|
Time to P-A-R-T-Y!
Saturday, February 3, 2007, 04:14 PM EST
[General]
Party all the time. Party all the time.
I felt like Lindsay and Paris leading up to Friday night's festivities. I weaseled my way onto lists for the Maxim, Hawaiian Tropic, Star Island, ESPN the Magazine, and Commissioner's Party. In truth, I only wanted to be where Perez Hilton was going. I had heard he was out on the town this week, and yet, I still didn't have a picture of me on his site white mark on my lip, and the word "SKANK" written in Microsoft Paint across my chest. Someday. Someday.
My friend Schub and I headed over to the ESPN the Magazine "NEXT" party where there was chili being eaten and skateboarders going off ramps. Alas, everyone else at the party had a VIP badge around their neck. I didn't. What'd that mean? No open bar. No free chili. No fun. No girls paying attention to me. I tried getting into the VIP by telling them I loved Tom Friend's writing each issue, but was told no dice.
Then it was off to South Beach, where the rest of the bashes were being held. FOXSports.com video guru Nick Neves, far cooler than me, was already entrenched at the Maxim party. With a line winding around the corner and the bouncers wanting NOTHING to do with me, I give Neves a call. No answer. Text. No answer. Awesome.
So that wasn't happening.
Hawaiian Tropic? We get to the club fairly early in the evening. No line. We ask what the deal is. The promoter dude gives us some wry smile. "You can get in, no problem."
Schub and I begin to enter beyond the velvet ropes.
"1500 dollars each, man."
Kerplunk.
That one hurt. It wasn't enough that this guy knew he wasn't letting us into his party. But he had to tease us, too? Poor sportsmanship. I think I muttered the line Mr. Romance gave when New York asked him to leave the house on VH1's I Love New York, "Just unprofessional ... unprofessional."
At this point, I get a hold of Neves. Here's the list of people he'd seen at the Maxim party.
- Warren Moon
- Brady Quinn
- Jay Fiedler
- Julius Jones
- Tony Romo
- A. J. Adande
- SimeonRice
- Jason Witten
- David Spade
And the one that killed me the most -- Perez Hilton. That was my chance!
Schub and I end up on a random rooftop party with an Emory friend of ours livng in Miami for law school, Rebecca. We get to the top of the StarLight Hotel and it's as if we're at a Ford Models casting call. Just beautiful, olive skin women everywhere you turned. Naturally, none wanted anything to do with two bumbling fools wearing jeans and sneakers.
After several attempts to strike up conversations, we realize we're way over our head and decide to just people watch. Or gawk. Or stare. Or whatever you call it.
I ask one where she's from, and she looks me right back in the eye, doesn't say a word, and briskly walks RIGHT by me. Saying I was shot down would be a gross understatement. I'd never seen anything like it.
Awesome!
Neves and his fianc
Tags:
|
|
Send Message
Add Friend
Block User
Invite to Group
Report User