Going into Friday night's game, the Kansas City Royals were having an impossibly horrible season.  Through 26 games, their record stands at 6-20.  For those of you keeping score at home, that is a robust .231 winning percentage.  The Royals are on pace for 37 wins this season.  If they keep up the pace they're currently on, the Royals will obliterate one of the most cherished records in baseball: the 1962 Mets record for losses in a single season.

How bad are things for the Royals?  If the Royals rally and double the win total they're on pace for, they will STILL end up below .500 with a 74-88 record.  I honestly feel bad for every citizen of western Missouri.  First, the Chiefs spring yet another forgettable draft on them.  And now, while they wait for Herm Edwards and his band of merry men to take the field, they have to spend a summer with such studs as career .239 hitter Mark Teahen and Kerry Robinson, who recently suffered from back spasms triggered by laughing at a youth league baseball game (you can't make this stuff up.)  And that doesn't even cover the pitching staff, which might stuggle to record outs in the Rhode Island Interscholastic League.

So, Royals fans, what are your options?  Well, you could bite the buller and witness history, as your team sheds every last shred of dignity.  Or, if you're not really in masochism, you could take the less painful approach of gouging your eyes out with a rusty fork.  Hey, no eyes, no seeing Emil Brown, right?

There is one other option.  Get a satellite dish.  Order the MLB package.  At the conclusion of the season, uninstall the dish and bash Royals management over the head with it.  A lot.