When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the starting QB bonds which have connected them with another receiver, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of bloggers requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation from the rest of the division.

(If you don't know the source obtuse paragraph , please don't vote in November.)

Start singing now...

Backup QB Jones, I got Backup QB Jones
Got Backup Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-oo

Yes, I am the victim of a Backup QB Jones
Ever since I was a little baby, I always be throwing behind the receiver
In fac', I was de passer in the whole neighborhood
Then one day, my mama bought me a football
And I loved that football
I took that football with me everywhere I went
That football was like a football to me

I even put that football underneath my pillow
Maybe that's why I can't sleep at night
I need help, ladies and gentlemens
I need someone to stand beside me
I need, I need someone to set a screen for me at the line of life
Someone I can pass to
Someone to hit the open man on the hook and ladder
And not end up in the popcorn machine
So cheerleaders, help me out

{cheerleaders sing repeatedly...}
(football Jones, I got a football Jones)
(I got a football Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo)

{while Tyrone Shoelaces sings/speaks...}
Oh, that sounds so sweet
Sing it out
C'mon Coach Booty, Red Blazer, sing along with me
That be bad, h-onky
Yeah
I want everybody in the whole stadium to stand up and sing with us
Oh yeah, sing it out like you're proud
All right, everybody watchin' coast-to-coast, sing along with us
Tony Romo, sing along with us
Jerry Jones, sing along with us
JokersWild, don't sing nothin'

Oh, it feels so good
Gimme the ball
I'll go down the field, against the world, left-handed
I could force it from the pocket with my toes
I could jump on top of the pocket, take off a quarter, leave fifteen cents change I
could, I could pitch behind my back I got more moves than Ex-Lax I'm bad I could
pass with my tongue Here I go down the field, try to stop me You can't stop me 'cause I
got a football Jones Here I come That's shovel pass with my eyebrow Yeah, I could
dunk it with my nose I'm, I'm bad as King Kong, gimme the ball I'm hot, I'm hot as...,
I'm hot as..., I'm hot as... uh Uh, uh, uh, uh...

Any team losing their starting QB will break the fans' hearts.  Rarely does a backup step in and succeed.  The few that do soon have a hot, model/actress girlfriend who's jumping on the bandwagon and new starter.

Get out your forks, the Cowboys are slow cooking and will be served with a nice brownsugar based barbeque sauce.

Next up, Lisa H and the the USC Song Girls will lead us in "I got a pinkie for sale" to the tune of the Talking Heads - "I got love for sale."

Once upon a time, there was a concept called a climactic playoff chase.

Then the White Sox and Twins happened, THE END.

Earlier this week the Sox and Twins gave us a great taste of the A.L. Central playoff chase.  The Twinkies swept the Sox and left us waiting for the final series against the tomato can Royals** and Indians.

Then the mouse roared.  The Twins lost the first two against K.C. and the Indians are giving the ChiSox a nice S&M beat down.

I LOVE the end of the MLB season.  Pick your cliche and use it.

That's why they play the games.

Every game counts.

It ain't over till it's over...

The Pac Ten is overrated.  Whoops, wrong post.

**Don't hate me. I'm a fan of the Royals and small franchise mediocrity.

I was beyotched at  because I wasn't watching Florida dismantle the overrated Tennessee squad this afternoon.

I'm watching the Ryder Cup and haven't cut away to College Football.  Sure, it seems like this golf event is made for TV, but it's an old school event that features the best of the best.

Viewers who only watched the Friday's last five holes of J.B. Holmes and Boo Weekley against the Euros got their moneys worth.  I love watching these red-necks go against the hoity-toity Euros.  Fist pumps and stare down are good television.

How can you not love a sports event where a commentator says, "That's not a good hole location for a hooker!"  Hey now.  That's gonna leave a mark.

The 2008 Ryder Cup is being played at Valhalla in Louisville.  I didn't mention the state, because if you don't know it's Kentucky, you shouldn't be on the WWW! 

The Ryder Cup is an every other year event played played since 1926.  It's U.S. vs. Euros.  The best of the best go head to head in multiple golf formats.  The event features 28 matches and 14.5 points wins the trophy.

Consider this the World Cup of golf.  Shots are amazing as the squads are filled with dudes who earned their place on the teams.  Time for another Natty Light.   George Bush senior is the U.S. ambassador for the Ryder Cup.  The matches are filled with galleries including celebrity golfer wanna-be former athletes.  I've seen MJ too many times this afternoon.  Ah yes, this is the only time you'll see smack talking and evil stares in golf with out someone named Woods.  Good Times!  College Football can wait till tonight.

(After the matches were final.

The U.S. won the competition.  Still, the viewers won due to fantastic shot making on drives, approaches and putts.  The Ryder Cup is distinct in its format since golf is not a team sport.  I feel I missed nothing by boycotting CFB and the NFL for part of Saturday and Sunday.)  We now resume football season.

Here's what's been popping into my little brain the past few days.

1a) CBB-NBA  - Kansas had the rep as the white bread college basketball program.  A while back a daily sports show lead-in mentioned a NBA rookie and ganja.  Immediately, I thought I'd won the 'Beasley busted for pot' lottery!  Nope, it was a couple NBA rooks from Kansas.  Gasp!  The reason the Wizard of Oz didn't want us to pull back the curtain was because a big pile of fatties was back there.  Party on Wayne!   Hey, these guys weren't even caught WITH maryjane!  They were merely suspected.  Of course, running into the can and flushing several times is normal for a couple dudes to do together, isn't it?  The team that shares together, stays together.

1b) NCAA FB -  Beanie will play, won't play, will play, won't play...excuse me while I throw up.  Is this 3rd grade?   What's up with too darn many of the 'everyones'** calling Ohio State ,OSU, all over the place.  While growing up, OSU meant Oklahoma State.  To others it means Oregon State.  At the same time, we know the 'U' means home of gun toting felons.

2) NBA - Kobe posts in the Blog NBA section.  Good god, does anyone else play in the NBA?  The legion of Kobe's sycophant, wannabe friends is scary.  For the record, Mamba did NOT jump over the sports car in the YOUTUBE video; Kobe did attempt to jump a Colorado concierge.

3) MLB - Cy Young Award.  Cliff Lee!  We talkin' Cliff Lee?  His first name is really Cy, but goes by he Cliff.  Playing for a losing team and still cranking out +20 wins against two losses is amazing!  Guess who has the lowest ERA, too.    Sorry K-Rod, you're a reliever on a team that plays too many close games.  That's how you've been in so many save situations.  

4) Kansas @ South Florida -    This morning a South Florida graduate/friend called to ask about hurricane Ike in Texas and Friday night's game.  Man, how the CFB landscape is changing.  Warm weather, high population states are starting to take over CFB.  (When asked about his South Florida jersey, the response was, "I don't have any South Florida clothes."  It figures.)

5) CFB-NFL  - Austin, Texas...don't drink the water.  What's up with the stud Texas players once in the pros?  The over-reporting on Vince Young may show a troubled young man.  The recent sports lead-ins mention suicide and a handgun.  Yikes.  This story is just getting fired up.   Ricky Williams and his ganja soap opera has slowed; his recent play had Miami give him a contract extension.  Ced Benson.  Remember him?  This Chicago Bear was busted for BUI-Boating Under the Influence.  T-sip loyalists came out and made rude, lewd, crude and abusive comments at anyone who questioned Ced's actions.  "It was a set-up."  Add the following DUI and poof, Cedric is gone from the NFL and so are the blind bloggers who loved the dude.

6) Tom Brady's Knee. - How has this not been an ESPN sports ticker category.  He's out for the season, so it's like he's dead.  Shaddup already!

7) CFB Predict The Score Blogs - No, the blogs are great subjects.  The homer responses are too predictable.  Go to an Ohio State blogger's blog and you'll see it loaded with Ohio State fans who all predict a win.  What, you guys think mini-Ditka is suiting up for the nuts?

That's it.  I'm out of time.   Lisa H and the USC song girls will now lead us in My Sharona.

 **Per the B&O/JokersWild/SteveoInHTown spelling class, I may make schizznit words up where needed...because I'm an artist.

I can't take it any more and needed to vent about what's making me turn off the Olympics.  Things driving me nuts are:

 1) Bob Costas

 If he says, "LIVE" again, I'll puke.  Someone on FoxSports has stated the same thing about Bobby!  I think he's the offspring of a frickin' gopher and locust.  Every so often he shows up and annoys us.  Thank God he doesn't do NFL games.

 2) Chinese Gymnasts

 Olympic gymnasts must be 16 to participate.  These kids still have baby teeth and Hello Kitty t-shirts.  No one is fooled.

 Who did their birth certificates, a Dominican baseball coach?

 3) Olympic Beach Volleyball

 There's not enough of it!  Do NOT show dudes again!

 4) Gymnastic Judges

 Apparently the East German and French figure skating judges are now doing women's gymnastics.

 Oh, if a competition isn't head to head or against the clock, it's an activity, not a sport.  Judges are political tools.

 5) NBC

 The network is China's lap dog.  The show is an infomercial for the Red Menace.   Nice hard hitting, personal interest stories about TEA make me puke.  Point out the gulags built by the Russkies for Mao's bad boys.  Wanna buy a smog face mask?  Whoops, can't show those either.

 6) Chinese Olympic Committee/Politbureau

 You may have noticed some strange things during the Opening Ceremonies.  I did and screamed, "Bullshad!" immediately.

 It seems the sneaks used computer generated graphics to phony up what you saw on the screen.  To make it worse, some politicians decided that the little kid scheduled to sing a song wasn't cute enough!  They pulled a Milli Vanilli and had a better looking kid lip synch.  Seems the US is having an influence on China!

 7) Medal Trackers

 I don't see this as country by country competition.  Some countries are better at given activities.  That's the way it is.

 I watch to see the best, especially without corrupt judges deciding results in advance.

8) Russia

 Nice timing there, Putin.  You invaded Georgia, during the Opening Ceremonies.  You've been busted for killing journalists and attempting to kill heads of state.  The Hague should be in your future.  (Left wing liberal pukes need not add their anti-Bush slants.)

 9) Not enough hottie shots

 I keep seeing writeups about all the cheer squads(code for  babes) at sports venues.  Hey NBC, where are these lovelies.   Since Ana Ivanovic withdrew, the hotness factor has dropped.

 10) Brett Favre

 Why him?  It took the Olympics to move this drama queen off the hourly sports intro.  Stop the tabloid reporting.  I don't need made up items reported as fact.  Now, where are those cheerleaders?

Bonus

11) The US Olympic Committee

Mark Spitz was hosed by the USOC.  Instead of bringing Spitz over for the games, we're forced to hear the announcer insert a Spitz comment into every sentence containing Michael Phelps.  This was handled poorly, which isn't a shock.  Maybe the Chinese can use some more CGI to drop Spitz into the crowd!