Things have been a little too serious lately. I was putzing around on the computer, but I really didn't feel like writing anything.  My kids were watching cartoons and as I looked at the TV I thought I "recognized" somebody.  Sure enough it was an animated adolescent Oscar De La Hoya! Then I got to thinking. Were there any other cartoon character to sports personality resemblances floating through my brain? I came up with a few.

 

Tell me that Miguel, from the cartoon "Maya and Miguel", isn't a dead ringer for Oscar De La Hoya. And they're both Mexican too? What a coincidence. They could be twins.

 

 

 

I've heard Don Zimmer referred to as Popeye from time to time, but personally he always reminded me more of Elmer Fudd. It's rabbit season...no Pedro Martinez season. Actually, it's "look out and duck" season. Temper, temper boys.

 

 

 

The dissheveled dark hair of Fred Flintstone and Mark Cuban, along with the constant 5 o'clock shadow are definite matches. However, anger management is the most eerie similarity if you ask me.

 

 

 

Listening to Fred from Scooby-Doo dissect a mystery gets real annoying sometimes. Kind of like listening to Phil Simms dissect a football game. They both have that unintentionally condescending tone about them. Problem is, they're usually right.

 

 

 

Here's a couple of really nice guys who both just happen to have egg heads. Charlie Brown and Matt Hasselbeck each love to throw the ball around. Neither one gets the proper respect they deserve. Aaugggghhh!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

This next one might have come before the time of some of the younger bloggers. Rollie Fingers was a premier "swashbuckler" of a closer back in the day. Like Captain Hook, Fingers was reputed to have a wild side.

 

 

 

Orel Hershiser was one of the more workmanlike pitchers baseball has ever seen. He looks just enough like the most famous cartoon workman to satisy me. Can we fix it? Yes they can.

Anyway, that's all I got. Hope you saw the same similarities that I did.

 

Barry Bonds is going to break Hank Aaron's all-time home run record and from the looks of things it's going to happen much sooner than later.  After missing almost the entire season in 2005, followed up by a sub par, gimpy campaign in 2006, many detractors openly hoped that this indicated his body was breaking down from years of suspected steroid abuse. Thus far this season the future home run king has played vintage baseball reminiscent of what we came to expect. He is hitting for average (.338), power (11 HR/23RBIs) and showing he still has the best plate discipline in the game (31 walks). These numbers project to 56 HRs, 116 RBIs and 157 walks. 

Which leads to me wondering.  If he can play this well "cleanly" at age 42, then who's to say that he was incapable of reaching his zenith of 73 bombs at age 36 without "cheating"? Maybe he is just that good and had a dream season for the ages.  Although anything is possible, I would wager that Bonds is drug free at this time. With those prior allegations of possible steroid use, along with a positive drug test earlier this year for amphetamines, one should safely assume that Barry is legitimately putting up these huge numbers. He is probably the most chemically scrutinized athlete in professional sports after all.  

While we are on the subject of assumptions, we can readily admit that all of his critics and even some of his supporters believe that Barry was indeed doping. They cite the "evidence" of weight gain, increased muscle mass, head & foot growth, new heights of long ball prowess, a surly disposition and an injury plagued 2005-2006 as their smoking gun.  It does look pretty damning when viewed through a filter of guilt, but it still is ALL perception. We could also say that most people gain weight as they get older, that age 40 is considered the new 30, that many athletes continue to improve with practice, that Barry has always been surly, and that injuries are a common part of the game. As for head and foot growth? That certainly doesn't seem to happen often, but it does NOT tell us exactly when or for how long Bonds used steroids (assuming that he did).

 

No one other than Bonds and his closest associates know when and for how long Bonds cheated. For the sake of theory, let us state that Bonds knowingly used steroids and/or steroid based products. As we know steroids increase muscle mass while helping the body recover from injury and other physical stressors. They also say that steroid use wears away specific tissues in the body, which increases the risk of certain injuries. Seems to me that a steroid user would be negating one presumed physical benefit with an equally dangerous physical risk. You can't play if you get hurt as a result of your actions.  If that's the case with Bonds' recent injuries, one could argue that his career home run total is right about where it should be. This is all speculation, but if he hit X-number of steroid aided homeruns, it's very possible he lost even more home runs during the last 2 seasons when his body began to break down once he went clean. Sounds like it could have been an "even trade" to me. If you keep in mind that Barry always had far more than "warning track" power, his performance was probably enhanced less than it was ultimately hindered. In fact, maybe he'd have stayed healthy throughtout and  already passed Aaron if he hadn't used steroids as most people believe. We just can't say and that's my whole point. There is almost nothing that anyone knows for sure

 

Well then, what do we know for absolute certainty? We know that Bonds has been a heck of a baseball player, maybe the best ever, with or without drugs. We know that he tested positive for amphetamines. We know that according to baseball itself, a huge amount of other players did so also. We know that we don't know who these other offenders are, but conveniently (not coincidentally) it was Barry who had his name leaked after what was a "confidential" first time offense according to league policy. Why not denounce the whole lot of them instead of singling him out? Is it really all about the home run record?

 

When thinking about records, let's remember that they are only set to be broken. In fact we typically celebrate and rejoice when a new mark is established. However, this isn't Ruth's baseball anymore with illegal boozing and bold debauchery by The Babe during the prohibition era. As a matter of fact it isn't Hank Aaron's baseball either, where the ugliness of racism tarnished his accomplishment. Could you blame Hank if he used illegal "greenies" with all the hell he had to deal with?  No, this is Barry Bonds' baseball. He lives in a world where lives are gladly ruined by a media that kowtows to the almighty dollar because sensationalism sells. He plays in a sport that will readily sell him up the river if it means preserving their so-called integrity. How come?  

 

I'll tell you why. It's because of what he stands for. He's the impending all-time home run king and a perceived jerk at that. It's a national witch-hunt fed by the 2-faced media. Who cares about the low-level potion makers when you can bring down the head warlock?  Besides, they don't want the truth. They couldn't handle the truth. If the truth ever came out, the doors to the Hall of Fame might have to be closed forever to other legends of the game. Can you imagine if one day we learned that Cal Ripken's iron man streak was a result of performance enhancers? How about if the longevity of Roger Clemens isn't due to natural causes? What if Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine are still able to throw quality "junk" because of some junk they've put in their bodies over the years. Has anyone ever explained statistical anomalies such as Brady Anderson's 50 homeruns in 1996?

 

Do you think the commissioner would really want information like that to get out anyway? It may not be the players I mentioned, but you'd best believe they have a long list filled with many names. Baseball will give them Bonds instead if necessary. Discredit him and spare the others, for he alone could satisfy the angry mob's hunger for justice and save other parts of baseball's history . If that is the type of justice you support, then grab your torch. I say let Barry have his petty record and concentrate on preserving the future.  His deeds are in the past and perhaps hidden forever.  His inevitable home run record on the other hand? He's just holding it temporarily until someone else comes along to claim it. Until then he will be king and rightfully so...even if it's wrong.

Make It An Even 800...

And I Don't Even Like Him

 

 

 

 

Hey fight fans. As we know tonight is the big battle. Last week I wrote a "full length" article (meaning yes it is a bit long) on the De La Hoya-Mayweather fight. I figured I would post this for any people interested in boxing who missed it. If you have a minute, or five to ten, check it out. It provides background about the careers of both men. Click on the link below to read about it and chime in with any thoughts you may have on the biggest fight in a long, long time. Enjoy the match if you plan on watching.

http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/rivjo/2007/04/27/Battle_Of_The_Boys_Your_ALL_Inclusive_MegaFightNight_Preview

 

The only award for Mavericks fans this year: The "Oh Bozack" Award 

Plenty of time for playing with big bowling balls now. 

 Bozack: (urban dictionary) The sack-like structure that holds the testicles.

Well, well, well Mavericks fans. I'm so very glad to see that you received your comeuppance. After a fantastic regular season love affair and ride... you know...the one you just wouldn't stop talking about...it gives many of us great pleasure that now you will finally shut the hell up.

To think that just last year I was rooting hard-core for coach Avery Johnson's crew during the NBA Finals against Miami. I loved the make up of the Mavs, and truth be told a part of me still does. They looked like a team of destiny after getting past San Antonio and later being up 2-0 on the Heat. Then came the collapse, which unknowingly to me signified the beginning of something sweet about to go sour.

Wah, wah, wah...After the Finals were done the rest of the country had to listen as you guys droned on and on, week after week, about how you wuz robbed. The refs took it away from you... Dwayne Wade got to shoot too many free throws... It was a conspiracy by David Stern because he wanted Riley, Shaq and Flash to win the title. No, face it, the team choked, got beat or just went cold...you pick.

After awhile the incessant whining got old, even for you. Terrell Owens came to town, Julius Jones and Marion Barber were knocking people over, Romo-mania was running wild and the "Boys" made the playoffs. Too bad those new footballs were as slippery as a 2-game lead in the NBA Finals.

Back to basketball and the spawning of a "new breed" of Mavericks fans. Where did you no championship winning, one time perennial doormats of the league people learn to talk smack? I can't recall a more arrogant, loud mouthed, condescending bunch of fans ever materializing from virtually out of nowhere.  I guess I could understand if it came from Lakers fans, Spurs fans or even Heat fans. Hell, at least they've won something.  But you guys? All you won this year was a  "race" for the best regular season record in the league with 67 victories. What's that count for? Ask the 2001 Seattle Mariners who won 116 games in the regular season. Ask the 2004 Pittsburgh Steelers who went 15-1 in the regular season.  Ask UNLV who went 34-0 before losing in the 1991 NCAA tournament. It doesn't count for jack squat. 

To hear you insult other fans all season long, you would have thought that you'd been to the mountaintop before. You were especially hard on Phoenix Suns fans. "Your team sucks. They always lose in the playoffs cause they can't play any defense." How's that vaunted Mavericks "shut down D" holding up now after allowing the Warriors to run roughshod over them for 105 pts per game?

You were especially hard on Kobe Bryant and the Lakers. "Kobe is a selfish bum. He doesn't know how to make the other players better. The glory days are dead". Yeah, he's just arguably the best player in the league playing with half the teammates of any other squad out West. Disappearing Dirk might win MVP but he can't even sniff Kobe. Last night's game against the Warriors proves that.

You were especially hard on your dreaded instate rivals the Spurs. "We showed you who the best team was last year. Your window is officially closed and we're the ones who shut it." Congrats on finally being able to beat them for once, and barely at that. However, it seems that Tim Duncan and crew were the ones who knew how to deal with a high scoring, high flying, underdog after dropping the first game of a series at home. As we know, they're still balling.

As a matter of fact you were especially hard on just about any fan of any team that had the audacity to state anything contradictory to the superiority of the Mavericks. And if I hear one more person from Dallas say that they hate anything and everything associated with New York "just because", when they probably have never even been there, I think I just may go postal. That's a wonderful, non-judgmental, open-minded philosophy to carry around as you walk through life. Then again what do you expect from a place that has "Don't Mess With Texas" all over its highways.

You know, it's too bad. I really liked the Mavericks. Maybe next year you'll remember this bitter taste and conduct yourselves more accordingly. For now, as Bugs Bunny would say..."Shut up...Shuttin' up!" And remember, you deserved it.

Note: If you are a "nice" Mavericks fan don't get angry with me for enjoying your loss and rubbing it in ... blame them. You know exactly who they are.

 

 

 NOW?

They say that perception is everything. If that's true then what exactly do you make of Keyshawn Johnson? He really has been an extremely unique individual when you stop to reflect on his career. He's also been an enigma. When you think of every typical perception one might associate with a professional athlete, good and bad, chances are somebody once said, "Yep, that's Keyshawn".

Some might claim that Johnson was doomed to be a topic of debate from the very start.  The New York Jets not only chose him in the first round of the 1996 draft, but he was also the #1 overall selection that year. Unless he was going to be the second coming of Jerry Rice, chances are he'd never live up to the expectations associated with going first overall.  Making matters even more curious, how often is a wide receiver chosen in that spot? Then consider that wide receivers Marvin Harrison, Terrell Owens, Muhsin Muhammad, Joe Horn, Terry Glenn, Eric Moulds, Amani Toomer and Eddie Kennison were all chosen in that same draft, and you realize that not only did the Jets not draft the best player available, but they probably didn't even get the best man at that position.

 

Outside of Terrell Owens though, there hasn't been a more dynamic personality in the bunch than Johnson. Owens however is only interesting because of bizarre antics that hint at some form of emotional instability. Keyshawn on the other hand has mixed an extremely productive career with many memorable moments and sound bytes that are at least in the realm of "normalcy". These have left many of us genuinely confused as to what this man is really all about.

 From almost the very beginning, Johnson managed to alienate himself to teammates and the general public. He authored his now notorious book, "Just Give Me The Damn Ball!: The Fast Times and Hard Knocks of an NFL Rookie", after just one year in the league. In the book he referred to fan favorite, and fellow Jets receiver Wayne Chrebet, as a "midget".  He no doubt felt a bit embarrassed by the fact that the diminutive Chrebet caught 21 more passes than him during his rookie season. People were quick to label him an over-rated prima donna. As the test of time would prove, there have been very few receivers who could play Keyshawn's hard-nosed style. He's considered one of the best blockers to ever play the position and will do whatever it takes to win.

An unhappy Keyshawn later demanded a trade after 4 seasons in New York. Eager to play for a winner, a deal was brokered with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. During his last two years with the Jets he had caught 172 passes for 2,301 yards and 18 touchdowns. The Buccaneers immediately signed him to a six-year contract extension that made him the highest paid receiver in the league. In his second year with Tampa Bay he led the team with 106 catches, as well as to Super Bowl victory. Many fans in New York and around the country considered him a disloyal, materialistic crybaby who whined his way out of a contract. Others refused to argue with his end results and the bottom line. A championship.

 

The success in Tampa was short lived. As the fortunes of the team changed, the passionate Johnson began to butt heads with his equally volatile head coach Jon Gruden. After 10 games he was permanently benched for the remainder of the season because of his insubordinate conduct. He now added the dreaded tag, "team cancer" to his resume of extremes. That ensuing off-season he was traded to the Dallas Cowboys, where he reunited with former head coach Bill Parcells in 2004.  Odd that one coach in Gruden could detest Johnson, whereas another in Parcells considers him "one of the best players he has ever coached".

 

Well 3 years (two with Dallas and one with Carolina) 211 catches and 1 HUGE draft day embarrassment later, Keyshawn finds himself en route to a new home yet again. After being released for the second time in two years, he's headed to ports unknown. We don't know where, but we should find him playing his special brand of football this September. You see, as disliked, misinterpreted and overrated as he has been...Keyshawn is also widely respected, a straight shooter and as underrated a receiver that currently exists. A contending team looking for a dependable #2 wideout, or a loaded team who could utilize a 3rd-down chain-moving veteran in 3-receiver formations, would be wise to snatch him up. He is still talented enough to be a big difference maker on the right team. Will he humbly settle for being a role player though? At this juncture I would hope the answer is yes.

 

Keyshawn Johnson has had one hell of a strange career. He started off as a #1 overall pick and now finds himself unemployed (due to WR Dwayne Jarrett being drafted by Carolina and from Keyshawn's alma mater USC of all places). Sandwiched in between he has been considered a "diva" as well as a warrior, a cry baby as well as old school, a cancer as well as a leader, a malcontent as well as ambitious, and an overrated young star as well as an underrated veteran role player.  To put it simply, for better or worse, he has been all things and then some, but always one of a kind. For that he is special and I look forward to watching him play more.

 

Oh, and Keyshawn's 814 career catches (15th all-time) aren't bad either. When everything is all said and done, the Hall of Fame Committee is going to have a grand old time figuring him out. Look how long it took us. We've been there and back again with him, watching the entire way. 

 

?????