As we all know by now, whether it piques your interest or not, the Olympics are in full swing. Personally, I am a big fan of the Olympics, sadly track and field has lost its luster, and it used to be one of my favorite groups of events. This year though, swimming, and the intrigue of Chinese gymnasts and the Redeem Team have filled in quite nicely for track.

      That is definitely one of the great characteristics of the Olympic Games; there is never a shortage of events to capture our attention...there is always a story to follow, an inspirational athlete, or something new that have never seen before. Does anyone else tune into one of the NBC affiliates, covering the Games, only to find an event that makes you say "THAT is in the Olympics?!"

       Aside from the obvious, more popular events like basketball, baseball, soccer, track, volleyball, and so on, there are tons of obscure sports, seemingly fit only for recreational purposes. Such events as Table Tennis (aka Ping Pong), Archery (aka darts [just kidding]), badminton (that's entertainment value lies only in its featured piece of equipment known as the shuttlecock), handball (which I kinda like), and fencing (don't Trekkies play this?), are all official Olympic events.

       Now don't get me wrong, the participants in each of these sports would probably rock my world in their respective sport, but it troubles me that at some point, members of the IOC thought that these events warranted approval as official Olympic events. Most of these are things you can play in the common area of a dorm room, in somebody's back yard, or in P.E. in elementary school. I was the king of Jennings Hall my freshman year in Ping....er...I mean "Table Tennis."

       So I got to thinking (I know what you're thinking, "Here we go again") if the IOC would approve such events, what other events should be added as well? After all, if Trekkies can be Olympic Gold Medalists, why should other ordinary citizens of the world who have mastered useless skills not have a similar opportunity? Now usually when "I get to thinking" I make a list of some sort; why would you think this'd be any different? Here is a list conceived when my thinking met my inner-genius, mated, and had a baby; the result...a list of some really cool, and not-so-cool events that the IOC should consider adding for the London Games in 2012:

Auto Racing: Honestly, I cannot understand why this has not happened yet-certainly NASCAR style of driving in ovals (never understand when people say circles) would not suffice, plus NASCAR is pretty exclusive to America. What I propose is a multi-stage event, with the best drivers in the world representing their respective countries as teams (a la Tour de France). Each stage would feature a different type of car; each would be driven on intricate street courses throughout London (or whatever the relevant city may be). This will show versatility in drivers, and allow everyone to have a decent chance. Of course that can be made the 'All-Around' medal, and there could be individual, specialty races as well-for example stock car, open-wheel, etc.

Kickball: Come on, this could be great...no contained space though; it has to be like in Phys Ed when the big boy would come up and kick the air out of the ball and it'd fly overhead and keep rolling for days-nothing but open field. Even more entertaining would be seeing someone get pegged in the back of the head from point blank range by the opposing team while running the bases; the very thought of it makes me laugh.

Slow-Pitch Softball: For those of you scoffing at this, I say, what is the difference between softball and beach volleyball? Some people take their slow-pitch softball teams VERY seriously. Plus, it is a totally different game than baseball, and there are actually semi-professional teams with sponsorship and all. You know it'd be great, instead of a Gatorade cooler, they can have a keg in the dugout on the bench. There can be all-men teams, and coed teams as well.

Dodgeball: See the movie, it's pretty funny (aka stupid). Seriously though, dodgeball is a serious, contact sport; I can picture it, teams would cheat by putting sticky substances on their hands and arms to improve their ability to catch the balls. The cameras have an ultra slow-mo feature to show someone getting smacked in the face with a ball. Lets face it, watching a bunch of grown adults playing dodgeball with extreme intensity is beyond entertaining, it's hilarious.

Flag Football: Ever heard of Let it Fly? Every year, all across the country people play flag football in intramural leagues and organized tournaments like Let it Fly. The game of flag football is pretty complex. It is a real challenge to find that one indefensible play...and run it over, and over, and over again. You know those crazy pitch plays you always see on the Espy's year in and year out, which last like 10 minutes and end in a score? Picture something like that every play, and you have flag football.

Foosball: No, not FOOTBALL, Foosball. I used to use my Foosball table as an oracle of sorts, to predict World Cup winners when I was just a small boy-they were always wrong, and I never followed the outcomes, as I would usually pick Brazil over the table's New Zealand or Albania picks. In all seriousness though, have you ever played someone REALLY good at it? You just want to reach over the table and grab them by the shirt collar every time you hear that loud clank of a goal, and watch them arrogantly stand up and change the score with a flick of the wrist...never mind, scratch this one!

3-on-3 Half Court Basketball: WOW, this would be great. Imagine, the US could put multiple combinations out there, and we can see a final like Deron Williams-Kobe Bryant-Amare Stoudemire vs. Dwyane Wade-LeBron James-Carmelo Anthony. Spain could have a nice team in Ricky Rubio-Rudy Fernandez-Pau Gasol. I feel like this would quell many formerly unanswerable debates about who's better than who.

100-Meter Back Peddle: Anyone can run forward, let's see if Usain Bolt can break 10 second running backwards! Besides, with the exception of football, both American and international, why the hell do they make us learn to back peddle? At least this would give it a little more purpose in this lonely world. Right now, the Olympics discriminate against backwards runners and this has to change.

Poker: I don't promote or agree with gambling, but I bet you a million dollars this would be a hit. It'd actually be a responsible move to make poker have an appeal that is not motivated by making a quick buck. There can be world championships and Olympics, with no buy in, just qualifying tournaments. Personally, I loved to play poker (can't no more, can't handle gambling), but the problem is, it has no appeal unless the chips are worth something-making it medal worthy gives people a chance to win world-wide recognition without risking their rent money.

Golf: What?! Yes. I mean, it has become such a big event since Tiger has joined the fray, quite frankly I do not understand why it has not become an Olympic event. I probably wouldn't watch it, but in my opinion, golfers should have a chance at a medal if Ping Pong and Badminton players do. Besides, the Ryder Cup is probably one of the more interesting tournaments because of it's format, and the Olympics could have a similar format for team (by country), plus an individual tournament.

Air Hockey: Would this be for the Winter Olympics? I would say no, since there is no ice, so let's proceed. It takes superb hand-eye coordination, and conditioned neck muscles to keep up with the zig-zagging puck as it is hammered back and forth. The game would have to last longer than it does in arcades though, there is something about the games ending so soon that is unfulfilling-I always feel like I could've won with a few more chances. No baby-sitting the goal slot will be allowed...there will be sensors put in place that will call for a penalty shot if the little hand thing stays in the same spot for too long.

       These are just a few of the babies from the litter my genius and my thinking produced, but trust me, there are more. How about a vote on which event YOU would like to see, or even a few suggestions? Whatever gets the most votes, for that event I will draft a petition to add the event, to be sent to the IOC for consideration. I am crazy enough to actually send it too, so let's have some fun with this!