Shannon Sharpe seems really smart, poised and likeable in person. So why all the LOL'ing and forced laughter on air every Sunday? My biggest gripe with the NFL are those ridiculous studio shows. If I'm Roger Goodell, I spend the off-season working with the networks on making those programs watchable, first...and then handling instant replay second.

I had dinner last evening at a place on South Beach called GrilledFish, where Kevin Hench and I sat next to a few of the Indianapolis Colts. What do you think a table of four NFL players would discuss at dinner on the eve of the Super Bowl? Anything but X's and O's, right? Their bludgeoned over the head with football all week. They'll want to talk about any other topic, right? Wrong.

The Colts guys were strategizing. And eating the clams casino. I'm not sure what that means, but there's my inside dirt of the week. Do what you must with it.

At the other table next to us was FSN's "Totally Football" host Laura Okmin. I'm not sure what she was eating, but she was quite friendly as always. I told her she did a great job working as the sideline reporter at the Orange Bowl, which she really did.

Speaking of sideline reporters, I think I've fallen in love. I met Bonnie Bernstein this week. And well, she's beautiful in person. And cool. And from New Jersey. And well, if she had a MySpace page, I'd be posting several comments on it fairly often.

With a big few days ahead, I called it an early night, returned to my hotel room and watched this week's "I Love New York". Chance and Mr. Boston better get their own reality show spinoff.

Them, or the Grey Goose and Favre guy. 

Busy day on Wednesday.

Scooted over to the media center bright and early to do an interview with Jamie Mottram and the guys at AOL Sports Bloggers Live. Actually "scooted" is a horrible term to use there. More like "plodded". Since my hotel (er...hostel) is downtown and the media center is over at South Beach, I've been using the shuttle system to get place to place. The first few days were fine, but Wednesday's shuttle ride was an hour journey. To make things worse, there was a guy on the shuttle whose cell phone ring was Dr. Evil saying "Throw me a frickin' bone".

For some reason, he wasn't answering his calls, just letting it ring. So, imagine, being stuck in traffic for an hour, and just hearing Mike Meyers circa 1998 saying "Throw me a Frickin' Bone" over and over and over again.

Apparently, I was the only one peeved by this. I looked at the other media members on the shuttle, and they all were chuckling. Loving it!

I got to radio row just in time. Jamie's the man. And although I think he's only about 20 years old, he may be one of the only guys out there who has found a way to successfully incorporate the mysterious world of blogging into a mainstream media platform. I've been on his show several times before. One time, I followed Ron Artest. Another, J.E. Skeets. On Wednesday? Chad Johnson. I'll do his show anytime he asks. First, it's good radio. And second, the way I figure it, if I stay in the good graces of Mottram and his listeners, pictures of me getting wasted out on South Beach won't show up on deadspin.com or withleather.com this week. It's the equivalent of being on Perez Hilton's good side. You don't want those white marks drawn all over your face.

Bill Simmons sums up the essence of radio row pretty well in his column from Wednesday. It really is a bizarre scene. Here I am, sitting giving these guys an interview, talking about how excited I am to be invited to the Penthouse Party on Saturday night, and Lennox Lewis is literally sitting, giving an interview a foot away. As I'm doing the interview, I'm having trouble hearing Jamie, because Rich Eisen is speaking loudly right behind me. And of course, throughout the entire day, you can hear Adam Schein's booming pipes.

The interview goes well, and I'm scooped up by a station out in Denver. Andrew Siciliano - the King of Cleveland - sits down next to me, and we give one of those "Ah, we're all friends, why don't you interview both of us at the same time!" interviews that I'm assuming Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong did at some point this summer. Siciliano's a great dude, too. And he swears - though I don't even recall the kick - that Rich Karlis's extra point in '87 versus the Browns was actually no good. He's adamant about this. Love that passion.

When that was over, I stood around like a weirdo waiting for another station to interview me...and none even tried.

Throw me a frickin bone!

Then it was back to my laptop in the media room. In the two minute walk around the convention center, I casually passed and said hello to Matt Hasselbeck, Zach Thomas, Larry Johnson, Tim Brando, and Boomer Esiason.

Yep, just another day at the office.

The media party, itself, was pretty awesome.

Though I hoped to be on a tight dance floor, wedged between Michael Wilbon, Peter King, and Bonnie Bernstein -- there actually weren't many of the big-name faces in attendance.  

Nope, there'd be no kissing Suzy Kolber on this night.  

That said, they all missed out on a fantastic little set-up. The city roped off about 500 yards worth of South Beach, and went all out. Top shelf open bar, all the food you could imagine, and some great live entertainment.  

One thing that intrigued me was a random beach volleyball game between two teams of bikini-clad women going on in the middle of the outdoor party.  

A bunch of media folk were hovering around the volleyball court, each one with his jaw scraping the sand.  

I asked a guy who was winning. His response? "We all are," as he pointed to the court filled with girls wearing next to nothing.  

Terrible line, but I gave a courtesy laugh for the hell of it.  

I think I like Tim Cowlishaw a lot. He's one of the guys on ESPN's Around the Horn. But, unlike the other dudes on that show, he never screams, never yells, and rarely says something outrageous for the sake of saying something outrageous. He also is a newspaper man, first, and a talking head, second. Every event I cover -- I see Cowlishaw working his tail off. Most importantly, he puts together great copy in the Dallas Morning News every morning. While the rest of the big TV personalities passed on the media party, Cowlishaw attended -- smiling, sharing a laugh with whoever approached him.  

In related news, Skip Bayless was nowhere to be found.  

FOXSports.com video guru Nick Neves and I roamed the party like archeologists on a dig. We were blessed to bump into a man that we will never forget. Standing about 6-foot-8, weighing well over 300 pounds, and dressed in a green Packers tee shirt that read "No. 4: Thanks for the Memories -- 1992-2006." I had no idea Brett Favre died last year!  

Anyway, this guy goes on to tell us he's been drinking since 4 p.m., is NOT a member of the media, and can "beat the ever living hell out of every person at this thing." I'm fascinated by him. Within minutes, the cops come over to tell him to take it down a notch.  

He drops this gem:   "You better have a 40 millimeter taser gun on you if you're going to tell ME to take it down a notch."  

Meanwhile, at the other end of the open bar, his friend -- wearing one of those huge novelty sized "Cat in the Hat" hats -- was trying to shove a bottle of Grey Goose down his pants. Of course, he was caught and both men were asked to leave. No taser guns were used.  

VH1 needs to find these dudes and give them a reality show. ASAP.   After a few more hours of hanging out, we all called it a night.

Another action-packed day in Miami.  

Stay tuned.

Every year at the Super Bowl, the host city puts on a party for the credentialed members of the media.

If you think about what the average "sports media member" looks like, you have an idea of how this one turns out. Lots of sweaters from the '80s, several pairs of tapered jeans, and millions of weirdly timed high fives.

Basically, a sausage party with some really foul-tasting sausage. That said, it's open bar, incredibly well catered, and filled with all sorts of enthusiasm and entertainment.

Last year's one in Detroit was marked by FOXSports.com video guru Nick Neves and me playing an entire game of Madden 06, while seated in leather lounge chairs, eating steak skewers, and listening to the soothing sounds of an Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band. Surely, Miami couldn't top that!

I was looking forward to the media party all day, but had to get some grub first. Neves, Christian Anderson, and Charissa Thompson joined my foil -- dueling FOXSports.com Super Bowl blogger, Adam Schein -- and myself for a nice sit down dinner on Ocean Drive.  

I picked Schein's brain like a surgeon. And the surgeon analogy is quite appropriate. It turns out that the man so many millions of Americans turn to for inside information from our country's most rugged, most macho, most masculine sport -- is a die-hard fan of Grey's Anatomy.  

Barf.  

Yep, he loves the show every ex-girlfriend in America cuddles up to on Thursday nights. McDreamy, the theme song, even the girl from Arli$$ -- Adam Schein eats it all up. Or in his terms, "It's good stuff!" (said in Schein voice).

All this was very unsettling to me. Hearing the man I turn to every afternoon on SIRIUS for tips about blitz packages and Cover 2's rave about last week's episode and what "Izzy" did -- well, let's just say the bedroom scene in "The Crying Game" surprised me less.   In between all the chick flick hospital drama chatter, we got down to business and spoke about the game.

Schein's holding out on a pick until his video for the site goes up later this week. But I think I like the Bears.

I'll why explain in my column going up on FOXSports.com later today.

Media day wore me out. After five hours of being herded around like a sheep (or a cow?), watching those "American Idol" rejects sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame", and hearing more overweight, 50-year-old white men in weird sweaters LOL at anything and everything borderline humorous coming out of the players' mouths, I was ready for a nap. Of course, it's the Super Bowl ... and naps aren't allowed.

Over at the media center, I had a nice little chat with Chris "Mad Dog" Russo from WFAN's "Mike and the Mad Dog" program. I'd grown up listening to Russo and Francesca, still tune in everyday, and think of Doggy as my distant, zany, sweater-loving uncle.

We talked tennis, naturally. He hadn't played yet since landing here in Miami, which if you're a listener of the show, you know is just mind-boggling. Russo's an absolute tennis freak. An almanac of the sport's history. He loves to chat about it too. It could be the morning of the AFC Championship Game, and he'll find a way to subtly mention what Roger Federer's doing in the Australian Open.

Unfortunately, Russo wasn't wearing the amazing tennis racket belt he sported this summer, but he was in happy spirits nonetheless. I asked if they'd be coming back down to Bar Anticipation in Belmar, New Jersey for a show this summer. His answer?

"Ah, good work, Peter. Absolutely. Good work."

And does he like the Zito signing by his beloved San Francisco Giants?

"Love it!"

Only thing missing was Jerome from Manhattan.