You wouldn't know it but sports current events news is all over the
radar this week not just around the gravitational pull of Barry Bonds'
head. Here are just a few of the stories that you may have missed this
week, with some interesting analysis that would even make a Duke
lacrosse or Northwester soccer player laugh.

No No Hitters- Not only has there been no perfect games since Randy
Johnson's perfect game two years ago, there as also been no- no
hitters. Part of this can be contributed to better fields which have
helped reduce errors and part of it can be contributed to Delmon
Young, who either hits the ball or hits the umpire with a bat.

All in the Family- Speaking of the Young family, Delmon's older
brother Dmitri announced Monday that he will turn himself into
Birmingham police on charges of aggravated assault stemming from an
April incident with his 21-year-old ex-girlfriend. Apparently Dmitri
had mistaken his significant other for a bag of pork rinds.

We're Going Streaking- A 5-3 win over Minnesota Thursday gave the
Detroit Tigers a seven game winning streak- their longest since 1993.
In an unrelated story, the Detroit Lions haven't won seven games since
1993.

Gauransheed? - There has been much talk lately about Rasheed Wallace
guaranteeing a win in game four over the Cavaliers. Since his bold
statements the Pistons have lost both games, and are trailing the
Cavaliers in the best of seven series 3-2. Some say it was a case of
'Sheed being a loud mouth, I just think it was a feable attempt to
take attention off of his ever-growing bald spot.

For Whom the Bell Tolls- Baltimore Orioles slugger Albert Belle was
arrested again this week on stalking charges. The judge has issued a
restraining order and required Belle to sit through the entire first
season of Bonds on Bonds.

Tressel Time- Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel has come to terms
with the Ohio State athletic department. Tressel will be paid $ 2.4
million more dollars this year, or 240,000 red sweater vests.

Get Cup Crazy- The 2006 World Cup rosters have been finalized and they
will involve 736 players ages 17-40 that you've never heard of.

Fault- Marco Ancic of Croatia defeated James Blake in three sets to
reach the Hamburg Masters quaterfinals earlier this week. Ten bucks
says he would have beaten Blake in two sets if he would have advanced
to the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburg Masters quaterfinals.

Jon Gunnells is a journalism senior at Michigan State University who
wonders how Ohio State can pay Jim Tressel and still stay under the
salary cap and pay the rest of its players. He can be reached at
gunnell2@msu.edu