Having recently written a post on Floyd Landis and questions that I think Stephen Colbert would ask, I decided to do another post where I basically interview Michelle Wie from Colbert's perspective.  Here is the ensuing conversation.

SC:   Welcome to the Colbert Nation, and may I say you look lovely in those golf   outfits.  I understand you signed two high profile endorsement deals with Nike and Sony.  Is that why Sony invites you to the Sony Open each year in January to play against the men?

MW:  I would like to think that they invite me because I am a good golfer.

SC:  That would be nice to think, but as a "good" golfer, how many tournaments have you won?

MW:  Well, I really have never won as a professional, but I have won an amateur tournament once when I was 13, three years ago.

SC:  So let me get this straight.  You have never won as a professional and you won once three years ago in an amateur tournament.  I guess that proves they aren't inviting you because of your wins.  So tell me one more time why they should let you play in men's tournaments on the PGA?

MW:  Well I bring a lot of viewers to the tournament.  I sell tickets because people want to see me play. 

SC:  Watching you play in those short skirts, I can see why the "viewer ship" increases, but that is only for Thursday and Friday, right?

MW:  So far, but I hope to make the cut one day.

SC:  So your goal is to make the cut, not win?

MW:  Of course I hope to win, but I have to first make a cut.  I did make the cut at the Korean Tour for men.

SC:  Oh that's right that is the same tournament Se Ri Pak made the cut in three years earlier, only no one was talking about it then even though she finished 10th.  Do you enjoy losing?  I mean, you keep playing against the men hoping to make the cut.  That has to be tough on you emotionally.

MW:  I am really playing well right now and then when I play against the women, I have taken 2^nd twice this year.

SC:  How does that feel, I mean coming in second all the time? 

MW:  Well, I am really playing well, (starts to cry)....and as long as I am hitting it solidly,

SC:  It's okay Michelle.  We here at the Colbert Nation are rooting for you.  Really, we would love to see you win any tournament.  Heck, we would love to see you go to college and destroy all of those other girls, but I guess since you turned pro, that is out of the question.  Don't worry; we will invite you back when you win a tournament so that you can answer all of your critics.

SoCalSportsFan

*Once again this is not the real work of Stephen Colbert, but I can see him asking Michelle Wie these questions should he ever invite her onto his show.*