An Ode to the backup QB, most of which stink it up because they're out of step and don't get reps in practice: Apologies to Cheech and Chong!
When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the starting QB bonds which have connected them with another receiver, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of bloggers requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation from the rest of the division.
(If you don't know the source obtuse paragraph , please don't vote in November.)
Start singing now...
Backup QB Jones, I got Backup QB Jones
Got Backup Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-oo
Yes, I am the victim of a Backup QB Jones
Ever since I was a little baby, I always be throwing behind the receiver
In fac', I was de passer in the whole neighborhood
Then one day, my mama bought me a football
And I loved that football
I took that football with me everywhere I went
That football was like a football to me
I even put that football underneath my pillow
Maybe that's why I can't sleep at night
I need help, ladies and gentlemens
I need someone to stand beside me
I need, I need someone to set a screen for me at the line of life
Someone I can pass to
Someone to hit the open man on the hook and ladder
And not end up in the popcorn machine
So cheerleaders, help me out
{cheerleaders sing repeatedly...}
(football Jones, I got a football Jones)
(I got a football Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo)
{while Tyrone Shoelaces sings/speaks...}
Oh, that sounds so sweet
Sing it out
C'mon Coach Booty, Red Blazer, sing along with me
That be bad, h-onky
Yeah
I want everybody in the whole stadium to stand up and sing with us
Oh yeah, sing it out like you're proud
All right, everybody watchin' coast-to-coast, sing along with us
Tony Romo, sing along with us
Jerry Jones, sing along with us
JokersWild, don't sing nothin'
Oh, it feels so good
Gimme the ball
I'll go down the field, against the world, left-handed
I could force it from the pocket with my toes
I could jump on top of the pocket, take off a quarter, leave fifteen cents change I
could, I could pitch behind my back I got more moves than Ex-Lax I'm bad I could
pass with my tongue Here I go down the field, try to stop me You can't stop me 'cause I
got a football Jones Here I come That's shovel pass with my eyebrow Yeah, I could
dunk it with my nose I'm, I'm bad as King Kong, gimme the ball I'm hot, I'm hot as...,
I'm hot as..., I'm hot as... uh Uh, uh, uh, uh...
Any team losing their starting QB will break the fans' hearts. Rarely does a backup step in and succeed. The few that do soon have a hot, model/actress girlfriend who's jumping on the bandwagon and new starter.
Get out your forks, the Cowboys are slow cooking and will be served with a nice brownsugar based barbeque sauce.
Next up, Lisa H and the the USC Song Girls will lead us in "I got a pinkie for sale" to the tune of the Talking Heads - "I got love for sale."
Super Star