guy and you have to keep seeing them ride by in that flashy car.

Back in September, when locals were choosing sides and some were going through their own Kubler-Ross levels of loss, many were still saying Packers Uber Alles. This team can still be a winner, they shouted from the highest hills. I begged to differ.

When they were hyperventilating over the 2-0 start, I humphed and said, this team will finish 7-9 or 9-7 -- it's simply mediocre without you-know-who at QB. Now that it's December, to paraphrase Denny Green, the Packers are who I thought they were.

Okay, Ted Thompson becomes the Grinch who stole the Packers' season. I can hate him for the rest of my life -- and likely will. And Brett Favre becomes just another ex who dumped me when things got tough. That leaves Greenie.

Let's tally it up, shall we? Mike Greenberg:

A) pissed and moaned that Favre should retire

B) was rewarded by Favre playing for his New York Jets

C) wouldn't know trivia if it bit him on the tuckus, but still got to host a trivia show -- (even if nobody watched Duel) and

D) is still ducking me in a debate on who would make a better next baseball Commissioner.

Yes, I threw the gauntlet down back last summer -- even had a few fans write back with their own pledges to vote for me.

I feel not unlike Kool Moe Dee trying to call out LL Cool J in that rapper's duel back in the day. LL couldn't rap his way out of a paper bag, but jeez louise, he's sooooooo cute anyway. LL is making movies these days and Kool Moe is left with little more than the knowledge that he was the superior rhyme writing talent.

Still, I'm still throwing it down, Greenie. You got Duel, you got Golic (okay, you can keep HIM) and now, you stole MY QB! If I may channel my inner Ice T, it's on! As Kool Moe once rapped, "if somebody knows the boy, better tell him 'cuz the boy ain't got no heart."

I again challenge you, Mike Greenberg, to a debate on who would make a better baseball Commissioner. You can bring all of your ESPN buddies -- Buster Olney, Peter Gammons and the rest -- have them ask us both the same questions. Afterwards, let's see if they don't say, "jeez Greenie I like you but the Beer Man made some good points out there.'

Yes, a Beer Man should be the next Commissioner. And if someone like me -- the product of a white mother and black father -- can grow up to be President, why can't another White Sox fan aspire to run the National Pasttime.

And it would give me something to do while avoiding Greenie and the Bretts.