Until 1984 or so, I didn't even know that a professional basketball association existed.  Then, for a few short years, me, like virtually everyone else followed sports, had some interest in two teams - the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers.  Now my interest again waned in the sport after Showtime moved on and the Celtics were recategorized to also-rans for a few years.  But for a few years in the mid-80s, the Celtics and Lakers were *the* show.  Nothing else came close.

How do today's stars compare?  Not so well.

Kareem was a monster in the middle, and that little skyhook of his was a lethal weapon.  Most players weren't tall enough to stop him period, but when he turned and flipped his wrist, soaring the ball over everyone's head with incredible accuracy, yeah.  It was done. 

Larry Bird was the basketball version of a hockey sniper.  No spot on the court was a problem for him.  No shot was impossible.  For certain, no defender could stop him.  For long.  And even if they did, for a while, Bird's drive to always win took control, and he was willing to help his team any way possible.

Magic Johnson ran the show, and ran the Showtime Lakers.  The fast-break was a thing of beauty when run by Johnson, and his head-fake, no-look passes still get highlight reel treatment - this after twenty years!  That's how good, how smooth he was.  You blinked, and were smoked.  Just like that.

James Worthy - another beast.  Kevin McHale.  Robert Parrish.  These are the names that all true Celtic and Laker fans know.

Thursday, the latest incarnation of the Lakers/Celtics takes center stage.  But, alas, these two teams remind you nothing of those 80s vintage squads.  The reasons why? 

Kobe Bryant.  As good as he is is as difficult as he is to adore.  Bryant's aloofness - now toned down - still shines through.  He's a battler, like Bird, and a deadly shooter, like Bird.  But charisma?  Hollywood charm?  He'd need a lifetime of acting lessons, and still be the flattest actor on a one-star bomb movie.  There's no charm with him.  And yeah, Bird could be so driven, too, but the man at least had some charm to his game.  Bryant has none - the coldness of a mercenary.

KG?  A really nice, well-rounded player, sure.  A lightning rod for adoration?  Uh...not unless you live in Boston.  KG, like Ray Allen, does not really inspire you to pay attention for any reason whatsoever.  Yeah, he's good.  Really good.  But then most players in the NBA are really good.  So while he's part of the Big Three, what reason do I have to watch him play the game?

What basketball has lacked since the mid-80s is a superstar that's part uber-athlete, game statesman and shameless entertainer.  Michael Jordan, for all of his greatness, was beyond driven.  He drove himself to the greatest heights that a basketball player can reach, and then went further.  And people loved him - still do.  But for popularity?  His dunks got the press, and how his tongue wagged out of his mouth.  But he didn't make you laugh, and didn't make you watch the game for entertainment purposes.  He made you watch to see what he was going to do next.  But watching a game for the awe value seems less fun to me than watching it for the pure joy.

The Showtime Lakers were joy.  Five men playing a game, for fun, to win, but for fun.  With joy.  They were fun, rambunctious, and we watched because Showtime was infectious.  You had to grin, and gasp, and enjoy the television.  Today's game is a grind, of relentless half-court pressure and boring, predictable ball movement.  Only when the shot clock nears ten do you see any action, and then it's usually either a pass into the big man, who makes a quick move to the floor and goes for the short J, or the ball is zipped around looking for an open 3 somewhere.  Teams are denied the fast break.  There's no speed in the game anymore.  There's no joy.  There is determination, grit and pride, but basketball doesn't lend itself nearly as well to grit and determination as it does to joy and fluid play on the court. 

So no, it's not old school.  Not by a long shot.  It is what it is.  The two best teams, the two most fundamentally sound teams, two of the best defensive teams facing off for the title.  Undoubtedly, this is going to be a compelling Finals.  There's an evenness between them.  But there's no giant mega-watt Magic smile that you have to see.  There's no joy.  And that's why the NBA struggles with TV ratings.  There are only sports reasons to watch the game, and then mostly only for hard-core fans.  The casual fan can't stand the slow pace and draconian defense.  So while it sounds great - the Lakers and Celtics once again - don't turn on the TV hoping to see an 80s-era series appear.  It just won't happen.