So the Big Fella got me, I'm still a ring short

But I'm the one that's still gettin it done on the court

See I still got time, cuz I'm 29

But for the Big Has-Been it's the end of the line

He big, he's slow, he's dumb and 36

And his last two rings came with the help of a fix

And we also all know what Shaq can't do

See, Shaq can't win without a Hall of Fame 2

That's right, Shaq can't win without a Hall of Fame 2

Last time I checked, I was the league MVP

While Shaq was watching me on his flat-screen TV

See, I led my team to a #1 seed

While Shaq led his to the worst mark in the league

But he couldn't be a man and share the blame

So he trashed his own team and put 'em all to shame

And once again he proved what he can't do

That's right, Shaq can't win without a Hall-of-Fame 2

Shaq can't win without a Hall-of-Fame 2

And so Shaq bailed and let the bad aura linger,

While pledging to the Suns to put a ring on their finger

But instead he went out meekly in round number one

And just like that, his promise was done

So join me now in raising a glass

And raise right up the fat bastard's ass

Because we all know what Shaq can't do

Shaq can't win without a Hall-of-Fame 2

That's right Shaq can't win without a Hall-of-Fame 2