Dear Blog Fairy,

     Last night I had a dream and Tiffany-Marie was in it.  (No Socalsportsfan, it wasn't that type of dream.)  You see, I've been feeling bad about myself lately.  I try, and I try, and I try to write that one blog that gets me noticed, but nothing seems to help.  Well last night in my dream Tiffany-Marie was very helpful.  (Cool your jets Wesley Powell and Just Randy)  In my dream she told me about you, and she suggested that I write you a letter to explain what's been going on.  I figured what the heck.  She doesn't always write about sports, and everyone, including myself, seems to like her just fine.  It's worth a shot I guess.

     When I first learned about this competition I was kinda nervous to even try.  I also didn't know what to expect.  I hemmed and hawed about it with myself.  Then the whole thing with McNabb and the Philadelphia NAACP  came out.  I decided to write about that, and after I poured my heart into it, I deleted it by mistake.  I didn't try to write again for another week. I guess I should have taken this as an omen.  I was off to a slow and bad start.

      When I tried again I wrote about Johnny Damon, but so did everyone else in frickin' America.  I re-wrote the McNabb piece but nobody commented.  A day late and a dollar short I suppose.  Then I wrote about the Bears and actually got 2 comments.  I ran to my wife, like a little boy does to his mom, after he makes a friend at his new school.  "Look, look honey, someone knows I'm alive." It was Sleepless in Seatlle and the NFLFAN. They let me know how wrong I was about the Bears, and how good the Seahawks are. Later on I wrote an article on the Seahawks, in honor of Sleepless in Seattle and also the Sportsgurl.  These two ladies love their Hawks, I liked their stuff, and I sure wanted to make some friends.  I hoped they would read it, and they did.

      I also wrote about Tony Dungy because his story touched my heart and I felt compelled to pay my respects. I got noticed a bit by  Norcalfella and It's Gotta be the Shoes on that one.  Thanks guys, I needed the support.  I next wrote what I consider to be my masterpiece.  Fantasy Football Makes You Wacky, a story about my season with Torry Holt. (along with a twist) I was actually noticed by The Sports Intellectual on that one.  Now he is one funny dude.  I guess his compliment was kind of like my Super Bowl.   The very popular SportsDude and Dan McGowan liked it too.  They were the only ones to comment on it after I shamelessy pitched it to everyone.  I swore that would be the first and last time I went out lobbying for support.  Oops, I guess I'm doing it again Oh Powerful Blog Fairy.  Sorry about that, I know it's pathetic.  Sheesh, I even wrote one poking fun at the Yankees cause everyone hates the Yankees.  Not me, I love them..........but I always tell the truth (Usually) and every joke I made about the players was absolutely true.  Once again The Sports Intellectual along with Sleepless in Seattle (Gawd I love her now) and the highly regarded NoahPinto gave me some props. I even wrote about the tired out Shaq vs. Kobe thing.  I shoulda known better.

     But Golly Gee Blog Fairy, what do I have to do to get just get one blog on the most popular list.  Just one before New Blog's Day on January 1st,  would make me so happy.  I have no delusions of winning this contest.  Some of these writers I've already mentioned, and many others I haven't, are just so talented.  Forget about winning, it would just mean so much for me to be popular for even one day.  I've tried to make friends, really I have.  I checked in on others like the judges suggested  and made some nice comments.  I followed the advice of You Read My Blog and I'll Read Yours (see Detpack).  I have a favorite blog list and use it to keep current on what they're all writing about.  Some stories really inspire me.  I  check in on the NFLFan often.  I respect all people with his military background.  I agree with him sometimes, and enjoy his gruffness.  Mostly I check in to see how many word-spellings he "assassonaited" that day. (Yes I can spell it myself!) I hope he can take a joke, cause I actually do like some of his stuff.  His latest says the Steelers have a good shot to beat the Colts in the AFC.  I was just thinking the same thing the other day.

     Well Blog Fairy, I guess I'm destined to be forgotten in the blogodacious universe .  I simply don't want to be like the guy at the high school reunion that nobody even remembers went to school there.  I don't want to be like the girl that no boy asked to the prom. (Just A Simile!!)  I don't want to be like the toy that Lil' Johnny doesn't play with any more.  Gosh, I admit that I go to the beat of my own drum, but GEE-WILLICKERS I want to be accepted!  I want to be noticed!  I have feelings too ya know....................Nobody knowsssssss..........the trouble I've seen.............Nobody knowsssssss but,.....................  Oh God, now this is really getting to be too much for me to take..  Somebody please put a slug in me.   I just.......snifffle........just.........sniffle-sniffle......... want to know how it feels.........sniffle.............to write  one popular blog.  Can you help me Blog Fairy, huh can you?

ALL ABOUT ME-------BY RIVJO

Like A Man Without A Home

Like A Dog Without A Bone

Like A Barber Without A Comb

I Feel So All Alone

     See Blog Fairy,  I can write poetry and rhyme too, just like The Sports Intellectual.  I promise Blog Fairy, that if you can somehow help me with my one and only true wish, I will never pull another stunt like this again.  If you can help me write a popular blog and make some friends, I will do everything I can to make them laugh, give them insight, and keep them reading.   If you can do that for me I promise to never repond to every comment posted on something I wrote, (a few responses back are OK, right?)  just to make it look more popular.  Man, I sure have been tempted though!  Would you do that for me Blog Fairy, please huh please??!!??

Sincerely, Rivjo

P.S. One last request---Could you please deliver the following message:

Thanks to all you excellent writers for providing me with ideas, inspiration, and the willingness to make a total fool of myself.  As the judges will be picking finalists soon, I wish the best of luck to any people on my list, and any others I may have missed.  Please don't forget suckers like me, on the way to the top of the sportswriting mountain.

     As many of us saw over the holidays, Shaq demonstrated the ultimate blowoff, by failing to even acknowledge the presence of Kobe Bryant on the court prior to tip-off.  In this on-going saga between the two superstars, this not-so-subtle slight was as cold-blooded as it comes.  For weeks  the media had wondered how these two would respond to each other  Christmas Day, on national TV.  The question was answered silently, but quite deafeningly. You can either applaud Shaq for not being a phony, or condemn him for not being able to bury the hatchet.  In no way am I a Kobe fan, (just read my personal info.) but I think I have to side with him on this latest incident.  That's hard for me to admit.

     Shaq's actions made me recall a segment on the ESPN classic station, that I saw some time ago.  I don't remember all the details, but it went something like this. A sports psychologist had created a profile on the big center.  He had analyzed O'Neil's character traits and developed a rating of sorts for him.  This was used to try and understand the conflicts that he first had with Penny Hardaway in Orlando, and then later with Kobe in L.A.  I found the information insightful.

     Basically Shaq was described as an individual who not only craves, but also needs public accolades.  He needs others to attest to his greatness.  His sense of self is based more on what others think of him, and not so much what he thinks of himself.  You can accept this opinion as accurate or consider it to be hogwash.  Whatever you choose, Shaq's actions seem to support the theory created by the doctor.

     As we all recall, Shaq was once the man in Orlando.  He was literally the biggest thing to hit the NBA since Wilt the Stilt.  Then along came Penny.  Together they took the Magic to the promised land of the league finals in 1995,  only to be quickly dispatched by  the Houston Rockets. If you remember, that Rockets team had a pretty good center of their own.  Immediately speculation began concerning who was more important to the team, Shaq or Penny.  To make matters worse, those "Lil Penny" ads were everywhere.  Many fans loved those commercials, including myself.  Perhaps in Shaq's eyes, that publicity somehow lessened his contributions and achievements.  Whatever the case may be, he left town for the Lakers.  Penny was left to carry the franchise alone, and he was not enough  to keep the team at an elite level.  In Shaq's eyes, he probably proved he was the real reason for the Magic's success.  In Orlando, the fans probably felt betrayed by his ego.

     Act two occured in L.A.  Shaq arrived intent on bringing the Lakers back to their past glory.  He immediately established the proud franchise as contenders once again.  It was not however until another young guard, Kobe of course, became the perfect complement to The Diesel.  Together they went on to become a dynasty, paving the way to multiple championships.  Unfortunately, these two could not co-exist either.  As Yogi Berra would say, it became "Deja Vu All Over Again".   Once more the question arose:  Who was more responsible for the success of the franchise?  Shaq or Kobe? Another soap opera had developed. The truth of the matter is, who cares?  They both were equally important.  The evidence is, that without each other, the franchise has once more fallen on hard times.  Yet again, another group of fans have reason to feel betrayed by Shaq's departure to a different franchise.  

     Now that Shaq is in Miami, is Dwayne Wade and "Act Three" next?  I personally don't think so, because now Shaq needs him.  This is the only case where the guard was there first.   Shaq went to South Beach to complement a star guard for a change.  Maybe this was his way of drawing the heat (no pun intended) off his back.  He can show that he is able to have an amicable relationship with a co-star.  Those prior issues really weren't his fault, were they? If the Heat manage to win a title, others can only say good things about Shaq.  Something to the effect that "Wade was great but he needed the Big Guy".  This move, just like the move to L.A., seems very calculated to me.  How better to further have his greatness personified, by both the media and the public, than to win a title in Miami?

     Was the sports psychologist right on the mark with Shaq, about his need for public opinion?  Is he immature and child-like in his desire to have his greatness notorized? I can't say for sure, I'm no shrink.  All I can say is that Shaq's actions have done little to dismiss the theory.  I'm no fan of Kobe and his lifestyle, both on and off the court.  In this case however, I do feel inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt and consider him to be the bigger man, if just slightly.  He did after all allegedly reference Shaq's womenizing when he was in police custody, directly after his rape allegations.  At this point though, he seems to be the more willing of the two, to lay the matter to rest.

     I have one message for Shaq.  You are great, everyone thinks you're great.......Now just let it go.

     Now that Johnny Damon is a Yankee, could some Red Sox secrets be made available to his new teammates.  Things that would further fuel the rivalry and give the Yanks a leg up on their fiercest foe?  Only time will tell if he can provide such an advantage.  Such a topic would be very debatable, but also, quite boring.   Therefore, I'd like to pretend that Red Sox players have come up with symbolic "pet names" for their Yankee counterparts, during their drunken frolics and goodtimes as The Idiots.  I wonder, would Damon ever tell if such names do exist?  If so, what would these names be?  Here are some ideas.

Derek Jeter: Nickname: King Midas--- Everything he does seems to come up golden. He has championships, clutch hits, and miraculous plays to burn. However, just like the legend of King Midas, Jeter is cursed.  For all of his riches, nothing less than a World Series title every year will ever do.

Alex Rodriguez: Nickname: Purple Lipschitz---  Every time he speaks a bunch of crap comes out from between those dark, purplish, seemingly touched-up lips.  He always says exactly what the "right" answer should be rather than what he thinks.  Stop the gentleman act, step out of the box,  and say what's really on your mind.

Jason Giambi: Nickname: Asteroid---Only an a$$, with a great, big, giant rock in his head, would put that steroid crap in his body.

Hideki Matsui: Nickname: Chop Suey--- Pitch him just right and you can often get him to "chop" the ball to second, for a rally killing 4-6-3 doubleplay.

Bernie Williams: Nickname: Bernadette---  He does throw the ball like a girl after all.  Sorry about that ladies.  Some girls like Jenny Finch throw better underhanded.

Gary Sheffield: Nickname: The Pinata Killer--- The way he waggles his bat and swings with such aggression, reminds us of a young kid at a birthday party. You know the boy who is trying his darn best to smash that hanging pinata wide open, sending all the candy flying across the room.  Sheffield makes fans seated upperdeck in foul territory down the leftfield line more alert than any other hitter, as his moonshots often fly their way.

Jorge Posade: Nickname: Voodoo-Doll---Take a closer look and you might agree that his head seems just a little too small for the rest of him.  Almost like a voodoo witch doctor started to shrink his head and then changed his mind.

Mike Mussina: Nickname: Moose-Meat--- Seems like that's what he's been serving up to Boston hitters, more often than not.

Randy Johnson: Nickname: Mr. That's What They All Say ---This is in regard to his real nickname, The Big Unit.

Mariano Rivera: Nickname: Gizmo--- This may be obscure for some.  Gizmo was the name of the cute little creature in the movie Gremlins, with those ears that stuck right out.  If you fed him late at night and got him wet, then all the evil Gremlins popped out of his body and wreaked havoc everywhere.  If you hadn't noticed, Rivera's  ears stick-out too. He's also been known to get in some late trouble during games vs. Boston.   Since Rivera only has 2 pitches, maybe his ears tip off the Sox hitters.  When the left ear twitches it's the cutter.  When the right ear twitches it's the 2-seamer.

Tom "Flash" Gordon (Now the Phillies closer): Nickname: Flash--- The nickname stayed the same because that's about how long it took Boston hitters to turn around some of his fastballs.

George Stienbrenner:Nickname: Thurston Howell The Third (Gilligan's Island)--- The Boss is another doddering rich old man who is stuck on his very own island.  Like this character, George thinks nothing of using his money to get whatever he wants. 

What do you guys think?  Would Damon tell all?  Do you have any potential nicknames that come to mind about your favorite Yankees, that you would like to share?  Let me know.

     Congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks, proud owners of an 11 game winning streak and homefield advantage throughout the NFC playoffs. Their record now stands at an impressive 13-2. Professional football excitement has never run this high in Seattle, and expectations are beginning to soar in a way that befits their logo.   Their fans were treated to an early Christmas present, when the 2005 schedule came out.  Got ya, didn't I!  You thought I was going to talk about the Colts game.  Well I will, just not yet.  Since the absolute beginning of the season the Hawks have benefitted from not only a favorable schedule, but also a couple of beautifully giftwrapped victories that should be considered instant classics. 

      This side of the NFC North, the NFC West has got the most severely challenged football teams in the entire league.  One could even argue that the NFC North is actually the better division.  They do have at least two teams with winning records after all.  The Seahawks are the only team with a winning record within their division.  In fact, the Rams, Cards and 49ers have combined for a hefty total of 13 wins, exactly the same total as the Hawks.  The schedule gods also placed dates with the Texans, Titans, and the surprisingly bad Eagles on the agenda.  Those three teams have combined to win a whopping total of 12 games themselves, or one less than Seattle.  Let's see 12+13 = 25.  Now 6 teams go into 25 wins approximately 4 times.  That's right an average of about 4 (4.1666666 to be exact) wins per team, to what amounts to 9 out of the 15 games completed thus far on the Hawks regular season schedule.  Now that's an early Christmas present.

     Speaking of early presents the Hawks have received, I know many football fans recall the game against Dallas on Oct. 23.  The Cowboys had the ball and were driving for a potential game winning field goal with precious little time left on the clock, when Drew Bledsoe threw one of the worst passes you could ever hope to see.  It was intercepted and returned just far enough, with just enough time remaining, for a game winning field goal as time expired.   If you remember this, then I bet you remember the overtime game against the Giants on Nov. 27.  In that heart stopping game, Jay "I" Feely "A lot like Santa today", missed 3 field goals that would have won the game for the G-Men.  I must admit these were 2 fabulous endings that all true NFL fans will always remember, for better or worse.

     Besides these games the Seahawks have had several unexpected close calls from inferior talent.  For example, on Oct.9 they beat the Rams 37-31 in a shootout.  Late in the 4th quarter the Hawks were forced to punt deep from their own territory setting St. Louis up for a potential game winning drive starting near mid-field.  Alas, Shaun McDonald fumbled the punt return. The Hawks recovered the ball and ran out the clock.  Later in the season there was a 27-25 thriller with the 49ers on Nov. 20.  In that game San Francisco stormed back from a 27-12 deficit at the start the 4th quarter.  Always "dangerous" Ken Dorsey drove the Niners 76 yards for a potential game tying touchdown. The 2-pt conversion attempt that would have completed the comeback and forced overtime failed.  One final surprise occurred just last week against the Titans.  The Hawks stormed out to a two touchdown lead only to see the Titans "high powered" offense drop 24 unanswered points on their defense.  The Hawks ultimately did win the game 28-14 by scoring a couple of touchdowns of their own, in a game that never should have been that close.

     The only other games against competetive talent were as follows: 1) The Jaguars beat the Seahawks 26-14 on opening day.   2) In week 2 the Seahawks jumped out to a 21-0 lead against the now playoffless Falcons, but had to hold on in the end to win 21-18.  3) In week 4 the Redskins beat the Hawks 20-17 in overtime.  As you can see, the Seahawks have not been nearly as tough when picking on someone their own size.That brings us to this week against the Colts.

     Let me clarify by stating, the Seahawks owe nobody an apology for what happened in this game.  Whether or not they had an emotional advantage cannot be proven and will not be discussed.  They also are not responsible for the personnel choices the Colts made, but facts are facts.  When analyzing this victory over the Colts, you cannot ignore the truth of the matter that so many players did indeed sit.  It wasn't  just Manning, Harrison, Wayne, and James, but over half the defense.  Missing in action were both starting def. tackles, Corey Simon and Montae Reagor, neither of who played a down.  Other defensive starters who did not play a single down were free safety Bob Sanders and linebacker Cato June.  All world defensive end Dwight Freeny was in for only a handful of plays early in the game and back-up defensive end Robert Mathis didn't see a single snap. With all the attention given by the media to resting offensive players, not everyone realized that 6 or maybe more  very important defensive players, affecting the line, linebakers, and secondary, would contribute nothing to the game.   Seattle fans should interpret  this win for what it was and not make it out to be something it wasn't.  This was not a blow-out of the Colts.   Perhaps the score should have been even more lopsided than 28-13, since they competed against so many 2nd stringers.

     By now you may have assumed that I have some personal vendetta  against the Seahawks.  On the contrary,  I do not dislike the Seahawks in the least.  This is not some vicious attack on their team.  On the contrary, I have often defended the team when others have taken cheap shots regarding past failures.  I have nothing but respect for coach Mike Holmgren.  I consider Matt Hasselbeck to be one scrappy dude with tremendous heart. I love his competetive nature.  Bobby Engram is an under-rated receiver and a real pro. The return of Darrell Jackson will only help the mission with his big play potential.  I admire Joe J. for his strength during his own personal tragedy years back when he was a Buccaneer.   Last, but certainly not least, Shaun Alexander. He is arguably the best in the business, plus he has tons of character and confidence. In fact, I will almost certainly root for the Hawks if they should make it to the Super Bowl.  I do not care for any of the AFC contenders, although rooting against the Bengals at the Big Dance would be hard to do.  I do so love an underdog. 

     Why then write this blog?  As I have been surfing about from blog to blog, it would appear that Seahawks fans are really hyping themselves up.  Given the history of the team, I say proceed cautiously with your expectations.  Yes, these birds are a force to be reckoned with, but so is every other playoff team in their own right.   Based on the the level of most of their competition this year, and their performance against teams with talent, the jury is still out.  Root will all your might.  Seahawks fans are great and deserve a professional championship as much as any other fan base, if not more.  Just keep things in their proper perspective. There is still plenty of work to be done and even more yet to prove. Best of luck.  Every team in the playoffs will need at least a little.

     Let's get it on!  It's not only Christmas Eve but Fantasy Football Championship Saturday!   All my hard work has paid off.  Beating opponents to the next hot free agent pick-up.  Brokering deals with other league members.  Fixating on start or sit decisions when bye weeks and tough match-ups arise. There were 1000 smackaroos on the line in my  10 man league.  It's me versus The Bus Boys, whom we have affectionately labeled the "Short Bus" Boys.  Neither one of us has any guys going after today. We'll know the winner by the time dinner is over.  I'm so excited and equally so is my wife Super Jane.  (The woman has a motor. Great with the kids, workaholic, you name it.)  She's excited because she can't wait for the stupid season to end.

     I don't have a team loaded with stars. What I've got is a bunch of solid consistent players who usually produce good points, but can also provide the occasional big game.  That is except for you Torry Holt.  On draft day you were part of my master plan.  You and that lunk-head Marc Bulger who butchered his shoulder on Monday night vs. the Colts trying to make the most pathetic self-defense block I have ever seen.  He was plowed by some burly linebacker during a return of his freakin interception.  More on that game to come.  My plan was to try and draft both of you because I knew that Mike Martz is a pass happy maniac. Well it worked.  I drafted you in the second round and snagged Bulger in the 4th.  You two sure were making me look like a genius early on.  Man did you guys light it up together. 

     Four games into the season and you had 30 receptions, along with nearly 450 receiving yards and three touchdowns.  You were single handedly carrying my receiving crew. Some weeks you were like two receivers in one. In week 3 you contributed 9 catches-163 yards-and a score. You were the beloved "automatic start vs. anyone guy".  Then a mini-disaster occurred.  Your knee was hurt during the week 5 game against Seattle.  You played on like a warrior and finished with  8 catches, 126 yards, and a score despite your injury. I didn't know what was to come but I had my fingers crossed.

     All week long I waited.  Your team was going to play the Monday night game against the Colts.  The game where that fool Bulger decided to protect himself with his throwing shoulder rather than duck.  I'm not bitter though Bulger, you jerk.  David Garrard had been helping out lately, before him it was Brad Johnson, and now Josh McCown is starting this week's championship game for me. (I rolled the dice and he did well by the way.)  See my back-up to Bulger had been Byron Leftwich.  Who says lightning doesn't strike twice?  Anyway, you had the dreaded gametime decision tag placed on your knee and like I said the game was on Monday night.  Due to bye weeks I had only two other available receivers.  My opponent that week and I were tied for first place.  The free-agent receivers all left something to be desired.  If you couldn't play I would have had a roster spot that got me no points. 

    I came up with a plan.  I had a load of running backs, some who could not get off my bench.  I made a deal with the Bus-Boys who had injuries problems of their own (a banged up Julius Jones), to get  Brandon Stokely of the Colts.  Stokely had not yet totally disappeared from the Colts offense and he was coming off a 1000 yard 10 touchdown season.  If you Holt could not play, at least I still had an option to go to on Monday night.  Well you did play and turned in a gritty performance on a night where it was clear you were not 100 percent.  You were held out of the end zone, but managed a repectable 70 yards.  I lost that game by 1.1 points or 11 rushing/receiving yards thanks to tough guy Bulger getting himself laid out..

     You missed the next 2 games due to your injury and also enjoyed a bye week to get healthy.  Once you came back in week 10 you were a bit rusty but still caught a beautiful touchdown pass from Bulger who also returned in this game.  He was back in my good graces for just that one week . He re-injured his shoulder again the following week when he was slammed on it while getting sacked.  His shoulder was probably still hurt from his bonehead play that famous Monday night.

    Anyway Torry you went on to prove that you can go out and catch the rock no matter who is throwing you the ball.  You have made the likes of Jamie Martin and even Ryan Fitzpatrick better than they are.  In the last 5 games leading up to today you caught 10 or more balls three times and and scored three more touchdowns for my team.  All together you have had quite the season.  In only 12 games you played thus far, you have 88 receptions, 1128 yards, and 8 touchdowns.  In fact you have failed to score a touchdown in only 4 games all year.

     Well the results are in, and I unfortunately have to admit that I lost the big game by a hair as well as the 1000 smackaroos.  You put up another "Big Game" Torry Holt.  You caught 10 passses for a buck sixty three and a touchdown. I thought I was a shoo in to win.  My kids' Christmas gifts this year would have wound up being free.  Maybe Super Jane would have changed her mind about fantasy football.  But no,  I don't get any glory, bragging rights or greenbacks for all my hard work, time and effort.  You see those Bus-Boys had The Larry Johnson on their team. (I was praying San Diego could stop him or even just slow him down a bit.) The Larry Johnson who, thanks to Priest Holmes' injury in week 8, has became the most feared back in the league. The Larry Johnson who was picked to the Pro Bowl despite only 6 starts.  The Larry Johnson who had 179 total yards and two touchdowns today.  The Larry Johnson that I traded to The Bus Boys in week 6 for Brandon Stokely. The trade happened a scant two weeks before Priest Holmes' injury turned Larry from Caddy to Mac Daddy.

     Torry, this is all your fault.  If you hadn't hurt your stinkin' knee this would never have happened.   If you had simply announced that you were planning on playing that Monday night game so long ago, I would never had made that trade.  But no, you had to be a game-time decision.  See what you cost me Torry.  You're a bum.  Now get off my team.

I hope you liked the irony in all this.  I still love fantasy football and would take Torry Holt any day of the week.  Merry Christmas to all.