Occasionally a conference or conference division stinks up the bowl schedule.  This year it was the Big XII's south division.  I'm leaving the Big Ten off the hook, since they now have a blue placard hanging from their rearview mirror.

Let's break down the Big XII bowl season!

Tostito's Fiesta Bowl

Texas -9 vs. Ohio State

The viewers would have been best served if this game went to 847 overtimes and all the players died of old age without bankrupt medicare coverage.  The insipid Ohio State band playing that silly tune, while wearing their Girl Scout berets, made me want to buy cookies from cute little girls. 

This game featured poor coaching that should get peeps fired.  Texas blew their first half by going for it on 4th and 7 on the OSU 42.  This should have resulted in an OSU field goal.  Didn't happen.

Ohio State blew the game by crowding the line in the final 30 seconds, allowing Tejas to score an easy TD.  Fire some people today, sweater vest dude.

Cotton Bowl

Texas Tech -5 vs. Ole' Miss

Blech!  Way to play down to the lowest possible denominator, coach Leach!  Texas Tech is Latin for AHOGA.

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl(I'm sick of jumping whales, which have nothing to do with insurance anyway.)

Okie State -3 vs. Oregon College of Truck Bumper Uniforms

This was a track meet. I went to the closet and pulled out my old Oregon Waffle track shoes.  Yes, they're real shoes.  Oregon won on the back stretch as Okie State blew a hammie on the final turn.  This was a great bowl game for the viewers.

Now, let's salute the real giant killers of the conference, the mighty Big XII North!

Valero Holiday Bowl(I'm a  stockholder)

Missouri -13 vs. Northwestern Wilbon University

This was Chase Daniel's worst game as a baller.  The game went to the final minute and Daniel's lousy play didn't cause a loss, just rejoicing by Northwestern bettors who collected.  All hail the soccer dude kicking field goals.  Hey Chase, think 7th round, if you're lucky.  Better yet, learn to love the CFL.

Insight Bowl(what the heck is an Insight!)

Kansas -10 vs. Minnesota Fight'n Gerbils

Kansas prevailed and covered the spread.  The better team won as most Gerbils players were worrying about the Vikes' Starcaps conspiracy.  This was a good game for three quarters.

Konica Minolta Gator Bowl...best name since the Poulan Weedeater Bowl!  Visualize a gator with a camera or copy machine!

Nebraska +2.5 vs. Clemson's Quarterbackless Tigers

This was a painful game to watch as Clemson showed they subscribed to the Minnesota Vikings theory of "We don't need a stinking quarterback."  Nebraska did all they could to spot the mediocre Tigers a nice lead.  The highlights of this game were the goofy color commentator and correct calls from the replay booth.  The Cornholers came back from mediocrity with strong defense and the best quarterback you've never heard of.  QB Ganz has done more with less than any QB in the Big XII.

Oklahoma, it's up to you to save the honor of the weak Big XII South.

Then again, the Big Ten(Plus Penn State) didn't play for squat this bowl season, either. All hail Iowa!

I now turn it over to Lisa H and the USC Song Girls who will sing I Think I'm Turning Japanese.

After that, we resume the BCS championship game smack talking and made up quotes for two days.