What did it take to knock Brett FarveFavre off the sports page!

It took all the media pundits in love with Vick's balling skills, that's what.

Far more of us want Vick out of the league in 2009.

There's nothing in the Bill of Rights that guarantees a roster spot in the NFL.   I'm right because I checked the copy on my bicep.

The whiny kiddies scream for Vick's reinstatement just don't get it.  Try curling up next to a dog or cat for a few hours.   If you don't have one as a roommate, borrow one.  The honest and sincere hugs a human receives from the four-legged crowd can't be faked.

Why does 'doing your time' automatically qualify you for NFL sainthood?  Being involved in organized, interstate crime should be a lifetime suspension.  Shoeless Joe Jackson was never proven to cheat, yet he's still ineligible for the Hall of Fame.  Guilt by association matters and Vick was the lowlife in charge of the association.  Gitmo anyone?

Guess what! If your employer finds out you've been busted for a FELONY, you're fired and when you get out of the slammer, you don't get your old job back.  That's reality for those of us who have a clue, pay taxes and get up to go to a job we no longer love.  Reality bites and so does Vick.

NO VICK in 2009!

Who said this: "I can do whatever I want and y'all still gonna love me?"   You know!

Ok, why do so many people hate on Tony Romo?

Could it be jealousy?  Ok, I live in north Texas and have watched this cool cat for a few years.  No, I'm a Vikes fan and C'boys tolerator.   Romo has a future in the NFL booth.  He's calm, collected and can form a complete sentence, unlike far too many in the league. (It would be nice to win a playoff game...hint, hint.) Is Romo out committing crimes, getting numerous skanks pregnant, tattooing his face, twising the heads off kittens? No, No, No and NO!

So Romo dated a ditzy blonde!  The only problem with that is the number of dudes that are jealous.  Still we wonder how far he did get and if the boat Simpson gave Tony is really worth squat.  It may be pawned soon.

Romo was recently badmouthed by an ESPN paid fool.  Why?  Tony can play more than one sport and actually enjoys and plays tournament golf.  GASP!  "Romo should be at work tossing passes to his newest WR!"  Yeah right!  Why don't you put down the buffet fork and exercise yourself, media dude.  Sometimes media pukes completely phone in their stories and bore us to the point of hiring a hitman.  Many of you readers and writers are better than the hack media who's on a quota for backstabbing.

Would a Cowboys fan or Jerry Jones prefer that Romo play golf or ride a motorcycle like the Steelers QB?  No contest.

If you have the skills, do whatever you want and media be damned.

And now, it's beer thirty.

 With coolness channeled from a Scottish Highlander and a Paris cat burglar, Tom Watson stalked the course, gaining fans each day.  Who wouldn't cheer for their grandfather?  Everyone but Stewart Cink and family, that's who.

Tom Watson shocked everyone, especially the Tiger-centric media, by generating a playoff at the British Open. 

For this grand weekend, Watson grabbed the attention and adoration of the gallery, television fans and amazed media.  "What will we do now that you-know-who missed the cut!" screamed the media and front runner golf fans. 

At 59, Watson truly shocked the world, a phrase greatly overused, yet finally appropriate, without winning, but by surviving to the playoff.

Yes, Watson would have been a wonderfully 'experienced' champion.   The overuse of "geezer" and ABC's ability to show more commercials than shots was tiring.

Watson succeeded without cursing, club throwing, pouting or general 2-year-old actions. 

Watson's play was magnified by his ability to keep the ball on the fairway and drain long putts on rounds one thru three. 

Watson bogeyed away the lead on the 18^th as his ten foot putt yakked right and the tournament went to a four hole playoff with Stewart Cink. 

Playoff action:  The British Open playoff is the aggregate score from four holes, the 5^th, 6^th, 17^th and 18^th.  This uses the close proximity of the holes and three different par levels. 

The Open effectively ended on the 17^th as Watson's tee shot stayed left and it took Watson two shots to get out of the three foot tall rough. 

No one could have stopped Cink with his magnificent play on these four playoff holes as he won by six strokes.  Can you feel a bit of empathy for both players?  Watson for losing and Cink for being the "Oh, please don't let him win" guy?

We can only think of how Watson will carry this, forever, knowing how close he was to the Claret Jug, on his last possible entry to the British Open.  Don't worry, be happy Tom.  You gained a legion of new fans and a story that will last as long as Old Tom Morris.

Ok, it's been a week of stupid.

There are so many items.

Josh Howard was elected to the All Star Game and he's been out for over a month.  Wait, I thought only Yankees and Sawks players got that automatic election.

Then Tiger Woods, ultimate media darling, recieved the ultimate reach-around from the 4-letter network...Tom Watson, who cares,doesn't get shown on tv cuz he's 59. Let's show every Woods shot into the bunker!  WTF!  We fans do care!  Show us the leaders, dammit.

Lance Armstrong had a flat tire and it wasn't a beer!  That ain't news!

My PC was infected and I was out of action for six days.  That's news, unless my name is Obama and I can't chuck a baseball over the plate!  ****!  Let's have another election now.

For the ump-teenth year, the NL lost the All Star game!  Shocking, unless you actually give Bud credit for helping make the game matter.  AL wins home field in the World Series!

Bobbie Bowden, please shaddup!  FSU has institutional control issues.  Give em the Death Penalty!   The entire Freshman class cheated on Music Masterpieces.

The USA Network has almost wrapped up the first half of Burn Notice!  Hey, they deserve credit.

T.O. opened his mouth again, this time to Ryan Seacrest(spelling)l, insert your own joke.

The British Open is captivating the males of the world this weekend, so ladies, go buy some lingerie and flout it after 2pm ET and you guy will buy you a new hutch.  I promise, or my name ain't Ethan Allen.

This just in Brett Favre just farted.  Story to follow at 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, etc. on Warts Center!

Things that make me go BLECH!

Today, the Tribune Company, agreed to sell the Chicago Cubs, Wrigley Field and a chunk of the regional cable franchise to...we have no idea! (Pending MLB's rubber stamp)

Last year, a white knight showed up, offering buckets of money and a bright future for the Cubs. His name was Mark Cuban, who we know as the vocal owner of the Dallas Mavericks. Cuban's mantra is: "What can I do to help the team win?" Way to go Tribune Company.

You've guaranteed the fans a mediocre future, since you sold to a money dude, not a sports fan interested in WINNING. Bring the goat onto the field now and excercise the Ghost-Of-Bartman.

***a day later:

The Cubs are being purchased by a new money family.  The Ricketts Family Trust will own the Cub(bies!).  Multiple news sources indicate that the leader of the clan, Tom, is a big Cubs fan.  This Husker transplant had better serve the fans or be prepared to be Bartmanized by the public.