Seven NBA Championship rings sum it up. 

     x 7  Can You Dig It!!!!!!

Robert Horry is the only non-Celtic, circa 1960, to earn 7 rings.

        EQUALS ?         

A classic big body defender, Horry cemented his reputation for the big shots, and was appropriately nicknamed Big Shot Bob.

NBA Championships:

Rockets - 94, 95

Lakers   - 2000, 2001, 2002  (Three Peat was my idea, I swear!)

Spurs - 2005, 2007

The bad news for your team is that Horry isn't ready to retire.  Face the facts, we all want players like Robert on our teams.  There aren't enough to go around.

Robert Horry, Version 2007, will be remembered for his mad hockey skills, putting Steve Nash into the boards during the West Conference Finals. (Weeeeeeeeeeee! A Canadian amusement park ride)

In the 2007 playoffs, Horry averaged 20 minutes, was seen clogging the clogging the defensive lane, and made timely blocks.

Like most success stories, Horry's NBA Championships almost never happened.    Horry was in a package trade with Detroit for Sean Elliot, who didn't pass the team physical and the trade was terminated.  Horry stayed a Rocket.  Horry signed with the Lakers for their Three-Peat and saved plenty of games with clutch shooting.  This is when he received his nickname, Big Shot Bob. Horry signed with San Antonio after the 2003 Championship and has been a winner and comsumate team player.  The rest is now NBA folklore.

Trivia:  A certain show business star is uncle to both Robert Horry and Cavs center, Anderson Varejao.

  Knowing this trivia fact should win a few bar bets.

This game was ugly.

Rosie Odonnell ugly,                           

Hillary in a ballcap ugly,                     

Tampa Bay Orange ugly,                  

Rosie Odonnell ugly, she gets two!  

The Spurs shot 41% and were out stunk by the Cavs, who shot 37% from the field.

The halftime score was 40-38, Spurs.  From there, it went down hill.

The 3rd Quarter featured a whopping 27 points and was appropriately sponsored by Acme Brick.

With four minutes remaining in the 3rd Quarter I was forced to put on a cup to avoid being hurt.    (Lisa, this is not a gas mask.)

In the end, the Spurs prevailed by surviving the 4th quarter, after building a 10 point lead.

Down 3-0, the Cavs have a greater chance of winning this series than Ana Nicole's 89 year-old groom had of consumating his marriage on his wedding night.

   Stick a fork in the Cavs, they're done!

  The real tragedy is that by failing to score 100, the Cavs deprived their fans of dinner.  Chalupa! Chalupa!

PETA called off its protest since no nets or rims were harmed during this game.

It was no surprise that the Spurs came out hot and motivated.

Cleveland acted like a bride on her wedding night and the Spurs made it happen.

Quarters 1-3 were a clinic on shooting by Manu Manu the Slender Ginoibil, blocking by Big Shot Bob and rebounding by Mr. Duncan.   LeBron went out early with two fouls and Popovich pulled starters at the same time.  The Spurs still increased the score.

It was a classic butt kicking, not likely to be on ESPN Classic.

The halftime score was the third highest margin in the history of the NBA Finals.

By the end of Q3, the Spurs jacked the lead to 27.

Suddenly in Q4, Cleveland replaced their starters, the Vienna Boys Choir and made it close.

That was, until Ginobili was fouled for a four point play with 1:30 remaining.  Cleveland's run to within eight points was over.

The game isn't worthy of a write up on Cleveland.

The network's ratings in the second half were probably dismal, like Cleveland's chances of winning the series.

2-0 Spurs.

Calgon take me away.             

It's time for a song.  Let's sing it together to the tune of The Brady Bunch.

                  Makes you wonder?

Here's the story, of an alleged doper

Who was using steroids and HGH.

All of them had side effects, like no other,

The last one was little nuts.

Here's the story of a company named Balco,

Who was busy with new drugs of their own,

They were illegal drugs, working together,

Yet they were barely known.

Till one day when Barry met this Balco

And they knew it was much more than a hunch,

That this group would all dope up together.                            

That's the was they became the Balco Bonds Bunch.

The Balco Bonds Bunch.

That's  the way they all became the Balco Bonds Bunch.

The Balco Bonds Bunch.

(Apologies to Sherwood Schwartz)

Bonds when he arrived at San Francisco           Bonds soon after

Shoe:    10.5                                                              13(yeah, right)

Jersey:   42                                                                52(muscle only?)

Hat         7 1/8                                                            7 1/2

Reality.  The MLB's negotiated drug policy has not allowed blood tests which would show HGH and designer steroids.  Wink, Wink!  

I don't want to hear anything about "no tests have shown Bonds to be a doper."

Leave that logic to Dr. Evil.    

 "Barry is our love child with my head!"      

 "Don't mess with my baby boy!   Scott, come massage Mommy's bunions!"                       

Ok, who'd have thought Cleveland would be up 3-2 after the beginning of this series.  Only Cleveland fans, that's who.

LeBron scored the last 25 points for Cleveland in game 5.   Double OT and the score actually made it over a combined 200 points.   Vegas bookies took a beating.   Cleveland fans and homers, start your rants about finishing off the woeful Pistons and b'slapping the Spurs next.

In reality, Cleveland is a couple buckets away from winning the series 4-1.    Then again, the Pistons are a couple buckets away from winning the series, too.

That's why we play the game, sports fans.

Should Cleveland win the series, look for LeBron to receive the Dwayne Wade "breathe on me in the lane and it's a trip to the line" rule.

Look out for the Horry forearm shiver, LeBron.