We're in the middle of bowl season, and we've already seen a lot of great games with thrilling finishes.  Last night was a particular treat, as Boston College topped Boise State and Nebraska upset Michigan, with both games coming down to red zone defensive stands, and in Michigan's case, the greatest lateral play in history.   Yes, even greater than Stanford-Cal with the band on the field. Even though Michigan didn't score.   If you haven't seen it, go download it.  It's incredible.

    As much as watching these games is enjoyable, there are 28 of them, which means 28 teams end their seasons like champions rather than just one.  For those of you that think this is going to become another anti-BCS rant, you are mistaken.  Sadly mistaken.  In fact, get a Kleenex and go cry about it.

    Rather, what I note is that with 28 games come 28 champions which in turn leads to up to 28 coaches getting Gatorade Baths.  That's right, the tired old tradition of dousing your coaches head with a cooler full of the most abundantly marketed of sports drinks.   I had almost forgotten about the phenomenon when Memphis coach Tommy West brought it to my attention.

    "I didn't want to be the only coach in the country to get a Gatorade bath -- then lose the game," he said after his Tigers closed out a 38-31 victory over the Akron.  Memphis had looked in total control after scoring a touchdown to go up 38-17 with 3:09 on the clock in the 4th quarter, and a shower seemed in order.  But nobody told the Zips, who proceeded to score a touchdown, recover an onside kick and score again.

    Anyway, the whole thing got me thinking about the history of this oh so stupid of traditions, and after an arduous 2 minute Google search, I had discovered my answer.  Turns out an author Darren Rovell has an entire blog about Gatorade, and has written a book about the product (weird).  He notes that the tradition started 20 years ago, when New York Giants coach Bill Parcells was first splashed by linebacker Harry Carson.

    My first experience with the concept was back in 1994 when I witnessed an illfated attempt to shower Joe Paterno as Penn State closed out their undefeated regular season against Michigan State with a 59-31 win.  Man that team's offense was good - the nation's best offensive line coupled with QB Kerry Collins, RB Ki-Jana Carter, TE Kyle Brady, and WR Bobby Engram.   Heck, the case could be made that Penn State had the top skill position players at all 4 spots. (Ok, so there was also Rashaad Salaam and Steve McNair to consider, but whatever.)   I digress.   Anyway, JoePa was wiley enough to avoid the getting more than a splash down the back of his waterproof jacket, though as I recall, it was water and not Gatorade.  Perhaps my memory is incorrect, but it was an assumption that I had, and when I first personally saw Gatorade used, I was aghast. 

    Finally the time has come to speak out, and as such, I list my reasons for being against Gatorade Baths:

1) It shows the coach no respect

I'm sorry, but aren't football coaches supposed to be team leaders and disciplinarians?  I always saw coaches as being kind of inspirational drill sergeants, and frankly, I can never see a drill seagent tolerating being pranked on national TV.

2) It's sticky and unsanitary

Why can't you just dump water on their heads?  I shudder at the thought of Gatorade in my hair and along my back.  To quote my little sister, whose brevity on such matters is usually demonstrated as such: "Eww.  Gross."

3) It's not a suitable reward

Theoretically it's suposed to be in celebration of a coach's victory, but come on, when a theater director puts on  a good show, they're given flowers as a reward, not a sports drink a la tet.  Hmm, now I have the image of the celebrations reversed, and man that is an entertaining image.

4) It's disrespectful to your opponent

Yes, celebration is in order whenever you have a big win, but most baths happen while the game is still going on, and I think it's just rubbing it in.  Futhermore, your head coach has to go and shake the other coach's hand, and he shouldn't go while looking like a rowdy frat boy.  Also as the Memphis-Akron game proves, it ain't over till it's over.   Nebraska's Bill Callahan was doused during the final play, as most Nebraska players thought the play was over.

5) It could kill your coach

Seriously.  You may think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not.  I have real concern for whoever wins the Orange Bowl this year, because I think JoePa or Bobby Bowden really might have a heart attack if caught offguard.  And let's not forget about celebrations in cold weather climates.  You try to pull this stunt at Lambeau Field and you might have a coach popsicle.

Note:  Alert reader Ray_Fitzgerald informed me that this actually has happened.  Another Google search reveals George Allen died of pneumonia a few weeks after being doused with ice water in 1990 while coaching for Long Beach State.  While not conclusively linked as contributing to the death, it certainly gives you pause.

6) The novelty has worn off

Bill Parcells has now been showered 17 times in his career.  It's not original anymore, no one is surprised when it happens.  It's time to retire it.

7) Bryant Gumbel is against it 

Do I really need to say anything more?  His word is solid gold.  Everyone knows that.

(photo courtesy of Darren Rovell's Gatorade Blog)