In a game that didn't matter...

In a conference that's as tough as a JV cheerleader squad's dentist's lawn guy...

In a matchup that was so 2008...

In the heavily favored Paterno stadium...

We the fans won when Iowa stood up and smacked Penn State in the mouth.

Thanks for saving ABC's tail with this matchup! Meanwhile, Purdue(not the chicken company in Texas) suddenly stood up and smacked the despised Notre Dump in the mouth

...until Purdue choked in the final minute.

So many millions of real men cheer for the NBC College Football Team to curl up and die! (Can Ray Lewis arrange for someone to do a drive by on Bob Costas and his chinchilla toupee, life will be better on Sunday Night Football.)

Hey don't even ask me about CBS commentator Vern Lundquist's flight from DFW to Birmingham (on Thursday) and how he tried to hit on the chick next to him in First Class. Nice try Gramps. Vern also whined about no WHITE WINE being available. Turn in your Man-Card, Nacy boy! (He was in Bama to do play-by-play on the Bama vs. Arkansas game) That's another story. Bad Vern! Bad! Now get off the couch!

Again, thank you Big Ten(Plus Penn State, that is...) for saving the weekend of College Football.

Now, if a voo-doo mamba can curse USC for the Reggie Bush family payoffs and make sure Tebow's elbow is f'd up for a couple weeks, I'll be happy. Knock Urban Meyer's smirk off his face, puh-leeze! What the heck are "consussion like symptoms on Tim Tebow! Tebow hit a lineman's knee when falling backwards. That looked like the cause of the consussion. When on the sidelines, Tebow puked, which is another concussion result. Keep the kid on the sideline for a couple weeks. I've had an astroturf concussion and I still remember that headache!

Damn, I just ran out of Kentucky bourbon! Back to you in the booth, guys!

And now, back to terrible REALITY TELEVISION and DANCING WITH THE EUNICHS!

What did it take to knock Brett FarveFavre off the sports page!

It took all the media pundits in love with Vick's balling skills, that's what.

Far more of us want Vick out of the league in 2009.

There's nothing in the Bill of Rights that guarantees a roster spot in the NFL.   I'm right because I checked the copy on my bicep.

The whiny kiddies scream for Vick's reinstatement just don't get it.  Try curling up next to a dog or cat for a few hours.   If you don't have one as a roommate, borrow one.  The honest and sincere hugs a human receives from the four-legged crowd can't be faked.

Why does 'doing your time' automatically qualify you for NFL sainthood?  Being involved in organized, interstate crime should be a lifetime suspension.  Shoeless Joe Jackson was never proven to cheat, yet he's still ineligible for the Hall of Fame.  Guilt by association matters and Vick was the lowlife in charge of the association.  Gitmo anyone?

Guess what! If your employer finds out you've been busted for a FELONY, you're fired and when you get out of the slammer, you don't get your old job back.  That's reality for those of us who have a clue, pay taxes and get up to go to a job we no longer love.  Reality bites and so does Vick.

NO VICK in 2009!

Who said this: "I can do whatever I want and y'all still gonna love me?"   You know!

Coming soon, the switchover from analog to digital.  It can't come a day too soon.  Viewing analog broadcasts on HDTV is a painful watch.  The picture is actually worse than on an old television!  Whatsupwitdat!

NFL and NBA games have been digital and beautiful.  Hey, you can even adjust the HDTV hue to more red or green depending on the sport.  NFL and golf get more green.  The NBA gets more red; prison tats show up better.

The Texas Rangers are beating down the Orioles and the analog picture stinks and looks like there's a bit of smoke.  Ian Kinsler hit for the cycle in the 6th inning, though it looks like he's playing in a San Francisco fog or I've been "over served."

Digital, Get You Some!

There's still the possibility that the Obama administration will yield to lobbyists and payoffs to force a FCC delay in the digital switch.  Maybe his cabinet will take the cash and pay their taxes!  Nah, not likely.  Most of these Dems don't pay taxes.  The little people do.

Ok, we had some great March Madness games Thursday.  The best teams won and a team from a pretend conference lost.  Is this a surprise?  It appears the NCAA got these seeds right!

Pitt vs. Xavier : A knife fight in a phone booth.  This was a great game!

UConn vs. Purdue:  This was a game of TAG and Purdue just couldn't catch up.  Close but no cigar, Boilermakers.  A close friend is crying tonight.  Then again, he flew out of town to meet his g'fren, so the crying is over and the begging is on!

Villanova vs. Duke:  Duke was stomped on like a  recently downed duck.  2/3 of North Carolina is celebrating tonight.  This was a serious beat down.  Only a couple minutes was broadcast in Texas.  We had the Mizzou game.

Mizzou vs. Memphis:  Mizzou did it's best to give away the game with pathetic free throw shooting; Memphis did it's best to return the favor.  Mizzou's Carroll is a freak with his short dump and hook shots.  Look out for Mizzou!

How can the Big East have 16 teams and only play 18 conference games?  This isn't a conference, it's a loose confederacy. 

Now to the populist story.

Ryan Moats, an NFL player I've never heard of, was popped for running a red light in Dallas/Ft.Worth.  Moats jumped out of his car and claimed his Mother in law was dying and he was near her hospital.  His wife ran from the vehicle.  (Can you say, "fleeing felon?"  I bet you can." ) Later the dying turned out to be the truth.  SO WHAT.  Moats did the crime.  Eat the ticket, fool.  This week four Oakland area police officers were killed during and after a routine traffic stop and it's aftermath.  The police have heard every lame story possible during stops.  The opportunistic TMZ media will jump all over this Moats story.  I'm sick of it already.  This could have been avoided if Moats had acted withing the law.  Now the left wing media will scream for this cop's job.  Let's see who's there to protect a reporter whose just been robbed at an ATM!

Look for Moats on Oprah and other terrible talk shows this week.  "I told the po-po the truth, so he should believe me."  I just threw up in my mouth.

Like many, I invested some time watching the WBC, the World Baseball Classic, not the World Boxing Council.  Not anymore.

What immediately puzzled me was the citizenship of the players.

Why do so many Netherlands players have Spanish surnames!

Surprise!  Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao are all former Dutch colonies and are supplying players under the Dutch flag.   Ladies and gentlemen, I call a party foul.  This fact eliminates any discussion about the "Greatest Upset Ever" over the A-Roid-less Dominicans!

This isn't the wooden shoe crowd on the field.  They're ringers.  You don't see Puerto Rico importing dudes from New Jersey.

******

"There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch." 

----Nigel Powers in GOLDMEMBER
*******

You'll notice U.S. citizens playing for Italy and others.

Mike Piazza is a coach for Italy.  The dude's not an Italian, but a grandparent probably was and loose sports citizenship rules allow teams to load up with foreign born and bred players who've never set foot on the motherland.  Plenty of these guys weren't good enough for their own nation's team, so they're playing mercenary.  Whatever these sellouts endorse, I'm not buying, ever!

Whassupwitdat!

There's no true David vs. Goliath here, so I'm off to do other things.

Sorry Bud(Selig), I'm through with this baseball farce.  Until you turn this into RollerBall, I'm gone.

I'll be following March Madness until MLB begins.

Hey, what's the latest T.O quote?