In his 1974 essay, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig examines the idea of quality and how to attack the question through logical, systematic and rational thought. Pirsig's protagonist, Phaedrus, is a rhetoric professor at the University of Montana who is driven mad by his pursuit to define what is best.
Thirty years later in a parked car high atop the city of San Diego, Ron Burgundy argues with Veronica Corningstone about the origins of the name "San Diego."Burgundy is convinced the city was named for a whale's genetalia, while Ms. Corningstone correctly argues the city is named after the Spanish Saint, Saint Diego.With a dismissive wave of the hand Burgundy tells Corningstone, "We agree to disagree."
The first example illustrates the difficulty in defining what is best on an abstract level, while the second example demonstrates the absurdity of arguing a point that has a definitive answer.At first glance, it appears that there can be nothing in common between Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and the movie Anchorman: Legend of Ron Burgundy, but the two examples come together perfectly when sporting events and athletes are the topic of debate.Most arguments about athletes and sporting events center on defining what is best and then structuring and defending a particular position.Most times, no matter how persuasive the argument on either side, the only conclusion is to agree to disagree.
The NBA MVP debate this year is a perfect example of an inability to agree on quality and what is best.I'm not certain we could reach a unanimous MVP if each of us were to put aside all of our beliefs and prejudices and preconceived notions of how we feel the game should be played.
This June, the NBA draft will lay the foundation for new debate.Without high school players eligible, this year's draft is slim-pickings. Adam Morrison, for example, the potential first pick, is the destitute man's Larry Bird.The 2006 NBA draft offers little hope of excitement, except for those people who enjoy watching long-term role players.In its 60 years of existence, the NBA has produced thousands of great players, hundreds of superstars, and about 50-60 legends.The NBA came out with a list of the 50 best players of all time at the 1996-1997 All Star Game.A panel comprised of former players and media members took on the arduous task of determining the greatest players in NBA history and their selections were, for the most part, dead-on accurate.
As an exercise to spice up this year's bland draft, I examined each team's draft needs, and instead of choosing from this year's mediocre crop of college kids, any player who has ever played the game is eligible for selection in this fantasy draft. My first-round picks are all guys who made the NBA's 50 greatest list.Each pick was selected by using Pirsig's rational, logical and systematic method of choosing the best player for each team.As for any disagreements about these selections, my response, unless I can be convinced otherwise, will be to use Ron Burgundy's "agree to disagree" stance.
1.Portland Trail Blazers - The Blazers need help at every position, and in this draft, the Blazers know Sam Bowie is not the answer. Feeling nostalgic, they toy with the idea of drafting Bill Walton.Cooler heads prevail and the Blazers do what they should have done in 1984.With the first pick in the 2006 draft, the Portland Trail Blazers select Michael Jordan.
2.Chicago Bulls - The Bulls tried to trade their entire roster and this pick to the Blazers, for the chance to again draft Jordan, knowing the Blazers would certainly not make the mistake of the century again.Having failed, the Bulls keep this pick.Feeling good about guards Ben Gordon and Kirk Hinrich and looking for size at this pick, the candidates are Kareem, Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain.The Bulls flirt briefly with making the solid and safe pick in Bill Russell, but in the end select Wilt Chamberlain.
3.Charlotte Bobcats - Charlotte needs help at every position and it's a miracle they won 26 games this year.Needing a scorer, a rebounder and a playmaker in just this one pick, the Bobcats select the do-it-all Oscar Robertson.
4.Atlanta Hawks - The best players drafted in franchise history are Lenny Wilkins, Pete Maravich and David Thompson.GM Billy Knight thinks long and hard about drafting either Maravich or Thompson until the team psychiatrist provides him the definition of insanity, which is doing what you've always done and expecting different results.This team needs bigs.This team needs smalls. This team needs miracles. This team needs and gets "Magic."
5.Toronto Raptors - It's tough being a professional athlete in Canada with the currency exchange rate. Athletes in baseball, basketball and hockey bolt as soon as they're eligible for free agency.The working-day malaise phrase in Canada is: "Another day, another 64 cents."A GM could build a championship team with the list of former Raptors. Every player on this current Raptors team is expendable.The Raptors decide to go franchise and select Kareem Addul- Jabbar.
6.Minnesota Timberwolves - Kevin Garnett and a pack of baby wolves.KG, the 2003-2004 league MVP, led the Wolves to the Western Conference Finals that same year.They haven't been back to the playoffs since. Kevin McHale thinks about drafting himself with this pick. He is talked down from the ledge and drafts a player he knows better than anyone. His pick is Larry Bird.
7.Boston Celtics - The city mourns the previous pick made by one of their own, of one of their own.This team needs guards and a center. In an effort to restore Celtic Pride, their choices come down to Sam Jones, Nate Archibald, John Havlicek, Kevin McHale, Robert Parish, and of course, the guy they pick, Bill Russell.
8.Houston Rockets - Is Yao the guy they want to continue to build around?At 25 years of age, the answer is yes.Jeff Van Gundy, however, isn't the architect for the project. He'll be gone and the Rockets will continue with Yao and a guy named T-Mac. With an inside presence and a 25 point a night guy, the Rockets look to the point and take Isiah Thomas.
9.GoldenState Warriors - The Warrior backcourt is solid with Baron Davis and Jason Richardson. Number 9 in this draft is too high to pick the Warriors' most famous player, Rick Barry.Houston's Hakeem Olajuwan's athleticism fits in brilliantly with that of Davis and Richardson. Coach Mike Montgomery is a better fit at the University of Houston and won't be around to coach this guy. Olajuwan is the pick.
10.Seattle SuperSonics - The Sonics best players are a shooting guard and a small forward.In the NBA, that combination makes you a perennial lottery team unless those guys are Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen.Luke Ridnaur will never be an NBA championship point guard, nor will the guy they take at number ten, Washington homeboy John Stockton.
11.Orlando Magic - This team has several nice pieces, including rookie power forward, Dwight Howard, their franchise player.The Magic goes backcourt selecting Clyde Frazier.
12.New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets - With two different mailing addresses, the Hornets have a 20-year old point guard who will be dynamite for the next 10 years. The Hornets decide to take a guy who can rebound, get up and down the floor, and knows how to deliver the mail. The Hornets select Louisiana native Karl "Mailman" Malone.
13.Philadelphia 76ers - Can they get three more productive years from AI?The Sixers can lengthen his career by taking the bulk of the scoring load from his slight shoulders and take a guy who can effectively slow the pace of every game he plays in. He led the Sixers to The Promised Land in 1983. Can Moses Malone do it again?
14.Utah Jazz - Average players will give you a .500 team and that's exactly what the Jazz were this year, .500.Carlos Boozer and Andre Kirilenko are decent frontcourt players, but the center by committee isn't working.The most logical choice here would be to take a big man, a guy like Patrick Ewing, David Robinson, George Mikan or Robert Parrish.But, Jerry Sloan, who isn't big on bigs, takes a Jerry Sloan guy who shares his given name. With the 14th pick, the Jazz select Jerry West.
15.New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets (from Milwaukee) - Chris Paul has a running mate in Karl Malone, who they drafted with their 12th pick.P.J. Brown isn't getting any younger, and the Hornets decide to choose the most athletic center remaining, a guy who knows how to play with other great players and make it work.The Hornets select David Robinson.
16.Chicago Bulls - Are they really certain Kirk Hinrich and Ben Gordon are the right guys to play with Wilt?The Bulls are convinced that they can make it work, but decide they want a pass first point guard and make a move towards becoming the most powerful paint team in the league by trading this pick to the L.A. Clippers for Elton Brand and Sam Cassell.Elgin Baylor, who loves Elgin Baylor, picks Elgin Baylor at 16 for the Clips.
17.Indiana Pacers - The Pacers are about Larry Bird and Rick Carlisle.Tough, hard-nosed and competitive.Carlisle and Bird decide they can continue to work with Jermaine O'Neal at the power forward position and Jamaal Tinsley at the point. Peja is drugstore cotton soft, but can score the basketball. The Pacers need help at the center spot, and briefly flirt with the idea of unloading O'Neal to Sacramento to re-obtain Brad Miller.In the end, Bird, Carlisle and the Pacers go Celtic tough taking John Havlicek.
18.Washington Wizards - Gilbert Arenas is a light it up point guard and Antwan Jamison and Caron Butler are dependable scorers. Centers, Brendan Haywood, Peter John Ramos and Calvin Booth are the league's most highly paid and ugliest cheerleaders. Now they have the ugliest center in NBA history, besides Paul Mokeski, to go with the ugliest cheerleaders/backup centers.Georgetown alum, Patrick Ewing, is their pick.
19.Sacramento Kings - The Kings like their pieces as evidenced by their unwillingness to trade Brad Miller for Jermaine O'Neal. With Mike Bibby, Bonzi Wells and the emerging Kevin Martin in the backcourt and Ron Artest and Brad Miller up front, their need is power forward. The Kings love Kevin McHale at this pick, but are too intrigued by a Barkley-Artest frontcourt to pass on "The Round Mound of Rebound."The Maloof brothers, who are chasing Mark Cuban for the most visible owner in the league award, are certain this pick will give the organization more controversial airtime than any team in the history of the game.The question now is this:Who will pay more money in fines next season, Artest or Sir Charles?
20.New York Knicks (From Denver) - The worst team in basketball with some great pieces in place.The Knicks fire the nagging Larry Brown and attempt to lure Pat Riley back to the Big Apple.Keeping Starbury and Stevie Francis, the Knicks want Riley and his Laker version of Showtime and not his Knick version of Slowtime.Riley decides to stay in Miami. Undeterred, the Knicks hire the wacky, unconventional Don Nelson to head up their wacky, unconventional new-look team.Is there a doctor in the house?There is now.The Knicks get Roosevelt's own, Julius Erving.
21.Phoenix Suns (From LA Lakers) - The Suns get this pick from the Lakers, a team that has shown them exactly what it is they need during their first round series this year.Their need is obvious.They need size. Amare Stoudemire will be back next year, and the Suns like him at power forward. With perimeter shooters at every position, they will continue to light teams up from the outside next year.Their run and gun brand of basketball is thrilling and fills arenas, but the half-court game wins come playoff time. The Suns, with this pick, automatically become a great half-court basketball team selecting Robert Parish.
22.New Jersey Nets (From LA Clippers) - The Nets have back-to-back picks and Jason Kidd.The Nets, taking a lesson from the Nets, and the always dependable Jason Kidd, go for steady and select Kevin McHale.
23.New Jersey Nets - The Nets' starting lineup for next year looks like this: Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, Richard Jefferson, Kevin McHale, and a guy by the name of Wes Unseld.
24.Memphis Grizzlies - Their first off-season move will be to send Mike Fratello packing. This very soft team hires Chuck Daly and decides to improve their backcourt and their toughness by picking Bob Cousy.
25.Cleveland Cavaliers - The Cavaliers' LeBron James will be one of the NBA's greatest players of all time. He is Oscar Robertson with Randy Moss' athleticism.LeBron can play every position on the court. The Cavs need to get tougher defensively, and tougher overall, to compete against teams like the Pistons and the Heat. When looking for toughness, Cavs' management watch miles of game film and are still uncertain of their pick until they view Game 7 of the 1970 Knicks-Lakers NBA Championship. They don't watch the game tape.Seeing Willis Reed limp out of the locker room and onto the Madison Square Garden floor is enough to convince them he is their guy.
26.Los Angeles Lakers- Kobe Bryant, like LeBron James, will be named as one of the NBA's greatest players after his playing days are done. Phil Jackson won 9 NBA championships without the benefit of a great point guard.Jackson may be able to live with Smush Parker at the point, but may not be as patient with Kwame Brown in the post. Wouldn't matter in this draft if his post player is Shaq or Wilt.In this draft, Jackson finds a kindred spirit, a soul mate, a best friend, a leader in a Jerry Garcia sense, and Luke Walton's father. The Lakers select Bill Walton.
27.Phoenix Suns - Their effort to get tougher and better in the half-court game improved by picking Robert Parish at number 21. The Suns' get even tougher picking Dave DeBusschere, arguably the toughest forward in the history of the NBA.
28.Dallas Mavericks - Avery Johnson's attention to detail and emphasis on defense has paid dividends in the "Big D," as the Mavs' big-time D gives them a legitimate shot to win the Western Conference this year. With all the parts in place for several runs in the West, Johnson loves both Dave Cowens and Nate Thurmond.In the end, Johnson decides he loves Thurmond's talent more than he loves Cowens' hustle and determination.
29.New York Knicks (From San Antonio) - Did I mention the Knicks and Don Nelson are wacky? With Starbury, Stevie Francis and Dr. J in the lineup, this team already has enough offense, but this is Don Nelson's team now. Nelson may not promise championships, but he does deliver excitement. The Knicks pick here is "The Big E," Elvin Hayes.
30.Portland Trail Blazers - The Blazers, learning from their 22-year old mistake picked MJ with the number 1 pick.As great as he was in Chicago, even MJ needed a sidekick to get him over the hump and win championships.Hey, the Blazers are getting really good at this draft thing now!With the last pick in the first-round the Portland Trail Blazers select Scottie Pippen.
Stay tuned for the second round of this fantasy draft later this week, unless my obsession becomes like that of Phaedrus' and I am committed to a hospital for rest.
A SPORTING LIFE, MEDICORE FAME BRUSHING AND ADVICE TO YOU DARN BLOGGING KIDS
I've learned that angels come in many shapes and sizes, and to avoid those angels who drink whiskey and attend cockfights with loose women.
I've learned that the person who claims "rainbows are a reflection of God throwing up after a night on the town with the devil" is probably a cynic and should be avoided.
When I was in junior high school, my basketball coach sent me to a Denver talent agency to try out for a part in the movie One on One.The movie starred Robbie Benson as a talented, yet na
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman made it clear before the playoffs began this year that he expected officials to call the games as they had throughout the regular season. Penalties committed in the playoffs will be called penalties, as opposed to playoffs past where referees allowed players to play the game without the fear of being sent to the box for borderline infractions.In sudden-death playoff overtimes prior to this year, the "no funeral no foul rule" was in place.This change in NHL philosophy was designed, in part, to mirror the games played in the regular season and help the top seeds advance through the playoffs. Traditionally, top seeds have had difficulty with the lower seeds in the playoffs and this was due in part to the lack of referee involvement. This is why the NHL playoffs are unique to the world of professional sports. It remains the one sport with a best-of-7 format where lower seeds have traditionally advanced deep into the playoffs.
The playoffs thus far have been true to form with the exception of the Dallas-Colorado series and the Detroit-Edmonton series.Dallas and Detroit were the two best teams in the West, but both teams have been eliminated.Detroit is "HockeyTown" and Dallas, with one Stanley Cup championship team, is still relatively new to the league.I'm still not convinced that hockey in Texas is a great idea, but it appears that the Stars aren't going anywhere soon.
Texas is about humidity and football, rodeos and football, Hemis and football, Stetsons and football, cowboy boots and football, football and, well, football.Texas locals say you can go to any Dairy Queen in the state and stand in line with 5 Division 1 football prospects.It is a society devoted to football.While watching games 1, 2 and 5 of the Dallas-Colorado playoff series, I noticed on several occasions during the game that the fans in Dallas cheered at inappropriate times.I realized that the fans in Dallas need a primer to study in the off-season to help them better understand the game and I'm here to offer up a cheat sheet:
1.First Line Unit - In hockey, this is a team's best group of players.It does not mean that your wife just won front-row tickets to a monster truck show.
2.Kick Save - This is when the goalie uses his pads to "kick" the puck away from his goal.It does not mean that a bunch of guys found an illegal immigrant and kicked his butt all the way back to Mexico to save American jobs.
3.Perfect Line Execution - This is when a team changes its "lines" or group of players with other players on the ice as the game is in progress without giving up a goal or being penalized for having too many men on the ice.It does not mean lining up convicted death-row prisoners and giving them lethal injections at 20 minute intervals.
4.Glove Save - This is when the goalie catches the puck in his glove preventing a goal.It is not the slang term for what a diaphragm does to prevent a pregnancy.
5.Stanley Cup - This is the trophy awarded to the team that wins the championship in the NHL.It is not a cup made by the Stanley Tool Company that Texans wear around their necks to catch the drool that runs off their chins while changing the television remote.
6.The Original Six - This is the name given to the NHL's original six league members.It does not refer to Billy The Kid, Sam Houston, Butch Cassidy, Davey Crockett, Wyatt Earp and Daniel Boone.
7.Canuck - Is a slang term for a Canadian, and not the name of the guy who parks your car at a fancy restaurant. That person is called a valet.
8.The Mighty Ducks - This is an NHL franchise located in Anaheim, California, and is not a cinematic revelation of great purpose and importance in the same vein as Citizen Kane.
9.Shutout - This is the term given to a team that does not allow its opponent to score during a game.It is not the term all Texans use to describe their college application results.
10.Toronto - This is a city in Canada and home to the Maple Leafs, it is not the name of Tonto's younger brother who died due to complications associated with alcoholism.
11.Expansion - This is the term used to describe a team that is new to the league.It is not what happens to the sphincter muscle after eating too many bowls of chili.
12.Face-Off - This is the method of starting play in hockey by the dropping of the puck by the official between the sticks of two opposing players standing one stick length apart with stick blades flat on the ice.It is not the method your wife or girlfriend uses to remove several pounds of makeup from her face before going to bed at night.
13.Hooking - This is a penalty occurring when a player attempts to impede the progress of another player by hooking any part of the opponent's body with the blade of his stick.It is not sending your wife out to walk the streets for money as an income supplement, or a way to purchase NASCAR tickets.
14.Sniper - This is a hockey term reserved for superb goal scorers. It is not the term used for Texas' most famous sniper, Charles Whitman, who gunned down several UT coeds from the school's bell tower.
15.Vancouver- A city in Canada and home to the Canucks (See Canuck above), and not the term given to a Dutch prostitute's money maker (prostitution is legal in Amsterdam).
16.Mucking and Grinding - The term used for a team's hardworking, less talented players.This isn't what Texan men do with their wives in bed after having a few too many drinks.
17.Cross-Checking - This is a penalty given to a player when he holds his stick in both hands and drives the shaft into an opponent.It is not a term for Czechlosvakian transvestites.
18.Spearing - Occurs when a player illegally jabs, or even just attempts to jab, the point of his stick blade into another player's body.It is not what citizens of poverty-stricken, Third World countries do to get their dinner.
19.Zamboni - A machine used to prepare the ice surface between periods, and is not a fancy dish served up at the Olive Garden.
20.Lighting the Lamp - Term used to describe what a great goal scorer does, and not what the bug-zapper hanging from the back porch does to mosquitoes.
21.Fore-Checking - Means to check or harass an opponent who has the puck in the defensive zone to and keep the opponents in their end of the rink while trying to gain control of the puck.It isn't looking for an Adams-Apple before going home with a woman picked up at a bar.
22.Boarding - In hockey, this is an infraction occurring when a player uses any method to throw an opponent violently into the boards.It is also what Texans do to get on the Greyhound when they go on family vacations.
23.Assist - Is a pass or passes which lead to a score.It is not the term used when your buddy drops some Roofies into a woman's drink to help you score.
24.Top Shelf - A goal scored by going high into the net, and not where Texans place their GED certificates.
25.Two-Line Pass - An infraction characterized by passing the puck to a teammate over two lines, and not trying to pick up a woman across the room while line dancing.
26.Norway - This is a Scandinavian country that sends its best hockey players to the NHL.It is not a pyramid scheme modeled after Amway.
27.Pad Save - A save made by the goalie by using his pads.It is not the Texan woman practice of saving her tampon after every third period.
28.Backcheck - Is an attempt by a player, on his way back to his defensive zone, to regain the puck from the opposition by checking or harassing an opponent who has the puck, and is not what you do when you see yourself a fine looking woman and check out her hind-end.
29.Crease - Is a semi-circular area with a 6-foot radius in front of the opening of the goal, and is not a roll of fat in the mid-section that you can use to store candy and other assorted sugary foods.
30.Defensive Zone - This is the zone or area nearest a team's goal, and is not the "invisible force field" Texan men put up like a superhero when their significant others ask them to share their feelings.
31.Delayed Penalty - Is a penalty against a team that has only 4 players on the ice, assessed only when one of its players gets out of the penaltybox and is not waiting for the sentencing portion of your trial.
32.Double Minor - Is a type of minor penalty given for certain accidental infractions that result in an injury to another player or for certain deliberate attempts to injure an opponent that are unsuccessful; penalty time of 4 minutes is served, double the time of a normal minor penalty, and it is not a M
This past year the NBA instituted a rule requiring the minimum age a player can be drafted to 19 years of age and added a stipulation that a player must attend college for at least one year before being eligible to play in the league.
This new requirement established by David Stern and the NBA is in direct violation of employment laws established by the United States Supreme Court in 1989, by a 6-3 vote in Howser v. United States.For those of you unfamiliar with the landmark decision, the case involved a talented young medical student by the name of Doug "Doogie" Howser who was denied employment at the hospital near his home because of his age.Although Howser graduated from the Princeton Medical School and passed the medical boards, he was deemed too young by Dr. Alvin Garrett to work at the hospital.
Howser sued the Eastman Medical Center claiming that a person's right to employment is not age specific, but is specific only to the individual's right to "effectively do the job at hand regardless of the age of the professional."He took his case to the Supreme Court after losing his case in state court.In a scathing opinion, Justice Byron White, who was known as "Whizzer" when he played football for the University of Colorado, writing for the majority, emphasized that, "the case before us is not about age at all, but is about the right of an individual to participate in his chosen profession after meeting all of the requirements of the profession.Dr. Howser is not a typical 14-year old boy.Dr. Howser graduated from secondary school at the age of 5, graduated college at 9, and the Princeton Medical School at the age of 13.His age is of no consequence in this matter.What is of consequence is his ability to execute the duties of a doctor. By graduating from medical school and passing the board exam requirements that every doctor must pass, he is indeed qualified and should not be denied employment at any hospital in the United States of America."
Writing for the minority was Chief Justice William Rehnquist, who was 65-years of age at the time. Justice Rehnquist used his age, and health issues associated with people his age, in his dissenting opinion:"Age is absolutely an issue in this case.I'm not certain that a physician as young as Mr. Howser has the emotional maturity to deal with certain delicate health screens such as pap smears and prostate exams.Additionally, it may very well be a physical issue.One must ask the following questions:Are Mr. Howser's fingers long enough to properly execute a prostate exam, and if so, can he conduct the exam without giggling like a child?I think we, as Justices, must make certain that our citizens receive giggle-free medical care; the giggle-free care that only physicians over the age of 25 can provide. "
The NBA needs to brace for what is now known in employment law circles as a "Doogie Challenge."Currently, less than 4% of the league is comprised of players who come directly from the high school ranks. This is a small number of players.In today's NBA, players can enter the draft without an agent to test their projected value and then go to college, or back to their original college, without being penalized.In addition to this safeguard, NBA general managers are reluctant to draft kids out of high school unless they are convinced they can be players in the league, and in almost every instance, teams drafting kids out of high school have made the commitment to help them mature both on and off the court.They get more attention as players and people than do guys who have played in college for 4 years and who may also lack the maturity that comes with being a young millionaire.The evidence is clear that the kids drafted out of high school in the last 10 years are solid players and solid citizens.
There are no laws prohibiting kids from dropping out of high school to work at McDonald's, and there are no laws preventing 18-year old kids from joining the military. Why is it that our society has a problem with African-American teenagers playing pro basketball and 14-year old physicians treating patients in hospitals, and no real intellectual difficulty in allowing high school dropouts to make french-fries or become 18-year old cannon fodder?Why is it that a McDonald's All-American cannot seek immediate employment in the NBA, but a high school dropout can get immediate employment at a McDonald's?
Business owners should be elated when young African-Americans enter the NBA with multi-million dollar contracts and the remarkable purchasing power that comes with NBA money.As a hypothetical, let's assume that the Portland Trail Blazers are allowed to draft a high school phenom this year as a top 5 pick in the draft.The kid signs a contract worth $25 million over a 5 year period.With the help of a smart accountant, the kid could conceivably take home nearly $3 million per year after taxes.This will allow the kid to purchase a million-dollar home which will need to be furnished, putting thousands of dollars in the pockets of those involved with the real estate and home furnishing industries.This kid will also be in the market for big-screen televisions, stereo equipment, CDs, video games, automobiles, clothes, jewelry and other big-ticket items.He will also spend money at restaurants, night clubs, movie theaters and video stores.This hypothetical kid becomes a money-making and money-spending machine.The local economy will thrive because of his ability to play in the NBA right out of high school.
Now, let's examine the life of a high school dropout working at a Portland McDonald's.This kid, working a typical 40 hour week, will make approximately $15,080 a year which is just above the poverty line set for Oregon residents.This kid will be forced to live in an apartment complex that may be subsidized, in part, with federal and state tax money to assist residents with various physical, mental and financial limitations. He will have to choose between buying a bus pass or a bicycle at a garage sale; he will have to choose between renting a video (assuming he has a television) and buying or renting a video game (assuming he has the equipment to play a video game); and, he won't be in the market to spend money on automobiles, jewelry or any other big-ticket items.Taking a date to a restaurant or a night club will be out of the question, and because movie tickets are about $8 a person, this kid may be able to afford to go to the movies just once or twice a month.After a few years of extreme poverty this kid may decide to get a GED and qualify for financial aid provided through tax money to go to college.Or this kid may decide to burglarize homes, get caught and spend time in an Oregon prison, which is also paid for by taxpayers.
To those people who think kids need to play college basketball at least one year before entering the NBA, or need to be able to use a Norelco at least once a week before becoming paid physicians, I offer up a Kobe Bryant-Doogie Howser comparison to lawyers interested in taking on the NBA with a "Doogie Challenge."As I illustrate in this comparison, both Kobe and Howser have had some difficulties, but these difficulties manifested many years after they were in their chosen profession:
Rookie Years:Kobe plays in a total of 71 games with the Lakers, starting in 6 contests.He averages 7.6 points a game in a learning year.Kobe notices that many guys on the team drink, but he devotes his life to the game of basketball and shuns underage drinking.He briefly thinks that a trade to another team may be beneficial to his career.
Dr. Howser moves away from home during his rookie year and confronts issues like underage beer drinking.Dr. Howser, like Kobe, is in a learning mode at the hospital and his most serious operation is an appendectomy. He flirts with the idea of leaving the hospital for a pediatrics group.
Years 2-6:Bryant becomes the youngest player to play in an NBA All-Star game at age 19 and becomes an All-Star game fixture after his debut.He wins his first NBA championship at the age of 21, and realizes that basketball is a business and not everyone plays for the love of the game.He seeks outwardly in his life for the first time and questions his genius on the basketball court.He helps the Lakers win 3 consecutive championships during this time frame and marries Vanessa Lane in 2001. Howser, during this period in his career, is confused when his hospital turns away the poor and the homeless for paying customers. Howser realizes medicine is a business.Unlike Bryant, however, he is of the belief that winning isn't everything if winning is about greed.He begins to ask himself if his genius is a blessing or a curse and seeks life answers outside the world of medicine.
Years 7-10:This is the point in time where Bryant and Howser take different paths in their careers and in their lives.Bryant, while questioning both his gift and Lakers' management, has a period of turmoil professionally and personally.He is accused of sexual assault and his feud with Shaquille O'Neal and Phil Jackson leads to O'Neal being traded to Miami and Jackson without a job.The case against Bryant is dropped, he makes up with both O'Neal and Jackson and encourages Jackson to again coach the Lakers.Bryant responded this year by leading the Lakers to the playoffs averaging over 35 points a game.The turmoil he experienced on and off the court happened well after he was drafted straight out of high school.Howser continues the status-quo at the hospital and does not have a Kobe blowup.He also remains immune from prosecutors, since he is not accused of sexual assault.In fact, Howser remains a virgin, but has a serious thing for an old baby-sitter and several other women.
It's surprising that the NBA minimum draft age debate gets more attention than does the high school dropout issue, especially with the league's "Be Cool, Stay in School" message, and even more surprising is that most people agree with the NBA's decision to deny employment to qualified players.One would think Americans would champion achievement and allow the best of the best to play with the best under any circumstance. But it appears a teenager's place - when his only real skill out of high school is on the basketball court -is in a fast-food kitchen behind the fry-cooker.
While watching the Nuggets-Clippers game last Saturday night, I noticed that the Denver Nuggets employ Ruben Patterson, Reggie Evans and Eduardo Najera. These three guys should never be on the same basketball team. I had a vision of chaos while imagining the three on the court at the same time. Najera shoots and misses. Patterson pokes Evans' eye out as they both go for Najera's errant shot. Najera, following his wild miss, runs out of control towards the ball and breaks a bone in Patterson's neck, tearing his ACL in the process, as he falls to the floor.
After the image left my mind I realized that these guys are 3 of the most talented basketball players on the planet, although the talent level of each is somewhat meager by NBA standards.
A guy has a better chance of getting struck by lightning twice in a lifetime than he does of striking it rich in the NBA.
Criticism leveled at NBA players over the last 15 years by the media, fans and observers is unmatched in comparison to athletes in other sports. Thugs. Criminals. Lazy. Selfish. Undisciplined. These are some of the tamer attacks and at times, one can argue that these assorted labels fit some of the actions of some of the players. One thing, however, is evident. The NBA may be the most difficult job market to penetrate in the world.Players in the NBA are born with a special genius; a gift not at all unlike those of world-class musicians or prize-winning novelists and poets.With genius comes misunderstanding.Oftentimes, our society lacks the insight to understand certain personality traits and behavior which accompanies virtuoso performers.This isn't about condoning or excusing bad behavior, but is about sharing firm truths about NBA players that people may not appreciate.
A guy has a better chance of riding a camel across the Mojave Desert in a shirt made of Reynolds Wrap and surviving than he does of surviving in the NBA.
Canadian-born physician and minister, James Naismith, hung a peach basket in Springfield, Massachusetts, in December 1891, and invented the game of basketball to keep kids from suffering through the long New England winters. Because of the game's convenience, it quickly became the most popular game in the country. Farm kids, inner-city kids, suburban kids, rich kids, poor kids, black kids and white kids all have had equal access to this sport. Naismith's original aim of keeping New England kids warm and physically active in the winter months has evolved into worldwide Biddy Leagues, YMCA leagues, AAU Summer Leagues and even Midnight Basketball leagues aimed at keeping inner-city youths out of trouble and out of danger. Basketball is the one sport every American male can say they have attempted to play and, because of various athletic shortcomings, eliminate as a potential career path.
A guy has a better chance of hooking up with Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan and Angelina Jolie at some point in his life than he does of hooking up in the NBA.
Estimates of worldwide participation in the sport at any given time vary, but the number is estimated at upwards of 400 million people playing with 212 Affiliated National Federations on six continents. Statistics indicate that there are approximately 4,000,000 kids playing organized basketball at the pre-high school level in the United States.Nearly every high school in the United States fields a varsity basketball team and approximately 500,000 boys participated at the varsity level this past season. At the collegiate level there are approximately 7,000 scholarship players at Division I and Division II schools.
There are just 437 players in the NBA.
A guy has a better chance of contracting Salmonella from eating a Hershey bar than he does of getting an NBA contract.
Of these 437 players, 82 are international players representing 38 different countries.NBA scouts and GMs don't miss on potential players anywhere in the world. If there is a 7'4"spear fisherman working off the coast of Vietnam, they'll find him and see if he can play. If there is a cobbler's apprentice in Romania with a 52-inch vertical, he's going to get a tryout. If the janitor at Goteburg High School in Goteburg, Sweden spreads the word that one of the locals hit 1,400 free throws in a row, you can bet an NBA scout will be on the way. Or, if there is a Street Basketball- a tough and gritty, jazzy and freewheeling basketball art form played in places like Germany, Spain, Israel, Puerto Rico and Argentina and made famous at Harlem's Rucker Park - phenom anywhere in the world, he will be found and offered the chance to compete for a roster spot.Dirk Nowitzki was discovered playing Street Basketball by former Dallas Mavericks' coach, Don Nelson, and Shaquille O'Neal was initially noticed playing Street Basketball in Germany where his father was stationed by the U.S. Army.
A guy has a better chance of getting an STD from touching a doorknob at a church than he does of getting to the NBA.
Current estimates suggest there are over 1,000,000 lawyers in the United States. In 2000, there were 813,770 physicians in the United States according to data from the Bureau of Health Professions.
The simple truth is that it is much easier to be a doctor or a lawyer in this country than it is to make it to the NBA. This truth is even more staggering when you consider how much more competitive it is to become an NBA player than it is to become either a lawyer or a doctor. Law school and medical school is a pipe dream for most American kids. These schools are comprised primarily of people with means; people who have been entitled to the best educational advantages since birth. Every kid in this country has had an opportunity to be an NBA player.
A guy has a better chance of successfully hiding a $500 a day crack habit as a cameraman for the 700 Club than he does of being a success in the NBA.
Imagine if every kid had the same opportunity to be a lawyer as they did to be an NBA player. Imagine that every school had a courtroom replica in their gymnasiums instead of basketball hoops and every playground contained a judge's bench, defense and prosecution tables and a jury box - instead of basketball courts - and people got together to play pick-up lawyer. Imagine law leagues for kids where imaginary cases are argued and millions of children participate in local YMCAs and recreation centers.Imagine varsity law teams competing at the high school and college levels and after graduation there are only 437 jobs available. A competitive scale like this would certainly help to cut down on the number of frivolous lawsuits and lawyer jokes in this country.
A guy has a better chance of cross-dressing in prison and remaining a virgin than getting the chance to complete a crossover dribble in the NBA.
The NBA is simply made up of the best of the best, which is far different from other international sports such as hockey, tennis and golf to name just three.These sports are inaccessible to the vast majority of kids around the world. Wayne Gretzky, as an example, is arguably the best hockey player in the history of the game, but he never had to compete against inner-city kids from say, Houston, Texas (or any kids from the state of Texas), or inner-city kids from Montreal for that matter, because the game is too cost-prohibitive for the masses and ice skating rinks are few and far between across the globe.So one is left to conclude Wayne Gretzky is the greatest hockey player to ever play the game from the limited talent pool available.
A guy has a better chance of making a living by buying Lotto scratch cards and winning every now and then than he does of making a living in the NBA.
Every player on an NBA roster has faced astronomical odds to be a part of the league, including guys like Eduardo Najera, Reggie Evans and Ruben Patterson.No matter how hard David Stern tries to make these guys just like us, be it through a dress-code or any other rule he may try to impose on the players, they are not like us and will never be like us.No one should excuse or condone illegal or outrageous behavior from any NBA player, but before people start pointing a finger at these guys for behavior that they find personally or morally objectionable they ought to begin from the level of respect each player has earned, instead of treating them with malice reserved for collection agents and convicted felons.Go on and take a shot at these guys when it's deserved, but tip your cap in reverence before aiming.They ain't like you.
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