He had labored in the service of the Minnesota Twins for six years. And then he was unceremoniously released. So David Ortiz took a walk deep into the northern Minnesota woods. It was December of 2002.

Within an hour he came upon a Hobbit. The Hobbit looked like Jesse Ventura and had a voice like Howard Cosell. The Hobbit said to Ortiz, "That which you are seeking is here." Ortiz was surprised, but figured, "Hey, it's Minnesota. How weird is this, really?"

The Hobbit said, "My name is Sport. I am the Hobbit of the forest. Anyone from the sports world who finds me is granted athletic prowess. You might have heard of Rulon Gardner, the wrestler from the 2000 Olympics? He found me in 1998 and I granted him the ability to beat someone who hadn't lost in 13 years. For some reason he went looking for my cousin, Vinny, in the Wyoming wilderness. That didn't work out too well, but that's another story entirely."

Ortiz stared at the Hobbit for a long time, wondering if this could actually be real. Finally, he said, "All right, what do I have to do to get this athletic superiority?" The Hobbit replied, "Simply take this ax, and chop down this tree. Bring the wood to Louisville and have some bats made. Those bats will be your secret weapon to immortality."

Though he thought that this Hobbit had seen The Natural one too many times, Ortiz decided to do as he was told. He chopped down the tree and prepared to drag the wood back through the forest. Then the Hobbit spoke to him one last time, saying, "Rulon's success was world-renowned, but who pays attention to wrestling? I tried to make Peyton Manning the greatest, most clutch football player of all time, but he started calling his own plays not long after he found me. So no Super Bowl glory for him. It's time for the Hobbit to make the biggest mark on the world of Sports yet. Tell me, David, what would be the ultimate achievement for a baseball player in this day and age? Your answer will determine how great your powers will be."

Ortiz thought long and hard. There was the home run record, but with Barry Bonds hitting 73 the previous season, folks were growing a little tired of the whole chase. No one had hit .400 since 1941, but that didn't seem big enough. Then it finally hit him. There was only one achievement that would make him an international superstar.

"Being the best clutch hitter on the World Champion Boston Red Sox," Ortiz said. "That would be the ultimate achievement."

The Hobbit responded, "You are indeed wise, and worthy of this power. It shall be as you say."

Two weeks ago I was called everything from a hypocrite to a heroin addict to a Communist. Why? Because I dared question who was and wasn't on steroids in Major League Baseball (The Steroid Free All-Star Team). These false accusations all hurt, of course, but the other responses to that piece hurt even more. They were from my family and friends-all Red Sox fans-who assumed that I thought that David Ortiz was on steroids.

Let's start with a little background, and try this from an objective vantage point. David Ortiz hit .266 with 58 home runs and 238 RBIs in 455 games with the Twins. With the Red Sox, he has hit .293 with 151 home runs and 478 RBIs in 529 games. On the one hand, he's got Manny Ramirez hitting behind him and great table setters in front of him. Also, his stats in Minnesota were spread over six years, because he wasn't a full-time player. On the other hand, his dramatically increased power numbers would make any non-Red Sox fan question just what in the name of Barry Bonds is going on.

So, do I think Ortiz is using something? No. I hope not, anyway. Just like I hope Albert Pujols isn't. Or any other big name superstar. I long for the days when we can just talk about a guy's stats-and not worry about his weight, increased muscle mass, or the size of his head.

The great thing about David Ortiz is that he's one of the game's best ambassadors right now. While Manny was being Manny and skipping the entire All-Star experience, there was Big Papi participating in the Home Run Derby and being available to the media and fans. He played first base-something he only does during Interleague play or the World Series-and saved Alex Rodriguez from making a throwing error.

Add to this that he has become one of the greatest clutch hitters in the history of the game. I know that the new wave of baseball statheads don't believe clutch hitting exists, but as one of the local Boston radio talk show hosts said one day, "Maybe they should watch a game once in a while." What made the A-Rod vs. Ortiz debate for MVP last year so silly is that everyone who watched the two of them on a semi-consistent basis could have answered the "Who would you rather have up in the bottom of the 9th with the game on the line" question in a heartbeat. Of course, it's Ortiz. And isn't that a huge value measurement? How many game-winning hits and home runs will it take for people to ignore the fact that he's "just" a DH?

At the end of the day, whether it was a Hobbit in the woods or just plain hard work that has made Big Papi who he is, I'm happily along for the ride. And you know what? I changed my mind. He can join my steroid-free team as the DH.

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