Well, the Philadelphia Eagles have finally reached their bye week.  But it's probably one week too late.  Nevertheless, a week off is welcome - for the team, and also for frustrated fans.

A 4-4 record doesn't really spell doom, but with a difficult remaining schedule - it isn't exactly where they wanted to be either.  With the resurgent NY Giants now in charge of the NFC East, it's going to be an uphill climb.

 

So being the nice guy that I am, I thought I'd offer a little help to my beloved team on their bye week.  After being smacked in the mouth by the Jacksonville Jaguars, it seems they could use all the help they can get.

 

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Andy Reid, if you're listening...here are my suggestions for some bye week activities:

 

- Borrow an Xbox...a big screen television, and put them in the locker room.  Get a copy of Madden 2007, set the game difficulty on "easy"...then have your team play a few games.  Make sure they take note of the following:  how to tackle, how to catch a pass, and how to avoid unnecessary penalties.

 

- Have the defense study the Jacksonville game.  Pay particular attention to the only good tackle made during that game, which happened to be executed by punter Dirk Johnson.

 

- Make sure that the equipment crew modifies the punter's helmet so that he can also play as a linebacker, if needed.

 

- Along those same lines, have the team's waterboy run some drills in practice to see if he's ready to play some linebacker.

 

-  While watching the Jacksonville game film, have the offensive coordinator copy the Jaguars entire playbook.  This includes only two plays:  1) Run this way  2) Run that way.

 

- Use that big screen TV in the locker room to watch the movie The Replacements.  Pay attention to the scene where a player pukes in the huddle.  Then make sure to tease Donovan McNabb about his "reversal of fortune" in the Tampa Bay game.

 

- Instruct your players to go out to a nightclub at least once during the extra time off.  Also, make it clear that under no circumstances are they allowed to be at the same nightclub as Titans cornerback Pacman Jones.

 

- Celebrate the fact that your team has twice as many wins as the defending Super Bowl champions.

 

- Contact a wholesaler and purchase extra Stickum for the wide receivers.

 

- Have Donovan's mother, Wilma McNabb, cook dinner for the team.  And make sure that Chunky Soup is not on the menu.

 

- Abandon all the typical defensive drills in practice, and have Jeremiah Trotter chase around a live chicken.  Well, it worked for Rocky!

 

- For goodness' sake, get Andy Reid an extra piece of cheesecake!  He's gonna starve to death.

 

- In a team meeting, prepare a speech about "what might have been" if they had only taken Ricky Williams in the 1999 draft - instead of Donovan McNabb.

 

- Have each team member returning from last year share their favorite Terrell Owens memory.

 

- Thank the stars above that no matter what happens this season - at least they won't have TO yelling at them on the sidelines.

 

Last, but not least

 

- Have the team watch some film of their games from the 2003 season, so they can be reminded of how good they really are.

 

 

Buh bye!