In these columns, I have taken over as the owner/GM of your NBA franchise.  Herein I suggest personnel (player, coach, and management) and coaching changes that will take your franchise to the next level, moving from losing to winning and winning to winning big.  I have taken all salary and free agency information from HoopsHype.com, draft information from foxsports.com, and basketball statistics from ESPN.com.  Where applicable, I used the trade checker on RealGM.com.

I'll be as generous as possible in describing this team: they are a pathetic abomination.  Record-wise, they were worst in the NBA this season.  Statistically speaking, they were even worse - dead last in points, point differential, 3point defense, free throw percentage, rebounding percentage, opponent's offensive rebounds, defensive rebounds, and total rebounds.  In every other statistical category, they were average or usually much worse. 

Zack Randolph and Darius Miles both expressed desires to play elsewhere.  Owner Paul Allen is finally realizing what a colossal waste of money his expenditures have been heavily investing in unworthy players (isn't Shawn Kemp still on their payroll?) and has relinquished ownership of the arena so he doesn't have to pay the penalties for the losses (that's money he needs to buy the rest of the Pacific Northwest.   Ask me some time about his damn streetcar he wants Seattle to build for him.)  They fired a sub-par GM with no apparent successor.  Nate McMillan coaching this team bereft of talent is like Francis Ford Coppola directing the Jackass sequel.  Portland fans, once the most loyal and loudest in the NBA for many years, have left, alienated by the bumbling management of their once-beloved team.  How do you fix a team with no GM and the owner and players looking to hit the eject button?

Solutions

Follow the Nuggets' pattern.  This pattern can be boiled down to a few parts: trade everybody who makes more than the coach and get draft picks, followed by signing reasonably-priced free agents.  In the Blazers' case, trade everybody who makes more than the assistant coaches (Nate is well-paid) except Randolph - I'll make the case for my exception later.  The Blazers have no money this summer for free agents - you have no idea what a good thing this is.  They shouldn't use the mid-level exception either, especially since it probably puts them into luxury-tax territory.  But in summer 2007 they become players in free agency as far as the cap is concerned, so they must not only make moves to not stifle that, but to enhance that.  The Blazers would be wise to read on.

Do like the Raptors and shove a pile of money in front of a proven GM.  Stealing Bryan Colangelo was a fantastic move for the Canadians.  The only GMs I'd open the vault for are R.C. Buford, Joe Dumars, Rod Thorn, Jerry West, and Geoff Petrie.  Dumars is a Piston for life or until the owner decides he hates winning and his fans and fires him.  Buford is leading a relatively pressure-free life out of the spotlight with a perennial championship contender with arguably the best player and coach in the league.  Jerry West is about to sail off into the sunset with his gazillion trophies and there's ample evidence he's lost it a little bit.  That leaves the Blazers with Petrie and Thorn.  Both have limited resources to work with but both took terrible teams to conference finals.  Neither GM has historical or familial ties to their respective teams.  And who the hell wants to work out of Sacramento or New Jersey?  See if either one is attainable.  If not, hire a disciple of one of the guys listed above.  If Kevin Pritchard was the guy, why haven't they hired him?  Is his handling of the draft a final exam? 

Get rid of Darius Miles and Travis Outlaw.  "Addition by subtraction" comes to mind.  Assuming these guys aren't in jail, trade them as soon as possible.  Are you still waiting for Miles to blossom?  How about his six years in the league with his rebounding average declining every year of his career?  Perhaps you're impressed by his career shooting percentages from three-point line (16.8%) or the free throw line (58.6%)?  Maybe you dig his high turnover rate and low assist and rebounding numbers.  What do you call the #3 overall pick in the draft who can't shoot, can't pass, can't defend, can't rebound, and is a black hole of good feelings on his team?  Hint: it starts with "B" and ends with "ust".  I don't even want to list Outlaw's stats lest he find out where I live.

To solve this problem, Portland must capitalize on the stupidity of other teams; in this case, I'll use the Knicks, the dumbest team in the NBA.  It's almost too easy, especially given Isaiah's alleged coveting of Miles.  Given that Isaiah loves big men and loves Miles, I've concocted a megatrade that will give him what he wants and for the Blazers clears cap space and brings in players the fans will love.  Portland sends Theo Ratliff, Darius Miles, Travis Outlaw, and Brian Skinner for Jalen Rose, Malik Rose, and Nate Robinson.  Here's why Portland makes this trade:

Ratliff: He's finished.  As a former owner of Theo in fantasyland, I can attest his game is blocking shots and some rebounds with pretty much nothing else.  His shot-blocking attempts often come at the expense of proper rebounding position, thus reducing his defensive impact.  Miles and Outlaw: Bad seeds and in the case of Miles, vastly overrated potential.  If references to leaping ability were MVP votes, Miles would have matched Jordan by now.  But he plays basketball, which unfortunately for him includes elements other than trying to dunk.  Skinner: Completely replaceable game and he'll want bigger dollars when his contract is up.   Jalen Rose: He might as well change his name to "Cap Space."  Jalen gives you some versatility position-wise and he wears great suits.  Malik Rose: Malik is a very good defender who can guard several positions.  He's a little overpaid, but his work ethic, energy, and professionalism will have a positive impact on teammates and endear him to fans.  Nate Robinson:  You bring him in to change the pace of the game and keep defenses guessing.  However, the real reason you bring him in: he will put butts in seats.  He won the dunk contest and he already has a following in the Pacific Northwest, so he will bring in desperately needed dollars.  Factor in that he's on his rookie contract, he's not making much money on a short deal, Robinson is a small risk to take.

If the megatrade doesn't work out, just offer Miles for Malik Rose and Nate Robinson.  Malik brings championship experience and would instantly become one of the team's better free throw shooters while Robinson brings flair and excitement to an otherwise dead Rose Garden.

Let Voshon Lenard go.  Resign Przybilla, but don't go nuts.  Lenard has apparently employs the trainer hired by Marcus Camby, Ken Griffey Jr., and Fred Taylor.  At this point all he brings is his waning three-point shot and a guarantee he'll miss a good chunk of the season.  Przybilla is a good defender with excellent per 40 minute numbers in rebounding and shotblocking, but he's not one you open the vault for.  He's a terrible free-throw shooter but at least has good shot selection on the floor at 54.8%.  But he seems to have hired Lenard's trainer too: six years into the league and he has yet to play more than 76 games, appearing in 58% of a possible 492 games.  Big men tend to get overpaid (Kwame Brown, Rasho Nesterovic, Jerome James - hell, even Macej Lampe) so the Blazers must be careful not to jeopardize the future for a guy they can't build a team around.

Bring in John Lucas.  This is one addition to the coaching staff I would open the wallet big-time for.  Not only does half the league train with him in Houston in the offseason, he has revolutionized rehabilitation in the NBA.  He helps players overcome physical ailments, but Lucas has a gift in helping people heal emotionally and psychologically.  Steve Francis was an All-Star starter under John's tutelage whereas now he is an overpaid pariah.  The main reason I bring Lucas in is to mentor Zach Randolph, not just because he's pretty much untradeable, but because I seriously believe Randolph can be a star in this league.  He's nearly a 20-10 guy and he has flashes of dominance, first evidenced by the way he destroyed the competition during summer league as a rookie and sophomore.  Zach is a troubled man and with the guidance of Lucas in things basketball and life, he would be an all-star.  Lucas would be a nice counter to McMillan's hard-driving personality, giving the players someone on the coaching staff who could act as a sounding board.  Hiring a big-man specialist like Patrick Ewing or Hakeem Olajuwon would be beneficial, but John Lucas would have a therapeutic effect on that fractured team.

Regarding Martell Webster: get him lifting weights, play him in the summer leagues as the #1 option on offense, and tell him to go to the hole.  I am a big fan of Webster.  Still young, he needs meat on those bones, probably fifteen pounds or so.  While admittedly is was in less than 20 minutes per game, he only took 71 free throws last year, a waste for a guy so athletic and who shoots at 86% from the charity stripe.  Go to the hole, Martell.  With some experience in the summer leagues being The Guy, that confidence can translate to the regular season.  Webster starting getting pretty good over the course of the season - check his pre- and post- All-Star numbers and his per 48 minute numbers.  Within a few years, he'll more than justify his high draft pick.

If you can, draft Lamarcus Aldridge or Brandon Roy.  If you can't, settle for Adam Morrison.  More than anything, Portland should draft somebody the alpha player from a program that wins big.  All three of my recommendations come from schools that have had some success in the NCAAs and have won their conferences.  Experienced players from winning environments do all they can to win.  I'll use the Chicago Bulls as a template: drafting the two high-schoolers Chandler and Curry, the Bulls floundered and now Chandler comes off the bench and Curry is a Knick; they bring in Hinrich (Kansas), Deng (Duke), Gordon (UConn), Duhon (Duke), and Nocioni (gold-medal winning Argentina national team).  With tons of cap room and loads of young, talented, and winning-oriented players, the Bulls are already a playoff team with a very bright future.  In the meantime, the Blazers have drafted three high-schoolers and brought in/resigned grossly overpriced players with no leadership skills (Ratliff, Miles).  Start stocking up on winners.  Roy is probably the most complete player in the draft and is a McMillan-type of player.  He would bring size to that small backcourt and could even play some point.  Morrison will bring some much-needed offense and would put butts in seats; both Morrison and Roy already have a following in the region.  Aldridge would bring low-post and mid-range offense and plenty of rebounding with solid defense.

Conclusion

There isn't one move or even a couple moves that will make the Blazers a playoff team in the next couple years, so they have to accomplish three things: get rid of the losers, bring in players who play to win, and bring back the fans by putting on the court hardworking guys who are respectful and fun.  To do this, they must shed albatross contracts and personalities (Ratliff, Miles, Outlaw) and make every move with an eye toward winning and flexibility.