The 17 game NFL regular season resembles a Triple Crown thoroughbred horse race, both in strategy and in the strain it places on participants due to its physically demanding and emotionally draining length.  Comprised of The Kentucky Derby, The Preakness and The Belmont Stakes, the Triple Crown offers the ultimate challenge to the world's finest equine athletes, with each successive race adding 1/4 mile in distance to the previous race.   This calls for the optimum blend of physical stamina, mental toughness and strategy.    There are basically 3 ways to approach the long TC races:  some horses are rabbits and come out quickly hoping to get the early lead and hang in gamely.  Others are plodders or pacers, attempting to keep a steady pace throughout the race.  Finally there are the closers:  those unique animals capable of building momentum and actually finishing the race under a full head of steam.  The mighty Secretariat, in setting the Kentucky Derby Record, actually ran each successive quarter of the Derby more quickly than the previous quarter.   And of course, there are the dogs:  long-shot participants with no real chance of winning without divine (or perhaps criminal) intervention.

  The last two Super Bowl Champs, each with a Manning at the helm, were classic closers.  Each team got off to a rather rocky start, but righted itself, found its footing and performed at their highest level during the last 3rd of the regular season and throughout the playoffs.  Who looks to have the winning strategy from our quarter-pole persptive?

The Rabbits:  Keep in mind that some rabbits are strategically entered to try to lure the plodders and closers into using up their energy early, thereby defeating them strategically where they would otherwise not be able to compete physically.   Here are the teams performing like Rabbits thus far:

Buffalo Bills:  Kudos to the Bills for an exhilarating and solid start, knocking off a tough Jacksonville squad on enemy turf and routing the supposedly talented Seahawks along with workmanlike victories over the Bengals & Raiders-both big time dogs.  With an absolute cake-walk of a season including 2 games each with the rebuilding Dolphins, wobbly Jets and mourning Patriots, look for Buffalo to hang on and gain a playoff spot this season.

NY Giants:  Does New York's strong finish last year combined with a good start this year suggest that the team is hitting on all cylinders?  Hardly.  While a good team with a maturing Eli figuring how to win in the NFL, the defense has lost ground this year and Plaxico's cameo as T.O. wannabe suggests too much drama for Prime Time again this year.  Look for the Gints to be served with wake-up calls from Dallas and Philly.   A very physical schedule remains for NY with Baltimore and Pittsburgh on tap as well.

Tennesse Titans:  These guys certainly aren't built like rabbits and Jeff Fisher's style of football has been known to win Superbowls.  By design the Titans are more of a plodder, so their quick start bodes ill for the AFC, especially the Colts and Jaguars.  The Titans achilles heel will be the QB position, where Fisher will likely rue throwing away a No.1 pick on Slackman Vince Young.   I don't see Kerry Collins taking anybody to the Superbowl unless its on a date, but the Titans will make the playoffs and might win a game or two there as well.

Like 99% of the sports fans in America living outside of Boston, I have been gagging all year long on the mountain of superlatives heaped on the 2007 New England Patriots.  "The Greatest Team in History; the Greatest Offensive Juggernaut of All Time; Tom Brady-the greatest Quarterback in NFL History etc."-every week another passel of glowing paens to the Cheaters from Beantown.  It seemed we would never get relief.

Of course, all of these speculative exercises in compartive sports history were merely subjective -perhaps fun to entertain, especially if you are a Chowderhead. Well, at least now we have a proven superlative that fits: Grass-stained Tom Brady and the high powered offensive machine that scored a whopping 14 points in the biggest game of their lives have proven themselves to be the biggest choke artists in the history of sports.    Goliath was a slim favorite over David compared to the edge given to the Pats prior to kick-off.   Secretariat went off at shorter odds than the tight-collared fold-ups from New England.   Kobiyashi squaring off against the Olson Twins in a hot dog eating contest would be a less prohibitive favorite.

Yet they appled it up.  Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.  Even here in February, the Giants have given sports fans the gift that will keep on giving throughout sports history.  Mighty Brady has struck out.  Darth Belichick has been slain by Eli Skywalker.  Who woulda thunk it?

The 1972 Miami Dolphins finally got to uncork that champagne, and I imagine this is the sweetest their toast has ever tasted.   Despite the fact that those '72 Dolphins remain the only undefeated team in modern NFL history, no one ever thought to hail them as "The Greatest Team in History."  And for good reason.  While Shula's team was a great team, going unbeaten in any given NFL season requires a dicey combination of scheduling, luck and consistent performance.   Those 1972 Dolphins had all three and sit alone in the record books.

 There are a number of other great teams deserving consideration as the Greatest of All Time, including the 1985 Bears with their lone loss, Lombardi's Packers of Super Bowl I & II, and various Steeler, Cowboy and 49er Super Bowl Champs. They have one thing in common that allows them to be in the running:  they won their Super Bowl to cap a magnificent season.

 These Patriot  Pretenders to greatness ultimately couldn't finish the job.  Like George H.W.Bush vs. Saddam Hussein in the first Gulf War;  like Mike Tyson against Buster Douglas;  like the Russian National Hockey Team vs. Team U.S. A.  in the 1980 Olympic Games, the Belichicks got tossed into the dust-bin of NFL history by a valiant, and certain to be beloved New York Giants cadre of scrappy underdogs.

God Bless them every one.

Coach Tony Dungy of the Indianapolis Colts is the last guy one would expect to find in the middle of a controversy.   A devoutly Christian, highly respected man, Dungy has given abundantly to his team and the Indianapolis community.  But here we are a week after the Colts' miserable flop in the playoffs against the Chargers, and the local talk shows are abuzz with opinions about Dungy's pending decision on whether to come back for another season.

 Surprisingly, the opinions seem about evenly divided on whether Dungy should stay.  Six months ago, support for Dungy would have been in the 80-90% range.  Despite the controversial suggestions by the instigating Jayson Whitlock, Colts fans have become a pretty knowledgeable bunch.   9 seasons watching Peyton Manning's cerebral and extraordinarily competent generalship of the Lighting Offense, coupled with the evolution of the Tampa 2 defense that has been Dungy's trademark have forced Colts fans to develop a keen understanding of  the game in order to follow the complicated action.

 These knowledgeable locals truly recognize the treasure we have in Peyton Manning.  Regardless of who holds the coaching reins,  as long as Manning stays healthy, this team will remain in the thick of things for at least the next 6-8 seasons and probably longer.  A look around the league makes it obvious that NFL franchises flounder without a highly capable quarterback.  Manning is a huge difference maker, matched only by Brady and Favre among active QB's and his work ethic and "laser-rocket arm" will carry the Colts to the playoffs year in and year out, even in the toughest division in football. And no matter who is doing the coaching.

  We also recognize the genius of Bill Polian.  Polian created a mini-dynasty in Buffalo, and the qualifier "mini" is only used because the Bills couldn't convert one of their 4 consecutive Super Bowl appearances into a victory.  Polian is a master assessor of talent and character and understands the salary cap restrictions like no one else in the league except for pehaps New England's Scott Pioli.  Polian continues to improve the level of talent on the Colts'  squad, year in and year out.

 Which brings us back to the man in the middle of the two pillars of Indianapolis Colts football:  The Head Coach.  Tony Dungy has been showered with adulation and favorable press here since his arrival in 2002.  It can quite fairly be said that Dungy has been given the benefit of the doubt, especially after the Colts were pummeled by the Jets, 41-0 in the 2002 playoffs and bounced in 2003 and 2004 by the Patriots.  During the regular season, the Colts have been a juggernaut, winning 12 games in each of the last 5 seasons, an accomplishment unmatched in NFL history.

  But nobody really cares about the regular season when your team packs it in before the Super Bowl.  Dan Marino's fingerprints are all over the record books, but with that giant hole in the middle of his portfolio where the Super Bowl victories should go, it leaves him on the outside looking in when talk begins about the greatness of quarterbacks. 

  And so it is with coaches.  When the greatest coaches in NFL history are brought to mind, Vince Lombardi, Tom Landry, Bill Walsh and Chuck Noll immediately come to come: all multiple Super Bowl victors.  Joe Gibbs,  Vermeil and even Jimmy Johnson may deserve mention in this hallowed group, but Tony Dungy?  Not hardly.

  If he retires now, Dungy will be remembered as a nice man who rode Peyton Mannings' coat-tails to a single Super Bowl victory.   The fact is, he was out-coached by Bill Belichick in each of their post season appearances, only to be saved by a super-human performance by Peyton in last year's AFC championship. 

 This season's post season debacle was entirely inexcuseable.  Dungy actually became a distraction to the team during their critical run-up to the Chargers match-up, with the press incessantly speculating about Dungy's possible retirement.  While it's certain that the coach would have done things differently if given a do-over, the reported fact that his wife and kids moved back to Tampa prior to the season finale speaks volumes about his attention to detail.  Did he think the media would keep  the fact that his kids had enrolled in Tampa schools a secret?  It seems Mrs. Dungy has already made his decision for him.  In his best seller, "Quiet Strength," Dungy speaks glowingly of the Tampa weather and his wife's reluctance to leave in 2001.  Now its just a matter of time.

  Owner Jim Irsay has already announced that Jim Caldwell, with a 26-63 lifetime college coaching record, will take over when Dungy moves on.  Caldwell has been Assistant Head Coach since 2005 and Quarterbacks Coach prior to that.  I am sure he has taught Peyton Manning quite a lot. This team and this town deserve better than Dungy-lite.  There are guys like Bill Cowher and Jason Garrett available out there now: one would think a coach of this caliber would be the missing piece of the puzzle to assure pure Colts dominance for several years.

  Arguably the most vociferous fans in the league, the Colts fans filled the stadium to something like 107% of capacity this season, best in the league.  We have supported the financing and building of Lucas Oil Stadium, to help the team with revenues from luxury box amenities.   We need more than just another nice man to coach these potential champions.  We can't afford to come out flat against another post-season opponent as we have repeatedly including the 2002 shellacking by the Jets, the 2003 and 2004 bungles against the Pats and 2005's home loss to the Steelers.  Last week's flat-liner against the Chargers was just another in a series of coaching failures, very likely to be repeated by a Dungy clone.  It's sad to think we deserve less of the same.

A response to Moss :

  Just because your campaign to get Moss selected as MVP blew up in your face, doesn't mean you can make the thug into a choirboy.   There is a Cowboy Junkies song that sums it up best: 

A man in a crisis falls back on what he knows best:

  A murderer to murder;  a thief to theft.

Moss is just falling back on what he knows best:  getting physical when he can't get his own way.   Too bad there isn't a replay available, I'm sure it would show that Moss was just pushing off,  as usual.  Bad actors generally find the worst possible time to screw up and Moss is no exception.  I am really surprised that he was able to keep his inner punk in check for this long.   As I said in my blog last week, the Pats wannabe the new Raiders, and Randy wants to be the poster boy. 

Just post bail baby!~

Maximumralph

As the NFL gears up for the divisional championships, its time for a brief  and embellished look at the week in sports:

The New England Patriots, released their new team slogan, "Resident Evil" to the media today along with the announcement that they have acquired the rights to the Titan's Pacman Jones.  A spokesman for the Pats announced:  "We feel we are the 21st century version of the Oakland Raiders.  The acquisition of Randy Moss has been so successful that we are expanding our free agent search.  Send us your cast-offs, troublemakers and miscreants. " Informed sources reveal that Bill Belichick has representatives negotiating with the parole board at Leavenworth in order to secure an early release for Michael Vick.  Rumor has it Belichick has lawyers working with agents for Rae Carruth as well.

Looks like those Dallas Cowboys fans, fearing that celebrity airhead Jessica Simpson would bring bad luck to the Cowboys games, were right on the money.  America's Team supporters now refer to Ms. Simpson as Yoko Romo.

T.O.'s blubbering performance post-game in Dallas continues to demonstrate the wacky wide receiver's emotional stablity.  Who does he think he is, Hillary Clinton?

 The San Francisco 49er's, in a desperate move to acquire the 1st draft pick in the 2009 NFL draft,  hired Mike Martz as offensive co-ordinator.   Despite the fact that Martz's work for the Detroit Lions as co-ordinator left them trailing the almost perfectly inept Miami Dolphins for the 2008 premier selection, the 49er's braintrust felt they didn't need to drop much further to secure the rights to Tim Tebow. 

Roger Clemens continues his relentless pursuit of the title Most Hated Man in Sports.   The sputtering Rocket's inarticulate bullying and preposterous legal maneuvering continue to reveal the fact that no one in America ever really liked him much anyway.

Volunteer media punching bag, Isiah Thomas remains on Clemens' heals, with a surgically precise evisceration of the once proud New York Knicks basketball franchise.  As of today, the Knicks have a .265 winning percentage.  The Knicks are horrible on the court, pounded in the press and they are handing out lawsuit money like Mike Tyson at a car dealership.  Are there any adults left in charge in the Knicks' front office? 

In a surprise announcement, Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy will be retiring and will join Dancing with the Stars.  The 2008 fall lineup includes a number of figures from professional sports including Yao Ming of the Houston Rockets, Butterbean of professional boxing fame and tennis star Martina Navratilova.  Producers aren't quite sure who they will partner up with Navratilova, but are working on the details.

The spector of drug use now haunts the world of golf, as the ReMax World's Long Driving Championship came to a close on Christmas day.  It seems Mike Dobbyn's 385 yard poke was bested by Seniors divsion winner, Frank Miller.  Miller's drive was measured at 394 yards.  When tour officials were asked if it was believed steriods were being used, they replied: "No, we think it was Viagra."

Congratulations are in order for the recently engaged Greg "Shark" Norman and tennis champion, Chris Evert.   Chris was seen sporting a 5 carat engagement ring.  As expected, publicity hungry athletes have forged a number of copy-cat engagements in order to get their names back in the news.  Word has it John Daly and Tonya Harding are hooking up. They sealed their engagement with a beer can pull-tab serving as the ring. 

More smooth moves from "Miguel" Simpson, better known as O.J. to most of us, as the Juice put the squeeze on one of his co-defendants in a prohibited phone call.  Clearly in violation of his probationary requirement to not make contact with his co-defendants, O.J. was brought in by agents from You Ring We Spring Bail Bonds of North Las Vegas.  News reports did not include the full alias used by Simpson, but "Miguel Mexico" has a nice ring to it.   The Juice must love that jailhouse cookin'! 

Indiana Pacers President of Basketball Operations, Larry Bird, today announced a series of lectures based on his forthcoming book, "Discipline Your Team like Dr. Spock."  Rejecting the stern, disciplinarian approach favored by coaches like Bobby Knight and John Wooden, Bird has elected a gentler path, more in keeping with the teachings of 50's permissive, Dr. Spock.  The team's lack of success in recent seasons, with constant disruptions from players like Ron Artest, Jamal Tinsley, Shawne Williams and David Harrison speaks volumes about Bird's approach.  As a motivator and coach, Bird looked pretty slick.  As a personnel director and policy enforcer, he truly looks like a hick from French Lick.

The unspoken tragedy surrounding the Marion Jones performance-enhancing drug/perjury scandal is the fact that she didn't have to use them!  Jones would likely have been OIympic champion without using any enhancers. Truly gifted with speed and beauty and grace and strength, she still elected to cheat.  This would be like Tiger Woods executing a foot-mashie to kick his ball out of a bad lie, or Bill Belichick video-taping the sideline signals of his opponents.  Why cheat when you can win fair and square? 

Just because New England is  successful with Randy Moss in the line-up doesn't mean that he is no longer a cancer.  The Patriots are simply in remisssion.