WHOA!!!!  I need a laugh right about now, how about you?  All the controversy of the past few days has made me think about things I just don't much care for in sports.  I hope some of you can relate to them, as I find them downright STUPID!

 

NCAA Tournament Play-in Game: Come March Madness time this game actually kills me.  We all get to watch 2 obscure schools with weird names like "Alamo Univ.", "Copenhagen Tech", or "I-C-U-P State" play the most meaningless game imaginable. There are too many damn conferences now.  They don't even deserve the 16 seed, and subsequent spanking at the hands of Duke once they win.  In fairness to them, they did win their tournament.  I would rather do away with the last "at-large bid" team and let both horrible schools in period, than have to watch this game.  When was the last time the last team invited won a championship anyway? Never, that's when. Spare us the trouble, and them the embarrassment of this honor.

 

The Extra Point: You know anything that is successful 99% of the time just isn't worth it.  Well good, solid birth control methods aside, that is.  Most of us could probably kick the extra point with a hangover.  I asked my cracked-up staff to do a little research.  All right, after my wife and kids went to bed I took one last look at my fantasy league.  I pulled up the stats for all the kickers.  I found 1,097 extra point attempts this year, and only 13 misses.  That put the accuracy rate at 98.8%.  Okay maybe I exaggerated a bit when claiming kickers get it right 99% of the time.  I say, do away the extra point and go for the 2-pt conversion all the time.  Let the players settle it like men.  At the very least move the kick back 20 yards and make it a challenge.  Nah, just go for two.

 

The Intentional Walk: Whaddya mean you won't pitch to me you chicken-s#!t!  Cowards I say, total cowards.  This doesn't happen in other sports. Can you imagine Gretzky being told that he could play, but without his stick for one shift?  Or the Patriots telling the Steelers that anyone but Jerome Bettis could take a hand-off from the five-yard line in.  Or Michael Jordan not being allowed to take the last shot in a game?  Well that's what happens in baseball.  "Uh-oh, Big Papi is up.  Let's just walk him and go after Nixon."  To make matters worse, they have to actually throw the damn 4 pitches.  Just let him walk down to first if you aren't going to pitch to him.  I think I've seen a wild pitch once in these situations.

 

Soccer Penalty Kicks: I have never played an organized game of soccer in my life. (Gym class doesn't count)  The only games I ever watch are at World Cup time.  Nonetheless, I find the games I watch exciting and interesting.  For this reason the fact that tie games can be decided on penalty kicks irks the hell out of me.  Those poor guys have just run to hell and back.  I don't know how they do it quite honestly.  Those guys are warriors.  Then time runs out and each team picks 5 guys to kick the ball from POINT BLANK RANGE at the goalie.  Whichever goalie is blindly lucky enough to deflect one or two of those missiles impersonating as soccer balls wins the game for his team. What do the losers get? Friggin' pissed off at their goalie, that's what!   I don't speak from experience but I would rather pass out running on the field than lose this way.  Let them put in more subs than current rules allow, but do away with penalty kicks.

 

Hockey Fights: This last one is sure to be unpopular with some, but this goes against all the rules of sportsmanship. I don't like you so I can beat you up. OR You're really good so I can beat you up. OR You beat up my friend so I can beat you up. OR I just like to beat people the hell up.  You get the picture.  I don't want to hear how it's part of the culture of the game.  There are many things wrong in our culture and this is one of them. If I want to see someone get beat up I'll watch Nothing but Knockouts.  I highly recommend it if you like to watch people get laid the heck out.  But condoned violence in a team sport?  Nah, I don't care for it.  Now Ultimate Fighting, that's the real deal.  Let's leave our fights for 2 men or women with a point to prove.  Not on ice. 

 

Let's also do away with Mel Kiper Jr's hair and Speedos on male swimmers/divers at the Olympics.  I can't stand to look at either of them.  (Sorry ladies)  If you filled in Mel's temples with some more hair, he would look like he was from Planet Spaceball.

 

  

                    

    

 

                                            

                                               

Solid quarterback play? CHECK---18 TD, 7 INT, 3366 YDS, 90.2 RTG

Good rushing attack? CHECK---1935 YDS, 20 TDS (combined)

Go-to possession receiver? CHECK---85 RECS, 1105 YDS, 6 TDS

Pass catching tight ends? CHECK---58 RECS, 651 YDS (combined)

Quality Off-Line? CHECK--- Big, quick, and experienced.

Ability to score points? CHECK--- 395 points scored was 7^th in the NFL

 

Stuff the run? CHECK---# 2 rush defense in the league allowing 85.2 YPG

Low points against? CHECK---Team allowed only 258 PTS, 3^rd best in the NFL

Defensive Playmakers? CHECK---Ball hawks, big hitters and mostly veterans on Def.

Good Pass Defense? NOBODY'S PERFECT---29^th in the league.

Pressure the QB? SEE ABOVE--- Only 27 sacks for the defense.

Winning Mentality? CHECK--- 13-3 record with Super Bowl winning head coach.

 

     By now you may have figured out that this quick 2005 resume belongs to the Denver Broncos.  Has there ever been a thirteen-victory team that received so little attention for their achievements?  Did they really go 13-3? You wouldn't know it by how much press they get. Unlike Tom Terrific and Lord Byron, they ain't crying.

     Including this year, I looked back over the past 5 seasons to see how many teams have had at least 13 wins. I found that only 11 teams have posted this many wins during that span.  In 2001 there were 3 teams: Rams (14), Steelers (13), and Bears (13).  In 2002 no teams posted at least 13 wins.  In 2003 there were 2 teams: Patriots (14) and Chiefs (13).  In 2004 there were 3 teams: Steelers (15), Patriots (14), and Eagles (13).  This year as you likely recall, the Colts finished 14-2 and the Seahawks 13-3.  

     When looking at the other teams of the past five seasons that were victorious at least 13 times, the 2001 Bears were the least talented team overall in the group. That Bears squad mirrored the Bears from this year a great deal.  They too were a very talented defensive team with limited abilities on offense.  However, like this year, those Bears received a great deal of publicity and attention.  Everyone loves a good underdog story, and once again the Bears are filling that niche.  The 2005 Broncos get no such notoriety,and they are a better team. They basically have been overlooked and ignored.

     Perhaps it's because they started the year with an opening day debacle in Miami against the Dolphins. Apparently the team was not ready to start the season as they lost 34-10. However, head coach Mike Shanahan apparently figured out whatever was wrong, as the Broncos proceeded to win thirteen of their next fifteen games.  This streak is even more impressive if we briefly examine their other losses. 

    The first of their other two losses was perhaps one of the greatest games of the regular season.  They were up 23-10 against the Giants, only to see Eli Manning lead his team on two 4^th quarter touchdown drives.  The second touchdown occurred on a 3^rd down play with only 10 seconds left in the game. A missed field goal in the final quarter by Jason Elam didn't help their cause either.  The Broncos easily could have won this game, but lost 24-23. 

     The only other loss for the Broncos came during week 13 at the hands of the Kansas City Chiefs. The final score in this game was 31-27.  The Broncos led during the 4^th quarter of this game as well. Keep in mind that the game was played on the Chief's home turf.  Not only were the Chiefs a team nobody wanted to play down the stretch, but Arrowhead stadium is also one of the toughest stadiums in the league for opposing teams to win in.  The Chiefs went 7-1 at home, only blowing a 24-6 lead to the Eagles in week 4.  This too was a game the Broncos could have won. Hypothetically, (coulda, woulda, shoulda I know)...the Broncos almost won 15 straight games.

     When analyzing the Broncos schedule, they had many quality wins to go along with those two respectable losses.  They defeated San Diego twice, Kansas City, Jacksonville, Washington, New England, and Dallas.  They also blew out Oakland twice, Philadelphia, Buffalo, and the Jets.  I understand these are not the best teams in the league, but they were dominating performances against proud, professional athletes.  Beating inferior competition is supposed to be the hallmark of a championship caliber team in any sport.  Using this common perception as a standard, the Broncos certainly qualify.

     Maybe the Broncos don't get the credit that usually goes with a 13-3 record because of quarterback Jake Plummer's track record.  A bad reputation is a hard thing to shake, especially if yours is that of an undisciplined, error-prone field general.  All I can say is that if the Broncos can pound the ball on the ground, allowing Jake to play within Shanahan's game plan, then he is a difficult player for opponent's to contend with.  When he is on, Plummer can be every bit as dangerous as any QB this side of Peyton Manning and Tom Brady.

     It could be that people don't believe the Bronco's secondary can stop their opponents' passing attacks come playoff time.  However, what if their sub-par pass defense statistics aren't as bad as they appear?  I can think of three reasons why:  1) Other teams had so much trouble running against them, they had to pass. 2) They were ahead in so many of their games, teams were forced to pass even more. 3) Top cornerback Champ Bailey missed 2 games due to injury, and played at less than 100% in many others.  If the pass defense improves in the playoffs, then the Broncos can be very difficult for anyone to beat.

     Let's keep one last thing in mind.  If the Colts psyche never fully recovers from their terrible tragedy, and they lose their first playoff game, Denver then holds the home field advantage.  Mile High Stadium is not the first place I would choose to play if I was somebody else.  Oh, by the way, the Broncos are a perfect 8-0 there this year.

     Message to Tom Brady and Byron Leftwich: Stop moaning about a lack of respect this year. If you need to say these things to fire up your teammates at playoff time, then it might already be too late. Besides, Tom gets enough R-E-S-P-E-C-T to satisy Aretha, even if he deserves it.  If anyone should be complaining it's Denver.  They're not though. They just may be ready to "sneak" up on the competition, since nobody seems to be paying them any attention.  It seems the Broncos like being ignored just fine.

     You know, honestly, I don't think the Broncos will win it all either.  I do believe they have more than a realistic shot though. I just thought they deserved someone to stick up for them. It's like they don't exist.  If they do manage to win, I can't wait to see all the people start coming out of the woodwork. How many will claim that they knew the Broncos were great all along?  We'll see.

Good morning America, how are ya?

Don't you know the judges are all done?

Good morning America how are ya?

I hope you keep on writing, just for fun.

 

I would first like to congratulate all the finalists!  I admire every bit of the good work I've seen and plan to keep on reading. I can't wait to see what that first assignment is.

 

They say imitation is the best form of flattery.  Over these last several days, I've seen a few awesome poems and many well thought out lists.  Therefore I chose to combine the two and make a poem out of things I would like to see happen in sports.  Some of the things are far-fetched and may never come to be, some may actually happen soon, and some may occur in the far distant future.  Obviously many choices are personal, but some most might agree with. I hope you enjoy it and have a WONDERFUL NEW YEAR. 

I Hope One Day I Live To See......

 

The U.S. men win a soccer World Cup.

Kobe and Shaq, decide to make-up.

 

Donovan McNabb gets a Super Bowl ring.

I wish there was boxing, without Don King.

 

Roger the Rocket, pitches 'til he's fifty.

Ichiro has a hit streak that reaches sixty.

 

St. John's goes back to the Final Four.

The Lions kick Matt Millen out the door.

 

For major league baseball, a salary cap.

A black Nascar driver takes a victory lap.

 

The New York Jets win another Super Bowl.

T.O. crawls way down deep, in his hole.

 

Tiger wins all the majors in one year.

We never hear about someone using the "clear"

.

Zab Judah kicks Floyd Mayweather's butt.

Michelle Wie or Annika, make a men's cut

.

Rangers in the playoffs, with Jagr "lighting the lamp".

Give us just one, legitimate heavyweight champ.

 

Let's do away with the aluminum bat.

Kevin Garnett deserves to wear a champion's hat.

 

Jeter plays forever and gets 4,000 hits.

Women's soccer keeps rolling with cute Heather Mitts.

 

Pete Rose gets his due and makes the Hall of Fame.

College football finally has a playoff system game.

 

I hope Shaun Alexander stays right in Seattle.

Corrales vs. Castillo 3 will be an epic battle.

 

An age limit in the NBA makes lots of sense to me.

One day Michael Vick will be a total Q-B.

 

A triple-crown thoroughbred horse wears his bridle.

This year the Phoenix Suns bring home the title.

 

Chad Pennington makes, a full recovery.

Danica kisses the bricks, wins Indy.

 

A .400 hitter, in baseball would be nice.

Dontrelle Willis earns Cy Young, and does it twice.

 

Nice guy Kyle Petty, tastes victory in one race.

Phelps wins 8 gold medals, to take Spitz's place.

 

For his last hurrah, Andre wins Wimbledon again.

I'd like to see a white, hundred-meter champion.

 

I think Stephon and Larry can work out with the Knicks.

Our USA basketball team needs to stop shooting bricks.

 

1000 home runs from someone, would be Herculean.

A team in the NFL will have a perfect season.

 

Some guy with a rubber arm will win his 30^th game.

N.Y. football leaves Jersey, and ends the crying shame.

 

Once again, congrats finalists and best wishes in the New Year.I could probably make a few more wishes, but I don't want to be greedy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This years version of Gang Green provided tons of memories.  There certainly was no quit in Coach Herm Edward's boys.   Even in the mere 7 or so games where they had no chance and got blown out, the team showed heart, moxie and resiliency.  There are many reasons why Jets fans can expect the team to be even better in 2006.

1) My "Inside league sources" say the Jets will lose in week 17 and that every other team in the Reggie Bush sweepstakes will win, giving the Jets the #1 pick.

2)  The Jets plan to use their second pick in the draft on a punter.  He can room with last years second round pick, placekicker Mike Nugent. 

3) The always classy Curtis Martin has already volunteered to play fullback and block for Reggie Bush, once he recovers from knee surgery.

4) After Dr. James Andrews performed 2 major surgeries on Chad Pennington's right rotator cuff, everyone expects Chads "heater" to be better than ever.

5) Wayne Chrebet changed his mind about retirement and plans to keep on playing, ensuring the team still has their primary deep threat on the field.

6) Laveranues Coles will prove once and for all that he really is faster than Santana Moss, once his big toe heals.

7) New York State voters are about to overturn the proposal that denied the development of a new stadium in Manhattan and bring the Jets back home from New Jersey.  They will break ground tomorrow and the stadium is  expected to be completed in record time before summer's end.  A home of their very own should truly inspire the team to play even harder.

8) Those rumors about Parcells leaving Dallas at the end of the season are true.  He claims he has some unfinished business to complete with the Jets.  

9) New England heach coach Bill Belichick plans to quit his job and become Parcell's defensive coordinator again next year. He claims he's tired of winning Super Bowls and making all the decisions.  Now they can relive the glory days together.

10) Next season current coach Herm Edwards plans on making a return to the field and will become the oldest nickelback ever in the history of the league. He will provide veteran leadership in the secondary when Ty Law re-defects back to New England. He is quoted as saying, "I can't wait to get back on the bus.I got my ticket in the mail today!".

A while back I responded to an article about tortured franchises.  All Jets fan know what I am talking about when I say we are as tortured a group as any.  Loyalty is a trait common in dogs. That makes me one mangy mongrel.  I'll be waiting for a Jets Super Bowl, even if it takes a lifetime.

J-E-T-S...Just End The Season...Please.

 

     Well bloggers, the time has come.  After today it's in the judges' hands. As a result, I have a serious question I'd like to ask everyone. (No, really I do).  Considering all of the drama, criticism, and accusations in Blog World the past two days, just why are we here anyway?  It's far too simple to say that everyone has come to try and become The Next Great Sportswriter.  To say so would be selling us all far too short. I think we are here today because at least on a sub-conscious level, we all get it. What do we get? We understand that in so many ways organized athletics mirrors everyday life.  So much of what we are born with, taught, and come to value, has a basis in sport.  For this reason, and perhaps more, we are drawn to sports, like moths to light.

     All children are born with the inherent nature to love play.  It's how we first learn to do anything.  Once we could maneuver within our world, we all just wanted to have fun, didn't we? Sport in this regard, as defined in any dictionary, is an activity done for pleasure.  The first rule of life is to have fun, in our case, sport.  The basic need for fun is quick to develop in all of us.  It serves as a building block for all things to come.  We never, ever, want to stop having fun.

     As we continue to grow we learn of gamesmanship, and we begin to build character. There are rules to the game, which we must follow.  Victory through cheating holds no honor.  Some try anyway, and may find temporary success.  That risk is high and the price is heavy.  There are few greater disgraces than to be caught cheating.  Equally worse are those who become the dreaded sore-loser. Try your best, give it your all, but never discredit another's fairly earned victory.

     A higher, less selfish level of thinking comes next.  This would be accountability to others.  We all play a different role at various points of our life. In sports it may be pitcher, catcher, lineman, or quarterback. In life it may be mother, father, teacher, or doctor. In both situations, we all have a specific job to do.  How much others can count on us goes a long way to determining how we are perceived by them.  Place blame elsewhere, when your team suffers defeat, and risk becoming a pariah.  Ignore responsibilities in your own life, and facing yourself in the mirror might become hard. A Dead-Beat-Dad comes to mind.

      As we move from stage to stage in life, we try develop our own  individuality.  This is based on what we have become good at, along with what we have come to enjoy.  A fast runner, who longs to always get there first, may pursue a spot on the track team for example.  Whatever the case, we want to distinguish ourselves, stand out from the crowd, and have others recognize the unique talent that we possess.

     The next lessons in life are ambition and resolve. Individuals who never internalize these feelings are doomed to face the prospect of a life filled with regret.  If you don't want to try and be the best that you can at something, then why bother at all? Does anyone want to face the prospect of having to utter the words, "If only I had...?" Would you want a teammate that did not care as much as you did, or a family member or co-worker that wasn't holding up their end of the bargain? How one responds when things don't go as planned, is what separates the strong from the weak.  Sports, like life, are riddled with challenges both obvious and unexpected.  Whether or not a person chooses to stand tall and persevere, or cower and crumble determines their legacy.             

      Ultimately what we all crave and desire is acceptance for being ourselves. Everybody, without exception, wants to feel a part of something, to belong.  At some point in time, and very early at that, the love of our parents is not enough.  Being willingly included as part of a team or group, by others who have no otherwise binding ties to you, reassures us that we are worthy somehow. 

     And there you have it. (Finally, I know) That's why I think we're all here.  Universal values are found in sport.  These are values that allow us all to connect with people in some way or another. If not, why then has every culture since the dawn of civilization, created games of leisure.  Hopefully we have learned our lessons well, from sportsmanship through acceptance. Judging by the turn of events these last 2 days in the Blogosphere, where we have seen way too much negativity, I would say that some have missed the boat with their blahg, blahg, and blahg.

 Listed below are sports figures that either received passing grades from me, or fell asleep in the game of life.

  Sports Figures Who Got It  

J      Just For Fun: Ernie Banks: The legendary Mr. Cub is regarded as perhaps the best player to never win a World Series.  Even so to the end of his career he was always upbeat. His catchphrase,  "Let's Play Two", demonstrated his pure love of the game.  He remains an inspiration to all athletes.

2)      Character: Derek Jeter: Miraculously the Red Sox rebounded from a 0-3 ALCS deficit in 2004 to beat the Yankees and then win the World Series.  The following year they received their championship rings at Fenway Park. The Yankees were in the visiting dugout and there was Jeter at the top step applauding the Sox.

3)      Accountability: Brett Favre: After losing numerous offensive linemen this year to free agency and injury, nearly every running back on the team and his best wide receiver, Favre has suffered through a disastrous statistical season.  He has never once made any excuses for himself.

4)      Individuality: Danica Patrick: Danica is trying to become the first woman ever to win the Indy 500.  As the lone female driver she stands out on the racing circuit, and not because she's attractive. Her small frame and beauty, hide the huge amount of confidence and toughness she has inside.

5)      Ambition: Michael Jordan: Jordan not only wanted to be the best, but he would stop at nothing to get there.  Not only was he great, but also he made all of his teammates better.  He was driven to succeed, like very few others on the court.

6)      Resolve: Arturo Gatti: He is clearly not the greatest fighter to ever live, as he has taken his share of beatings.  However, I have no doubt he would fight to the death in the ring if allowed.

7)      Universally Accepted: John Madden: Just a simple sort of guy that knows his football, tough guys, Tur-Duck-Ens, and most of all himself.  What will we do when he's gone one day?  Like him or not he is this generation's Howard Cosell, but only regarding football of course.

Sports Figures Who Missed It

1)      Just For Fun: Barry Bonds: Throughout his brilliant career Bonds has never appeared to be truly happy. From his early days with the Pirates, until now, he has always been characterized negatively.  His history of surly behavior has done nothing to improve his image.  He acts as though he is a victim in life.

2)      Character: Patrick Ewing: After losing to the Pacers in the 1995 NBA playoffs, Ewing stated that the Knicks were still the better team.  This was said after he blew a lay-up in Game 7 that would have sent the contest into overtime. His comment was a discredit to the Pacers, his teammates, and himself. 

      Accountability: Ricky Williams: He walked away from the game and his teammates to smoke some pot?   He forfeited millions of dollars so he could become a massage therapist? He wasn't just failing his family and teammates, he was failing himself. Light up another one dude!

3)      Individuality: Terrell Owens: This year T.O. showed all of his teammates what they likely already knew. His selfish actions resulted in suspensions during training camp and the regular season.  This followed his famous post-Super Bowl comment that "He wasn't the one getting sick in the huddle", regarding Donovan McNabb. His self-centered identity  is as bad as they have ever come.

       Ambition: Randy Moss: He is living proof that thinking you're the best just isn't good enough.  Run some real routes, take a hit, stop taking plays off, and stay with your team until the end of the game.  Consistently demonstrating his greatness on the field is not a requirement of Randy's.

6)      Resolve: Mike Tyson:  Iron Mike loved to beat people up.  The problem was that if you hit him back, he eventually turned into tin foil.  He might be the most over-rated heavyweight of all time.

7)      Widely Rejected: Dennis Rodman: Okay, so he was rather interesting to watch.  Were all of his weird actions representative of who he really was? I just think he was some freaky guy who didn't know where he fit in.  Whatever the case, we tuned in to his horror show for a while, as he remained friendless amongst his peers. 

     By no means does the importance of a game compare to the rigors of reality.  Sometimes we seem to make it out to be that way, but it's not even close.  However, the lessons we learn while playing on a team are very applicable when dealing with problems that occur in real life. Sports are just a whole lot more fun.

     Sorry to get all serious, but as so many others have chosen to tell us, this is a writing contest after all. (lol) Good luck everyone, it's been great up to this point.