NBA: After trading Rasheed Wallace and  Maurice Evans for Kevin Garnett the Pistons run the table and finish 78-4. Losing only one of their remaining 50 plus games to the Memphis Grizzlies after the Nebraska football team repeatedly runs on the court while Chuauncey Billups shoots. In the playoffs the Pistons become the first team to win a championship without scoring 100 points (in all four games) defeating the Spurs 12-9, 15-14, 31-30, and 4-1. Meanwhile on the west coast Larry Brown and Isaih Thomas arrange for a middle-weight boxing match at the MSG while Allen Iverson haplessly scores 50 points on every team he plays before realizing he is still a 76'er.

Rasheed Agrees: The ball don't lie - niether do my 2006 predictions.

NHL: Nothing about the NHL is funny. I don't plan on anyone getting stabbed with a skate or anyone being strangled by an octopus. Ottawa in 6.

MLB: After going 5-27 through the first 32 games of the season the Detroit Tigers are replaced by the Detroit Pistons who beat the Red Sox for the pennant. In the ensuing months Bill Simmons writes 9 books about the atrocity. Over in the National League the Cubs underachieve because "white guys don't play well in heat" and the Milwaulkee Brewers trade thier mascot "Bennie" and a pack of sausages for Jason Bay. No one saw it coming. Not even the relish.

NCAA FB: Lloyd Carr joins the postal service while the nation discovers Pete Carrol is really a robot. USC doesn't lose a game in '06 - and the Longhorns lose 2. One to USC and one to Baylor after the Nebraska team runs on the field. Now I know I already used that joke. But 1. It is hilarious. and 2. I wish the Nebraska team would stop ruining 2006.

Notice: The play is not over. And Michigan is not on the field.

NCAA BB: Adam Morrison falls off the national radar after he shaves his dirty mustache. Duke beats Michigan State in the final four and the Spartan fans burn the city down. Over a hundred people are arrested including 40 or so Nebraska players who were reportedly "just running through".

Did anyone think to get Adam Morrison one of these, (above) for Christmas? No? What about Festivus then.

NFL: The Patriots beat Peyton Manning at home in another choke fest interception laden game. The Patriots roll in the Super Bowl as Vinateri kicks a game winning field goal to lift the P-Men over the Bears.

(Now guess which prediction is real)

Normally I would have said the last one about the NFL but can that game arguably occur without someone running on the field? Highly unlikely.

Hopefully Tom Brady can make one of my 2006 predictions a correct one.