Of all the criticisms cast in the direction of Americans, one that holds the most truth is the accusation that we're a disinterested lot when one of our own is not taking center stage. Heavyweight boxing championships dominated by Eastern Europeans? The division must be devoid of any true talent. Soccer? It's a boring game for pansies who clearly have no athleticism other than that which translates to hacky-sack and kick ball. Hockey? Who cares? Hopefully my sarcasm is as recognizable as an Irish brogue.

The lack of American talent has apparently infiltrated the sport of tennis. Where have you gone John McEnroe? Jimmy Connors anyone? For the younger at heart, how about Mr. "Image is Everything" Andre Agassi or arguably the greatest player ever in Pete Sampras? Hell, I'd settle for a little Michael Chang right at the moment.

No, just like soccer, when it comes to anything of "international" importance it's the American women we have to train our eyes to right about now. Not that's there's anything wrong with that. The beautiful Heather Mitts anyone?

Thankfully we still have Venus Williams. In case you missed it she will be playing in the finals today at "Wimbledum" (looking for her 4th title on the grass in England). Wimbledon is only the most prestigious tennis tournament in the world. Yes, we Americans have the U.S. Open, but that only qualifies as a very distant second (at best) in the grand scheme of things. Truth be told, that red clay in the French Open is a far more challenging and interesting surface than those "hard" core(t) matches that transpire in Queens, NY. Admitting to being bested by France in anything is a hard pill to swallow. Even if it is just tennis.

It seems like just yesterday that Venus Williams burst upon the tennis scene. An outstanding African-American tennis player, and a female to boot, from Compton, California of all places...was simply unheard of. What wasn't there to like and cheer for?

But wait...along with her came a father/coach that the average American tennis fan just wasn't quite ready for. Her father, Richard Williams, all too well personified the skeptical, domineering, paranoid, angry black man stereotype that far too many have come to dislike. Forget about what neck of the woods she came from or how talented she was...she'd be judged by the over-protective and over-bearing actions of "Dear Old Dad".

To make matters worse she had a tennis playing younger sister. Serena was more friendly, more engaging, more lighthearted, more attractive and perhaps most importantly...more talented. Unlike Dominic Dimaggio and his rightfully more famous older brother Joe...or Joe Niekro and his superior knuckleballing elder sibling Phil...or even Phil Simms and his less able son Chris...or speaking of quarterbacks, Eli Manning and the overly scrutinized Peyton...Serena would easily go on to surpass big sister Venus in accomplishments. That's just not how things typically transpire. Usually the younger is forever cursed to live in the shadow of the relative that came before. Not in this case.

Well now it seems as though things have come full circle. Venus Williams is back in the limelight again. Entering Wimbledon she was ranked somewhere lower than a Boca Burger at a pork sausage convention. She was actually listed at 31st in the world to be exact. To put things in their proper perspective, Venus is the lowest seeded player ever to qualify for the finals in the most hallowed event of the tennis world. Coincidentally she held the previous mark when she was ranked 16th just two years ago in 2005. It must be that she truly loves the fish and chips.

All that stands between Venus and a 4th career Wimbledon title is surprising French finalist Marion Bartoli (ranked 20th). The upstart Bartoli toppled the #1 women's player in the world, Justine Henin in 3 sets. After Venus convincingly dispatched the talented and lovely Maria Sharapova in straight sets (6-1, 6-3) in the quarterfinals, and Ana Ivanovic of Serbia (6-2, 6-4) in the semifinals, one might think that the path is clear for her. How ironic and frustrating it is that a player from France stands in the way of American glory on the international scene. Must the people from the land of "Gay Paris always be a thorn in our side?

Whether you are a tennis fan or not...whether you like Serena better than Venus...whether you're still waiting for Anna Kournikova to stop sucking face with Enrique Iglesias...whether you just don't give a flying you know what... You do love your country don't you? Venus Williams has a chance to win Wimbledon, not just for herself, but also for our country.  We owe it to her to give a crap.

After lackluster performances by America in the World Baseball Classic, International Basketball Competitions, World Cup Soccer, Olympic Hockey, tic-tac-toe meets, hang man tournaments, World Series of Monopoly and what have you...let's all rally behind her.

She's our Venus...she's our fire...our desire...and the closest thing we have to a goddess on the mountaintop. Or a god for that matter. Just ask that slacker Andy Roddick who was eliminated again in an epic battle after being up 2 sets. Coming close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Git er done for once Roddick!

That 1980s girl group "Bananarama" was from England just like Wimbledon. It's not a coincidence. Go Venus!

(And if you don't know that song by Bananarama then that just tells you I'm getting old.) 

What's that saying again? I think it goes...every party has a pooper that's why they invited you. Or is it...someone always wants to rain on the parade? Seems to me that some people are damned if they do and damned if they don't. Take Roger Clemens for example. The Rocket has elevated modern pitching to heights from the distant past... he has aged as gracefully as fine wine and cheese...yet for many cheesy whiners he simply serves as a target of unjustified resentment.  

Last night Roger Clemens won his 350th game by pitching 8 innings of 2-hit ball to beat the Minnesota Twins. At the tender age of 44, Roger is showing that he continues to be better than most pitchers half his age. He doesn't throw quite as hard as he once did. Then again if he did people might start accusing him of using steroids without having any real evidence to support their claims.  In a moment where praise should be lauded upon him for his body of work, we find more fans lining up to hurl criticisms at the greatest pitcher of this generation. Actually make that two generations since he dominated the materialistic minded Big 80s as well as the Generation X 90s. If he manages to pitch until 2010 he'll be able to boast having chucked heaters in four different decades. 

It seems like just yesterday when former Boston Red Sox general manager Dan Duquette provided us with some tiny pearls of wisdom. Way back in the fall of 1996 he uttered these famous words: "We see Roger Clemens as a pitcher in the twilight of his career."  They do say that hindsight is 20:20 but history clearly proved that Mr. Duquette was either a blithering idiot or came from outer space. My guess would be that Dan is actually from Jupiter, where it takes 11 Earth years to travel around the sun...or approximately the same length of time that has passed from his dubious statement until now.

After being run out of Boston, the former 3-time Cy Young Award winner signed with the Toronto Blue Jays for 2 seasons, then played with the Yankees for 5 more and finally headed home to Texas where he spent 3 years with the Houston Astros. 4 Cy Young Awards, 158 wins, 2,040 strikeouts, 5 World Series appearances, and 2 Championships later...maybe Roger is finally approaching twilight as Dan Duquette watches on from the largest planet in our solar system.

Which begs these questions: 1) Why do so many dislike the best pitcher that most of us have ever seen? 2) What is wrong with some people in America? (Perhaps Duquette brought them all here with him.) Every reason I have come across is riddled with utter nonsense, hypocrisy or both. .

The "Roger Is A Mercenary" Theory: Not to get all Yoda with people who feel this way but when Roger's age you reach...waste your time you will not wish to do.  The man will turn 45 years old exactly one month from tomorrow. He has been pitching since 1984. He's started 695 baseball games not including the post-season. If he can pick and choose where he wants to play then so be it. He's earned it. Robert DeNiro, Tom Hanks and Denzell Washington don't have to audition for B-movies. Just sit back, relax and enjoy. Like rapper Main Source once said, "Watch Roger Do His Thing"... for just a little while longer anyway.

The "He's Overpaid" Excuse: Why does anyone care how much money Roger is making (Even if it is a rather fetching prorated wage of $28 million dollars this year)? In my humble opinion middle relievers who make $5 million dollars a year pitching mop up duty are pretty overpaid too. It's George Steinbrenner's money and he still has a lot left over. Check that...it's Roger's money now and he'd still have plenty if he were sitting at home. Would you have told Big George no thanks? Didn't think so. Besides, what do truckloads of cash have to do with a legend winning his 350th game? Nothing unless you're jealous...and last I checked he's not robbing any of us.  

The "Who Does He Think He Is?" Club: Let's approach this logically instead of with the all too popular knee-jerk reaction of the day. Roger does not want to go to spring training or pitch in the beginning of the season. Many view this as his way of saying that he is "above" the rest of the players on the team. Well, other than the fact that he is Roger Clemens and that thousands of extra fannies pack stadiums on days he pitches...he's worth no more than anyone else (Ha Ha). The reality is that during his last full season in 2005, his aging body finally betrayed him. Roger had been losing steam down the stretch and his hamstrings finally gave out when his team needed him most. Unfortunately he had be lifted after just 2 innings of painful and ineffective work during Game 1 of the World Series against the White Sox. Roger did not pitch again in the series. The Astros were swept 4 straight despite being outscored by only 6 runs total. Now you tell me...Would you want Clemens feeling fresh in spring training and April/May or would you want him feeling fresh in the post-season? (please refrain from any "the Yankees won't be in the post-season smack" for that is not the point) Clemens is a competitor and only he knows his body's current capabilities the best.

No matter how people feel about Roger (and the Yankees) the criticism of his motives to play are asinine. He's just doing what he's always done. That would be pitch baseball games and make absurd amounts of cash. If you have a problem with that then you should have a problem with all the younger athletes who play with far less passion than Roger and for all the wrong reasons. Unfortunately it seems that so many of us save our ire only for the cream of the crop and the lowest of the low...in other words for superstars who do not kowtow to our way of thinking and "thugs" we cannot relate to.

It's a tough world we live in. Many would say that some people just don't know right from wrong anymore. The problem is, whose way is right and whose way is wrong? I don't know how you see things, but as far as I'm concerned there are far too many mixed signals nowadays. If you ask me we certainly shouldn't be surprised, angered or appalled by the apparent epidemic of wild antics by athletes and celebrities that is infecting society. After all, it's our society that has manifested these pop-culture "Frankensteins" for lack of a better term.  Yes indeed, "They're Alive" (cue sinister laugh track).

Let's take a look at everybody's favorite whipping boy of the moment, Adam "Pacman" Jones.  He has become many folks' poster boy for the "Thug Life".  Fully equipped with his entourage, he'll soon be making an appearance at a strip club near you. Other than thoroughly enjoying naked women, refusing to grow up and embrace a responsible lifestyle, while rolling with a home boy or two that likes to pack heat, he really hasn't done anything that wrong. Seriously though, what should we expect? Now this is just an assumption in Jones' case but when athletes from "da hood" possibly never worked a day in their lives, got passing grades as early as middle school for work they did not do, were treated like celebrities in Anyplace USA, got wined and dined to attend college on a full ride, had groupies throwing underwear at them, and started earning millions of dollars right around the time they could legally buy their first drink...well why are we surprised when some of them develop big ego problems? Trust me on this one.  The reason why so many can't seem to leave their lifestyle behind is because it's the only one they know. Not everyone can stop being who they are and "assimilate" overnight just because they're packing a roll full of Benjamins (although if I recall those were George Washingtons on the stage in Las Vegas).  And if you think Adam Jones is one shady character, there are thugs in ghettos all over America who would love a chance to turn him into their Ms. Pacman.

Another big name making news is Tank Johnson, formerly of the Chicago Bears. Last December police raided his home and found 6 unregistered firearms. This was a violation of his probation following an arrest in 2005 when a valet outside a nightclub reported seeing Johnson with a gun in his car. Last Friday in Arizona, Tank was pulled over for driving 40 MPH in a 25 MPH zone (Go Speed Racer Go). There was also suspicion that he had been driving under the influence but he was released by the local authorities without being charged. Tank did provide a blood sample for testing and results regarding his blood alcohol level are still pending.  He was just cut by the Bears yesterday and many people across America stood up and applauded. Yeah, like this arrest will make the obsession some people have with high-powered weapons go away. Certainly Tank showed poor judgment by not getting his weapons registered but the bigger problem is far from fixed. The NRA shoots down any attempts at gun control and weapons are always readily available on the black market regardless.  Among the major industrialized nations, America is widely acknowledged as the most violent and this violence has historically been glorified. From the Gangs of New York to the days of the Wild West... From the era of Al Capone to the drive-bys of the Bloods and the Crips... Now we even see mountain men and backwoods types "playing" militia in forests all over the country waiting for civil war and anarchy to break out...America continues to be a nation where countless numbers are obsessed with guns.  Tank Johnson is just another collector and a two-bit one at that.

We haven't even begun to touch the tip of Michael Vick and his possible involvement in dog fighting rings. I think when all is said and done he just may be the one to really go down. He also happens to be the biggest name of the football bunch, which leads me to believe that the authorities are going to come "gunning" for him with full force. His potential crime is an awfully hard one to justify. Those folks at PETA must be licking their chops. Let's keep one thing in mind though. In most civilizations throughout time, men have often pitted beast against beast.  Everyone knows about the days of the Roman Coliseum but such contests were widely popular in our great nation not so long ago. In fact I once read where New York Harbor rats, which could grow to enormous size, were often trapped along the waterfront and pitted against the terriers of the day in deep pits.  Yes, we would like believe that we have grown as a society but have we really? In makes sense when terms such as "Alpha Dog/Alpha Male" are applied to "tough guys", that some men would have a perverse interest in watching the real McCoys go at it. Especially when big money stakes are on the line. Disgusting and cruel? Absolutely and I do not endorse it. Then again the fact that I love to eat veal (when there are plenty of other high protein alternatives) makes me feel quite hypocritical for some reason. Something about how those small calves are locked in tiny, dark sheds so that they cannot move about (making their meat extra tender) also sounds a bit cruel when you stop and think about it.      

Thank goodness we have Pacman, Tank and Vick to keep poking fun at. When you have a "hoodlum", a "gun collector" and a "dog fighter" as public enemies #s 1, 2 and 3, it gets much easier to forget about all those other "losers". You know, guys like Ricky Williams. In a time where marijuana is more mainstream than wine coolers (sissies), it seems that professional football views it as a capital offense. Who cares that the NBA, NHL, and MLB do not even really test for it? All "hail" football and their image contrived attempts to create the "proto-type-squeaky-clean" athlete of the future. Who annointed the NFL as the moral standard of America anyway?   I wonder how Bill Clinton feels about this or George W. for that matter. Seems to me I remember certain confessions regarding "not-inhaling" from one commander-in-chief and documented cocaine rehabs from the other. I guess it's OK if you want to run for office but not OK if you want to run for the Dolphins.

Then there is Kobe Bryant and those trade requests. If you're disgruntled at work what do you do? Look for a new place of employment of course. Unless you make millions of dollars that is. Then you have to stay where you're unhappy because wanting a change of scenery just makes you a whiney brat to some people.  These same people tuck their children in at night and tell them that money isn't the most important thing in the world because it "doesn't buy happiness".  Then the next day they tell them to study hard at school so they can become a rich lawyer or doctor. Hmmm...so why is it exactly that we expect all of our athletes to be content and happy just because they have so much money? Simply wondering.

This wouldn't be complete without a Barry Bonds mention. By now many have heard about WWE wrestler Chris Benoit's suicide after he apparently murdered his wife and son. Anabolic steroids were found in his home and there is already speculation that these "performance enhancers" affected his mental state leading to this tragedy. If any good is to come of this perhaps people will temporarily stop theorizing about the handful of Bonds' homeruns that just cleared the fences as a possible result of steroid aided power. Maybe now they might realize that if these drugs should be banned it's because of these specific dangers. After all, home run records are awfully petty in comparison to the loss of innocent lives.  Never once have I heard someone argue that steroids should be banned because side effects have the potential to place others in harm's way. It's always about protecting "the integrity" of the game. Well screw the game...let's care more about protecting innocent people like Mrs. Benoit and her young boy.   

I'm entirely in favor of accountability and holding people responsible for their actions. The rules are the rules and we all have to follow them. Some rules make sense (see Tank Johnson) and some rules don't (see Ricky Williams). Other rules are "unwritten" (see Kobe Bryant), which means they aren't really rules so shut up about them already. Just please stop making these men out to be the scourge of the Earth. Very flawed individuals for sure but the truth of the matter is that there are a whole lot worse out there than these guys...whom we all helped make by the way... simply by watching idly, shrugging our shoulders  and accepting the double standards that run our country.

In the diverse world of athletics there are many individuals who openly muse whether NASCAR is even a sport. Never mind the G-Forces of a car traveling close to 200 MPH that shake a man's arms like a jackhammer on overdrive. Who cares about the intense heat in a vehicle that produces enough driver perspiration to probably fill gallon sized milk jugs? How about hand eye coordination and cat like reflexes? I bet John Salley, John Elway and John Cena will vouch that not just any "New Jack" can drive these babies at Warp Speed. Along with William Shatner (aka Capt. Kirk) and other famous personalities participating in the reality TV show, Fast Cars & Superstars: The Gillette Young Guns Celebrity Race, it is painfully obvious that it's much harder to "drive in circles" than critics of the sport give it credit for.

There I said it. It is a sport, but who cares about that argument? It's the current drama and soap opera theatrics most of us are interested in. In a shocking move befitting of the humorous clich