OK, so I'm coming off a cold, with a monster headache, which makes me grumpy anyway, but this week in sports has not made it any better, believe me.

My bracket for the NCAA's totally blew up in my face.  "nuff said.

Baseball:  Stud closer JJ Putz down with a muscle strain that caused him to blow his first save of the year.  On the DL for at least two weeks.  Along with the other weaknesses in the bullpen, this can bode nothing but ill (witness four losses in a row to the O's, of all people).

Then came the hip discomfort  of newly acquired ace pitcher Erik Bedard, causing him to be scratched from his scheduled second outing in Baltimore (his former team home).  Thankfully, that turned out to be nothing, at least THIS time.  But his history of injuries the past few years is not terribly promising.

Basketball:  See the above regarding the NCAA's.

NBA:  "NBA?  Who are they?"  The NBA is dead to me now, and I think that everyone knows why.  I will never watch another NBA game on TV after the regular season is over this year, nor buy tickets to any game, nor buy any of their merchandise, and will purposely boycott any and all companies that sponsor the NBA with my personal dollars.  (I will, however, continue to support our local WNBA team).

My major entertainment for this summer is going to be watching and listening to how the Commish and others in the NBA hierarchy try to weasel their way out of the coming embarrassment  (during the NBA finals in June) that will be the City of Seattle vs Seattle Supersonics Basketball Club, NBA, et al.  It could get very interesting.

The weather:  I know, I know, I live in Seattle, OK.  But even I would like to see the sun at least one day a week.  They tell me it is coming tomorrow or Friday.  I hope so.

Football:   The 'Hawks just might be going to really suck this year.  Since it is Holmy's last year, they should strive to do just the opposite.

And, finally, they have come up with a  name for Seattle's new MLS team and it is.......drum roll,please.  Almost exactly the same as the old minor league team..Seattle Sounders FC (the FC is all that is new).

On that note, I'm done grumping for today.

In order for me to school you properly, gentlemen, it is necessary that you complete this "homework assignment" before we get started here.  Read all of the following.  No  scanning or skimming allowed.  Read EVERY WORD and read for (hopefully) comprehension:

First go here and read this one; and then here for the all important followup.  All y'all go on and do that now.  I will be right here waiting when you get done and return.

For those who are waiting with me, let's put faces on those to whom we are speaking, just for the record:

First there is the Commish:

Then there is Clay Bennett, one of the owners of and (apparently) the spokesperson for, the Seattle SuperSonics Basketball Club,along with Aubrey McClendon (more on him shortly). Mr. Bennett is the one on the right:

I have been unable to find an aggregate photo of the NBA Board of Governors, and I have neither time nor space here to post all 29 of them, so we will just have to use our imaginations.

(*taps foot impatiently*--Geez, I could have read both of those articles twice by now....).  Ah, there you are, gentlemen.  I trust that you read all of those words carefully, because there will be a quiz at the end of our schooling session.

But, first, let us establish a few rules of behavior.

I promise not to call you greedy, scum sucking sons of sea barnacles and/or carpetbaggers.

In return for that concession, you promise not to label me as some liberal know nothing, tree hugging Seattlite. (In point of fact, and to the rather intense discomfiture of most of  my acquaintances and others in Seattle, I am a staunchly conservative (both fiscally and socially) Republican, and I firmly believe in a good many of the things that you purportedly espouse).

You may also not use any statement to the effect that I know nothing about OKC and what goes on there. (My father was BORN in OKC, gentlemen, and I still have relatives there and have made numerous trips to the city in my slightly over 50 years of life.  Were he alive today, my father would probably be totally appalled by what you are up to.  As it is, he is probably rotating in his grave in Las Vegas, so you had better never show up there with the Sonics or he might just haunt you...)

OK, so, somehow you managed to convince 44,849 of your very closest friends to come out to the polls on 4 Mar 08 to vote in favor of the proposal to cosmetically renovate Ford Center (an option, by the way, which you refused to even consider in Seattle), as opposed to 27,564 slightly smarter people who voted against it.  Wow, that's only 72,413 people, out of something over 605,000 who live within the city limits of OKC according to the 2000 census.  That's a voter turn out of 11% of the population--that's pretty darn bad for a city that is predominantly Republican.

What these people voted to do was to continue a 1% sales tax (called MAPS) for another 15 months, in order to fund the proposed renovation.  Did anyone tell them that neither the ownership group of the team nor the NBA is planning on kicking in any funds of any kind to pay for part of this planned renovation or the practice facility, or that the vast majority of the monies made in that building by the team would not be coming to the city of OKC as partial payment/repayment for those renovations.  No?  I didn't think so.  $121 million for you and yours, and nary a penny for those taxpayers who are ponying up the dollars to foot the bill.

Then there is the little subject of your walking into Seattle immediately after buying the team and saying that you "had every intention of making a go of it in Seattle, and you did not buy the team to move it out of Seattle."  But then Aubrey let it slip not too long after that all y'all never had any intention of buying the team to leave it in Seattle, OKC was the target city for relocation all along.  A senior moment type of statement for which the league ultimately fined him $250,000.00 for letting the cat out of the bag (pocket change for him, to be sure, but a heck of a lot of money for all of us "normal people").

And there was the initial statement that Sonics basketball is a major economic force in Seattle, and that the team would be economically missed if they were moved.  Seems to me that just a few weeks ago, when making application to the league to relocate the team to OKC, you stated just the opposite--that a basketball team has no economic impact on a city at all (hmmmm, then why were all of the people on the "Big League City" campaign touting how much of an economic boon the Sonics' move to OKC is going to be?????)

And, of course, there is the whining about the fact that the Mariners and Seahawks have fine new stadia, so why wouldn't the taxpayers of the city of Seattle come up with $500,000.00 for a new arena for the Sonics, again at 100% taxpayer expense?  I can think of one good reason, right off of the top of my head....because Nintendo America and Paul Allen, and their business associates heading those teams did something that you are apparently not willing to do under any circumstances--invest a significant amount of their own money in the construction of those self same stadia, in order to cement the team's ties with the cities and demonstrate fiscal responsbility on the part of ownership.

It's not like a number of people didn't approach you about assisting with finding a suitable location for, and private (or private/public) financing of, that arena that you wanted, but you refused to talk to any of them.  Is that a good faith effort to keep the team here?  I think not.

Collusion:  A nasty, nasty little word; and it seems to be rearing it's little head about now.  Seems Messrs. Stern and Bennett have been friends for quite a number of years.  What did the Commish promise to Mr. Bennett in terms of finding him a team for OKC when the Hornets had to head back to NOLA, and when did he make the promise?

I guess we're going to find out sometime in June.  The city of Seattle has filed a lawsuit in Federal Court to require specific performance of the Sonics' remaining lease on Key Arena, which runs through the end of the 2010 season, because the relocation petition requests that the team be allowed to relocate at the end of THIS season.  The season ticket holders have filed an application for a class action suit against the team because of promises made to them by Mr. Bennett in which he stated that season tickets would be honored through 2010, and without any increase in price.  Yet another lawsuit has been filed against the team by the union local representing the seasonal/part time employees of the Key Arena because of projected loss of jobs and earnings, because this is the primary income for a good many of these individuals.

And, lest the Commish and the Board of Governors should think that all of this legal wrangling has nothing to do with you, perhaps you should think again.  Former Senator Slade Gorton, the lead private sector attorney and the City Attorney for the city of Seattle have promised that you, gentlemen, will be added as respondents in the aforementioned lawsuit, should there be a positive vote on the relocation to OKC at your meeting in April.

It could get pretty ugly, which could have a rather dampening effect on the Commish's plan to go international with the NBA.  (Note to the Commish:  The author of that piece is a "Seattle boy" so, though you might take the tone of the article as a tad ironic, I, personally, believe that he meant pretty much everything he said, including what he DIDN'T say).

In closing, I think that the good people of OKC should know now that you will be coming to them again in just a few years with another request/proposal, this one for a brand new arena, at a cost of $500 million or more, and that they will be asked to foot 100% of the bill again, or the team will be moving to some other city--AGAIN.  But, when that time comes, I would hope that they would have learned a lesson from the city of Seattle, and refuse to be held hostage to the whims of a bunch of guys with a lot of money who want a new home for their hobby/toy, but want someone else to pay for it or they will pick it up and go home.

Good luck with that, gentlemen.

(Note:  The city turned down a $26.5 million lease buyout offer from the team last week, and do not plan to listen to any other such offers.  A group of local businessmen, including Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, have stepped up and offered to buy the team and pay one half of a proposed $300 million dollar renovation/upgrade to Key Arena, with the other half being financed by the same tax that finainced the public portion of the Safeco and QWest Fields' construction. If, as expected, the court case goes in the city's favor, leaving the ownership group to peform the leasehold through the end of the 2010 season; as well as pay the city's legal fees, and suffer any other financial losses that might accrue through the other pending suits and a possible boycott of the team's home games; all y'all just might want to rethink your position on the vote on that relocation petition while you still have the time).

Thank you for your kind attention, gentlemen.

Seahawks place kicker Josh Brown has declared that he will be doing something a bit unusual to keep himself warm in between kicks during the NFC Divisional Playoff game at Lambeau Field the day after tomorrow.

What could that be, you might well ask? 

He will be wearing battery powered heaters inside of the down lined rain pants that he wears over his uniform when not needed on the field..... so that he can keep his kicking leg warm.  They are part of his hunting gear during the off season.

Upon further reflection, I guess that the team is paying him enough for the use of that leg (not to mention the occasional use of his tackling skills) that maybe he SHOULD keep it plenty warm, because 3 points might make the difference between winning and losing in Green Bay--it has before on quite a number of occasions.

On hearing about Mr. Brown's plans, my usually staid 27 year old daughter said, "Well, good luck with that.  He had better hope that he doesn't go getting an electric shock in any part of his anatomy where he might find it excrutiatingly painful."

And, insofar as anyone can tell, this is not a violation of the rules.

This in contrast to Julian Peterson, who says that he will be out on the field in short sleeves (brrrrrrr).  I know that he will be busy running after Brett Favre most of the early afternoon, but here is hoping that he won't be getting any frostbite whilst doing it.

(Note to male readers:  OK, so what iis it with you men that you feel you have to prove your manliness in such a way?  Thanks for your kind attention to this matter).

And, just for the record:  The cartoon at this URL shows what will be this year's version of "We want the ball and we're gonna score..."

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/seahawks/2004117494_hawkcartoon10.html

As I sit here thinking about taking Ultra up on his challenge from a week or so ago, and possibly writing a retroactive letter to Santa Claus about all of our local sports needs for the next year, I realize that I can sum my predictions for the year up in one great big word.......

Now, let's take it from the top, and you will see what I mean:

Basketball:  I don't care how much he and his lackies deny it, "Cash Us" Clay Bennett very clearly came into town and demolished what little bit of good there was to the Seattle Supersonics, just as a means of making Seattlites reach a point where they barely give a flying flip about the team and the fact that he has the moving vans almost packed and ready to take off to OKC as soon as the NBA's board of governors gives him permission to do so.

The Sonics can barely win their way out of a paper bag any more after trading Ray Allen to the suddenly resurgent Boston Celtics, and letting Rashard Lewis get away to the Orlando Magic.  About the only good thing about this team is Kevin Durant, and he should be the league's Rookie of the Year for the way he is trying to carry the team on his back.  Can you say "deliberate tanking" everyone?

The Federal Court hasn't even started to hear motions on the city of Seattle's litigation against Bennett and the Sonics ownership for trying to bail out on the last two years of their lease for the Key Arena, and the other two class action suits that have been filed against them for ticket fraud (he DID, after all, make some promises to season ticket holders that he didn't really have much of an intention of fulfilling), and already Mr. Bennett has convinced the City of OKC that they need to raise $100MM to upgrade the nearly brand new Ford Center against the POSSIBILITY that the team might be relocating there, for which the city will be holding a referendum vote on an additional city sales tax to support the renovation.  (Note to OKC:  If you approve it, he isn't going to spend any of the team's money for that renovation; and will be back in less than five years asking for $500MM more (again none of the team's money to be added) for a totally brand new arena.

Pfooey, Clay.  The people of OKC really want the Hornets back anyway.  Hopefully, while you are tied up in court, Mr. Shinn will bring them back, since the league is not happy with their attendance in NOLA since their return, and you won't have any place in OK to put the OKC whatever their names will be.  There are people here who want to buy the team back to keep it here.  Get off the dime and sell to them.

Baseball:  Carlos Silva??  Carlos Silva???  OK, so we got a pitcher from the Twins.  Note to Silly Billy Bavasi--WRONG PITCHER, DUDE!!!!  You were supposed to be dealing for Carlos' best friend, Johan, remember?  What's up with that?  (Note to Carlos:  Please go and have a talk with your best friend and convince him to tell the Twinkies management that he would like to be reunited with you.)  The only thing good about this offseason is that the Angels didn't get a whole heck of a lot better.  Yes, they got Torii Hunter and Jon Garland, but Vlad is getting a little brittle lately, and sending Orlando Cabrera off to Chicago isn't going to do a whole lot for Vlad's protection in the line up.  (Torii isn't exactly getting any younger or faster or better with the bat, you know; and Jon Garland is a solid middle of the rotation pitcher  more or less).

I'm here to predict that, barring a miracle like the one that happened in NYC in 1969, I will have quit watching local baseball games on TV by the middle of July, and probably won't have attended one in person after opening day.

Football:  *sigh*  Methinks Mike Holmgren retireth after the Hawks get knocked out of the playoffs (hopefully in the second round, not the first), and we have son of "Playoffs? Playoffs?  Don't even talk about the playoffs!" as the new head coach (at least until Ty Willingham gets the axe at the UW, and Mora the Younger goes off to  take over that gig).  He's done a great job with the defensive secondary this year, but is he ready to be a head coach again?  I dunno, but something deep within me says that the Hawks window of opportunity is about to slam shut with a resounding bang, and they go back to being the Hawks of old for a few years (translation:  not so hot).

 Now that I have totally depressed myself about the state of professional sports in Seattle, I think I will go off and watch a T'Birds game.  At least they are playoff bound, and stand a pretty good chance of winning the American Division of the WHL again this year.

Personally, I would NOT.

What scares me, though, is the fact that there are about 29 other General Managers that are going to try to SELL him several of the aforementioned commodity before the MLB Winter Meetings end on Thursday of this week.

Why my trepidation, you might well ask?  Let me see, there is last year's perfectly awful Horacio Ramirez for Rafael Soriano deal.  The Braves get one of the better setup men in the League, and the M's get--you guessed it--an oft injured pitcher who can never win on the road, and only occasionally at home, with a 7+ ERA.  Then there was the mostly failed Jeff Weaver experiment--who is going to benefit from that this year, now that he is no longer in Seattle blue?  (Of course, I would be more than happy if someone just kind of sent his brother up here, but we all know that ain't gonna happen either).

Then there is the fact that he/the M's front office did absolutely NOTHING at the trade deadline--a time at which the M's were actually in contention for the AL West, and after which they slid back down to second, never to recover. (Yes, I know that they won more games last year than they have since 2003 but that is really beside the point, now, isn't it?)

Rumors/leaks went out over the past week or so that the Mariners had discussed a Johan Santana trade with the Twins.  And they probably did, but they had to have known what everyone else seems to know--Santana has a full no trade clause, and he wants to go to the AL East, not West.  Besides, who were they going to give up to the Twins for Santana?  Felix Hernandez?  I think NOT. So that was a pretty useless conversation, especially if it lasted more than two minutes. (And don't get me wrong here, I can salivate over the prospect of a Santana/Hernandez one two in the rotation as much as the next person, but I'm also sane enough to know that it wasn't going to happen).

Kuroda, anyone?  Those who are in the know say that the soon to be 32 year old Japanese pitcher projects to be no better than a middle of the rotation starter, and would probably be better of in the NL than the AL (see Matsuzaka, Daisuke under the subheading "not quite as good as advertised for the monies paid out").  So the M's offer him 4 years/$45MM.  I say they would be better off giving (and I do mean GIVING) Richie Sexson to the Giants, along with maybe Wladimir Balientien and Rob Johnson, and bringing Tim Lincecum home to pitch.  Less salary, younger, hometown boy, and the probability of being able to fix those funky mechanics under the stern tutelage of new pitching coach Mel Stottlemyre.

Eric Bedard is not going to come cheap, and I'm not sure Andy McPhail wants much, if anything, that good ole Bill could/would offer him in return.  Same for the former Seattle Pilots and Ben Sheets.

The Cubs are said to be interested in left fielder Raul Ibanez, but only to convert him to a right fielder (see Soriano, Alfonso under the subheading large contract and "heck, no, I ain't moving out of left field").  What would the M's get in return?  I'm hearing Mark Prior.  Doesn't he have a glass arm?  Raul may be losing a step or two with his bad back and bad hammy from last season and he doesn't have the strongest arm from left field, but he is a left handed batter who can still more or less hit, particularly with the short right field porch at the Safe.

Despite my early thoughts to the contrary, both Jose Guillen and Jose Vidro were good pickups for the M's last season, but Guillen is now gone, so that takes 20+ HR's and 100+ RBI off of the game for this year.  Vidro is not exactly comfortable in the DH role, and his knees won't let him play the field consistently.  So, I guess that I have to give Herr Bavasi credit for those.

In short, Bill, wise up this winter.  DON'T come home with a bunch of broken down vets who probably can't get it done at Safeco Field.  If you can't come home with at least one good, young top of the rotation pitcher, then don't come home with anyone.  Start using those good young arms that are waiting in the wings.  Brandon Morrow, Ryan Rowland-Smith, Sean Green and the other 20 somethings will be ready in another year.  Don't mortgage or trade away the future for someone(s) that are not going to put a winning product on the field come spring.

I don't like the team not winning, but there are young players in the system who will get better if allowed to develop here and not be traded away for player or players who really aren't going to help.

Restrain yourself this year, OK?  (Fukudome, though, you could come home with and we would be at least a little happy about that).