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All Star
Marlo Thomas would've made a better Veep pick.
The nexus of today's column centers on the city of Seattle. Jack Zduriencik, the man who rebuilt the Milwaukee Brewers' franchise, will be introduced this morning as the Seattle Mariners' new General Manager. The teeth-gnashing in Milwaukee is only just beginning.
In what may be a bumpy off-season for the Brew Crew, Zduriencik could be the team's biggest loss. The man who drafted the likes of Prince Fielder, JJ Hardy and Rickie Weeks is leaving the team. As the Associated Press reports, Milwaukee Brewers' general manager Doug Melvin has two big vacancies to fill.
He says he'll choose a field manager before deciding who will run the team's scouting operation.
Yesterday, scouting director Jack Zduriencik was named the general manager in Seattle. Melvin says he's not ready to talk about candidates for the scouting post. The Brewers' Web site says assisting scouting director Tony Blengino may be considered, along with long-time assistant Tom Flanagan. Flanagan is the director of administration for player development and scouting. Four regional scouting cross-checkers could also be in line to replace Zduriencik. They include Jeff Cornell and Bruce Seid.
Today, Melvin is scheduled to interview his third candidate for the managing vacancy, former Arizona manager Bob Brenly. Melvin says he has already interviewed ex-Mets' skipper Willie Randolph and former Oakland manager Ken Macha. He expects to make a decision on the managing post sometime next week.
Tracy Ringolsby of the Rocky Mountain News believes the M's made a great choice.
Revamping the Mariners will be a challenge, but it's nothing compared to the mess that was the Brewers, where the financial resources are nowhere close to what Mariners ownership has committed.
The Brewers farm system was ranked 30th by Baseball America in 2000 and 2001 but, by 2004, had risen to No. 1. The Brewers ended a 12-year losing streak in 2005, then, this season, made their first postseason appearance since 1982.
A year ago, Zduriencik was bypassed for the GM job in his native Pittsburgh but became the first nongeneral manager to be voted Executive of the Year by Baseball America.
Now Zduriencik will get his chance in Seattle, where those who have worked with him are convinced he will be a success.
"I'm confident in Jack Zduriencik," then-Brewers manager Ned Yost said when asked about the 2007 first-round selection of Matt LaPorta. "If Jack drafted Pee-wee Herman, I'd be feeling pretty good about it."
Funny that you should mention Yost, as the Seattle Times suggests that the recently deposed Milwaukee manager is Zduriencik's first choice for the next Mariners' skipper.
It was six years ago that the Milwaukee Brewers hired Ned Yost to manage a team that had lost 106 games. The guy in charge of drafting and player development for Milwaukee was none other than Zduriencik, and the fruits of his picks were about to be reaped by Yost at the major-league level.
Within three seasons, the Brewers were playing .500 ball. Yost then had them contending for the playoffs last year and again this season before being fired in mid-September with his team in a dreadful slump. The dismissal, an act of apparent desperation by team owner Mark Attanasio, came against the wishes of GM Doug Melvin and his staff.
And now, on the lookout for his next job, Yost would like nothing more than to team up again with old pal Zduriencik in Seattle.
"Definitely, most definitely," Yost said in an interview on Thursday. "The opportunity to work with Jack again is really, really appealing."
This column has already expressed the belief that Brenly is a no-brainer for the field manager's job. Macha was Melvin's first choice when he hired Yost, but it would take too long for the former Oakland A's skipper to get up to speed.
Willie Randolph may be a sentimental pick as he did finish his playing days in Milwaukee, but -- even though I like the man -- I don't feel he's the right man for the job at this time.
The reason I (along with many Brewer followers) are pushing so hard for Brenly is that he's spent the last four years working for their closest rival, the Chicago Cubs. Yes, he was in the broadcast booth, but if there's anyone around who knows how to beat the Cubbies, it's Brenly. And oh by the way, Brenly has something that neither Macha nor Randolph has -- a World Series ring as manager.
The Chicago Tribune is already sensing what could become of the budding Milwaukee-Chicago rivalry under a Brenly administration.
The idea of Brenly managing in the Central Division against good friends Lou Piniella and Dusty Baker, two men he has studied closely over the last four years in the Cubs' booth, is only part of the package of intrigue. The juicy stuff will come at Miller Park and Wrigley Field whenever Alfonso Soriano steps into the box.
Brenly vs. Soriano was just a footnote in a wild Cubs season, but it was one of the more interesting developments of the early going. In May, after Soriano dropped a fly ball to lose a game in Pittsburgh with two outs in the ninth inning, Brenly argued Soriano wasn't a true "superstar." He went on to add the memorable line that you could "throw a dart" in the dugout and hit someone who's a better fielder than the Cubs' $136 million outfielder.
There are two more sports stories of note in the Great Northwest. The NBA season opens up shop next week and for the first time since 1967, it does so without a team in Seattle. The former Super Sonics were allowed to move and become the Oklahoma City Thunder. Still, as was the case with the NFL's Cleveland Browns, the team agreed to release the SuperSonics' name, logo, and colors to a possible future NBA club in Seattle, but retained rights to its franchise history.
As Art Theil and Gary Washburn of seattlepi.com report in today's edition, a new plan to divert a portion of hotel-tax money from the state convention center to a remodel of KeyArena could help Seattle begin pursuing a replacement NBA team as soon as 2010. NBA Commissioner David Stern said Thursday "positive" talks have gone on between the league and a potential ownership group headed by Microsoft Chief Executive Steve Ballmer, who led an ill-fated plan to save the Sonics earlier this year.
Deputy Mayor Tim Ceis confirmed the talks, and said he was optimistic that this time around the city's request for state authorization will meet little resistance when the Legislature convenes in January.
"It should be noncontroversial, because it's a city-only tax that already exists and will not be an increase," Ceis said of the latest attempt to find a long-sought public portion of a proposed $300 million renovation for a building currently deemed financially obsolete by the National Basketball Association.
"If we can get our funding package together this session, we can start to work with the Ballmer group on identifying a team for Seattle, but probably not until 2010."
TNT's Marv Albert made more than 30 years of trips to Seattle to call basketball games, and his disappointment was apparent.
"I would think the NBA is looking eventually to put a team back in Seattle," he said. "It's too good a city and the history of the NBA in Seattle is too strong for it not to be viable in the short time. I bet on it, that they will have a franchise."
Arguably a bigger story in town is the predicted demise of UW football coach Ty Willingham. He was came to Seattle after being dumped by Notre Dame and - wouldn't you know it - the Fighting Irish come to town this weekend.
Also from seattlepi.com, "before Willingham arrived in South Bend in 2002, the Irish had four .500 or worse seasons in the previous 20 years.
Willingham's three-year record was 21-16. After his 10-3 debut season, his teams put together records of 5-7 and 6-6 and never won a bowl game.
What was astounding, though, was how Notre Dame lost.
In 2004, the Irish lost to USC by 31 points, to Purdue by 25 points. The year before, they lost to Florida State, USC and Michigan by margins of 37, 31 and 38 points, respectively.
These losses really got people talking.
"All the stuff that people liked about him changed," Hansen said. "His being quiet and stuff? The first year it was, 'He's introspective.' Then it turned into, 'He's guarded.'
"Then they had these thunderous losses, and Tyrone didn't have an explanation."
Whatever went wrong for Willingham in South Bend seems to have manifested itself at Washington. The UW likely will give the coach a pink slip at season's end.
After three-plus seasons, Huskies fans have joined in the chatter, voicing their displeasure as much with the product the coach has put on the field as with his stoic demeanor and puzzling explanations.
With an 11-31 record and just two home wins against BCS opponents, Willingham may feel the world stacking against him yet again."
The other U-Dub, Wisconsin, celebrates -- if that's the right word -- Homecoming tomorrow with an 11am kickoff versus the Cheating (sorry) Fighting Ilini. Somehow, news of the Badgers' dismal losing streak must not have gotten to Las Vegas, as the oddsmakers have Illinois as a mere 2 1/2 point favorite.
Two and a half?! I'd put the over/under for people getting Tazered at 2 1/2.
In the Big Ten football game that matters, the Cleveland Plain Dealer's Doug Lesmerises has the following assessment:
* If Ohio State wins: The Buckeyes would gain the inside track for the Big Ten title with only three games remaining against Northwestern, Illinois and Michigan. Ohio State might climb to No. 6 in the BCS standings on Sunday, but the Buckeyes would need a lot of help, including multiple Texas losses and a USC upset loss, to get back in the national title race. So the Big Ten champ would almost certainly wind up in its expected home, at the Rose Bowl.
Even if Ohio State loses once after beating Penn State, the Buckeyes would still head to the Rose Bowl as the conference champ because of the head-to-head win over Penn State.
* If Penn State wins: The Nittany Lions would remain undefeated and ranked No. 3 in the country with games remaining at Iowa and at home with Indiana and Michigan State. Texas and Alabama would stay ahead of the Nittany Lions in the BCS standings - unless Alabama plays another close one and Penn State is particularly impressive. Then Penn State could leap to No. 2.
But it's hard to imagine both Texas and Alabama finishing without a loss - there are too many hurdles remaining. When one of those team loses, I don't see another one-loss team jumping undefeated Penn State. So the path is pretty clear to Miami for the Nittany Lions with a win Saturday.
And that would leave the Rose Bowl without the Big Ten champ and looking to pick a replacement. A 10-2 team that could very well be back in the top 10 by the end of the year with a rabid fanbase that hasn't made the trip to Pasadena in 12 years - that would be a pretty good replacement choice for the folks in Pasadena. If the Rose Bowl chose Illinois last year to replace Ohio State, when there were higher ranked teams out there, then Ohio State would definitely be chosen to replace Penn State.
After Ohio State lost to USC, I made hotel reservations for the Capital One Bowl, but it doesn't look like that will be necessary. The easiest way for Ohio State to fall short of Pasadena is for Penn State to win on Saturday and then lose to Michigan State, falling out of the national title picture and then heading to the Rose Bowl as the Big Ten champ.
He also suggests that, one way or another, Buckeye fans start making reservations for Pasadena now.
Finally, this column has received letters that we include too much politics while others have saluted its pulse on the body politic. I'd argue that this election is rather important, doncha think?
In 11 days, it'll be the beginning or the end of the world, depending on how you view these things. Unfortunately, it will not be the end of us having to suffer through Sarah Palin's face on our television screens. As John Kerry might put it, oh that it were so.
Many have suggested that the erstwhile hockey mom has been auditioning for some future job and that scenario was confirmed as the Hollywood Reporter gives us this ghastly news.
As campaign managers for Sarah Palin plot last-minute tactics to get her elected, Hollywood bigwigs are convening strategy sessions of their own. Their goal: finding the ideal on-air vehicle for the vp candidate if and when she exits politics.
Love her or hate her -- there doesn't seem to be much middle ground with Palin -- the 44-year-old hockey mom has captured the public imagination in a way no politician has since, well, Barack Obama.
But as more and more polls cast doubt on the McCain-Palin ticket, producers and agents across the entertainment world are discussing possibilities for capitalizing on her fame, ranging from an Oprah-style syndicated talk show to a Sean Hannity-like perch in cable news or on radio.
"Any television person who sees the numbers when she appears on anything would say Sarah Palin would be great," said veteran morning-show producer Steve Friedman, citing the double-digit ratings gains her appearances on "Saturday Night Live" and "CBS Evening News" generated. "The passion she has on each side, love and hate, makes television people say, 'Wow, imagine the viewership.' "
Although none of the execs has -- at least as far as anyone is admitting -- made direct overtures to the Alaska governor, they are readying their battle plans if she decides to give up her day job.
Of course, even if the McCain-Palin ticket loses, the Tina Fey look-alike still has a job in politics for at least another two years as governor of Alaska. A spokesman for Palin did not return calls for comment.
But the candidate has undeniable onscreen charisma as her "SNL" performance proved last weekend. And though the Palin Express sometimes veers off the tracks -- as it did in her notorious interview with Katie Couric -- Americans enjoy celebrities as much for their contretemps as their talent.
Most industry insiders believe a talk show is the probable route for Palin. Although daytime syndication can be tough sledding, it would take a personality of her stature to break through the clutter, and her folksy red-state persona could be just the thing to connect with this female-skewing audience.
One producer/packager said he has held internal staff meetings about how to best parlay Palin's appeal and skills, with a daytime talk show the likely vehicle. "I see her less as a variety-show host like Ellen (DeGeneres) and more of a single-topic host like Tyra (Banks), or maybe what Jenny Jones used to be," said Chris Coelen, CEO of RDF USA.
However, one syndie veteran who wished to remain anonymous believes Palin would not make an ideal candidate for talk show host or even court show judge.
"I would not put her on the air," the exec said. "I find her a little stiff, and her ability to read the room is not quite fully developed."
Cable news is another possibility, particularly Fox News Channel, if Palin wants to keep her conservative bona fides intact. There's a well-worn path between the Beltway and TV, from Pat Buchanan to as recent an example as former presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee, who just began his own weekly series on Fox News.
So, we can either look forward (NOT!) to the vapid Palin hosting on Fox Noise or becoming the next Tyra.
The thing is, the best political commentary on the joke that is her VP selection has come from Saturday Night Live. While the rest of the press has treated her with kid gloves, the Baltimore Sun gives the show its much deserved credit for going where the conventional media has feared to go.
Watching the Thursday night installment of Saturday Night Live, I was reminded yet again what a profound service political satire serves in this democracy. Again, if the Peabody Awards folks want to retain any sense of relevancy as a reward for socially-conscious programming, SNL has got to be honored first and foremost.
Given the general sense of insecurity and even confusion as to the role of the press in this era of vast economic and technological change, I don't think there are any journalistic voices that could comfortably say what SNL said Thursday night about the performance of outgoing President George W. Bush and the increasingly obvious ambition and recklessness on Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin. And yet, I am sure SNL's actions and words spoke to what millions of Americans are feeling (as the record ratings for SNL's overall skewering of the candidates and current administration has shown this year).
The concept of the opening sketch Thursday with Bush endorsing the McCain-Palin ticket was inspired. It cut straight to the embarrassment the president's own party has for his performance and the troubled state in which he leaves this country. Will Ferrell returned to play Bush, with Tina Fey (I had to stop myself from using the words "the brilliant" in front of her name) as Palin.
Here's a bit of it...
WILL FERRELL AS BUSH: "Hello, my fellow Americans. I have chosen to schedule this impromptu address at night because quite frankly every time I speak during the day, the Stock Market goes in the crapper. So, sorry, Asian markets. You take the hit on this one. I come to you tonight in the midst of a very important election between two very qualified candidates: the hot lady and the Tiger Woods guy. Both candidates are heavily patriotized and display much characterization. And yes, I did have three Xanax and a Silver Bullet about a half-hour ago. I'm out of here in a few months, so screw it. But before I leave I wanted to help Sarah Palin and John McCain by giving them what every candidate wants most: a prime-time heavily publicized network endorsement from George W. Bush. Hey, don't pinch yourself John, you are awake!"
FERRELL AS BUSH (continues) -- "Now I tried to do this several months ago but somehow it kept getting pushed to a written press release or a shouted sentence as I walked to the helicopter. I began to suspect that they didn't want my endorsement to be too public. But now with the country on a big upswing and my numbers on the rise, I thought it was time to give a proper, large scale 'much love' to McCain and Palin..."
(WILL FORTE, playing an AIDE to the president, enters and whispers in BUSH's ear)
FERRELL AS BUSH (continues) - "What? Really? Why didn't you tell me Jeff? I've just been told by my trusted aide Jeff, that the country is actually in a horrible downward spiral and that my approval numbers are lower than ever. That one's on me. Four months ago, I declared the Oval Office a bummer-free zone. So... You know what, let's bring on Senator McCain and Governor Palin."
(TINA FEY as SARAH PALIN enters smiling and waving and sits next to BUSH on the front the desk)
TINA FEY AS PALIN - "So nice to meet you, Mr. President. I've seen you on TV."
FERRELL AS BUSH - "Where's McRage?"
FEY AS PALIN - "You know, John McCain and I have been so busy travelin' around this great country of ours talkin' about change and energy independence and William Ayers, and doin' a little shoppin', but unfortunately Senator McCain, upon hearing you wanted to give him a super public endorsement, cannot be found. He was last seen travelin' on foot through the Adirondacks. But my husband and two of his drinkin' buddies are in pursuit on snowmachines.
FERRELL AS BUSH - "Well, We'll smoke him out. George Bush always finds his man save for one huge exception."
FEY AS PALIN - "We are gonna get 'er done."
FERRELL AS BUSH - "My God you are folksy."
FEY AS PALIN - "Why thank you Mr. President. I like to think I'm one part practiced folksy , one part sassy and a little dash of high school bitchy."
FERRELL AS BUSH - "For a little while I was trying to be folksy but after a bit, it just came off douchey. All right, let me get into my endorsement for you as Vice President. As you know America, the office of Vice President is the most important office in the land. The Vice President decides when we go to war, how we tax the citizens and how we interpret the Constitution. The President can do nothing without checking with the Vice President. That is why Sarah Palin..."
FEY AS PALIN - "Actually, Mr. President, I don't want to go all Katie Couric on you, but I think it's actually the other way around. I think the Vice President reports to the President."
FERRELL AS BUSH - "Really? That's not what Dick Cheney told me when he sat me down on the first day."
The press could do better. NBC anchorman Brian Williams had a chance to ask Palin about her "little shoppin'" spree, but chose not to. But here is a group of comedy writers and performers not only riffing on it, but putting it in the context of her look-at-me/look-at-me personality. (She did all but elbow her running mate, John McCain out of the camera shot during the interview with Williams to the point where I was watching a political remake of A Star is Born.)
And SNL nailed it all like no one -- not even the savviest, smartest and snarkiest political columnists -- has this week.
SNL's live primetime Weekend Update Thursday ended its run last night. I will miss it. But what a service to democracy it provided.
And you know what, John McCain? If you hadn't gotten smitten with Palin in the first place, you just might have won this thing. You put her on the ballot to excite the red-meat "kill him, he's an arab terrorist" crowd, but you instead sent any and all independent voters (and what's left of the moderate Republicans) in droves over to the Obama-Biden ticket.
And for what? The angry white males would have voted for you anyway -- I mean, where were they going to go?
So, you -- a 72 year old man who had already dumped your first wife for a young blonde rodeo queen -- lose your last chance at the White House because you looked across the room and exclaimed, "I want THAT girl!"
And you know what else, Senator McCain?
In retrospect, Marlo Thomas would have made a much better choice.