Like my title says: at least they can't lose... well, I don't think that they can, but the way that this team is doing right now, they just might be able to swing it.

I didn't get to see much of the game today because of Mother's Day celebrations, but by the time that I did tune in, the Cubs were allowing themselves to be shut out 0-9. I mean, what the hell?

I wish I knew what the problem is... I wish that there was something, anything that I could point to as the reason for this horrible downward spiral the Cubs have embarked upon. It's like some sickening joke because this team is NOT that bad: not so much that they should be laying down day after day! They're capable of so much more! They have Greg Maddux kicking ass this year! They have the (usually) dependable closer Ryan Dempster... Thay have Carlos Zambrano, Juan Pierre, Matt Murton, Todd Walker: all decent players (even if they aren't perfect, they're not THIS bad!).

I was originally planning on flashing my breasts to Greg Maddux alone (and I'd prefer to flash only him, as he deserves it the most and he REALLY "frosts my cookies") but I'm so desperate to see this team turn around, I'd be willing to flash them all...

However, Mad Dog is the ONLY one who can get "full groupie services" from me... gotta keep it in perspective!! 

Mad Dog would probably be angry with me for my title, but that's exactly what happened to him today.

Doggie pitched a lovely game all the way into the 8th inning, when he was pulled for reliever Scott Eyre. Greg was thrifty with his pitches, keeping his total under 100: he also pulled one of those, "Who's 40?" manuevers and fielded a ball, jumping into the air and doing a 180 to deliver to first base. (His fielding abilities are SO frickin' hot, they make me drool!). Shortly thereafter, Maddy got a base hit and proceeded to steal a base (now, those are just precious to watch because the second that he slides in, a hand goes up and he calls for time).

So then Eyre comes in, and gets the Cubs out of the 8th inning... Here comes Ryan Dempster in the top of the ninth, to close, and he allows two guys to get on base, and then he throws a pitch to Mike Piazza and Mike sends it out of the park.

When the smoke clears, we've lost 3-4 after having a lead of 3-1...

Okay, I should try to be more like Doggie, who feels sorry for Dempster, but nothing bothers me more than Doggie leaving the game with a decent lead, only to be let down by his relief. I've seen it happen for years and it drives me insane! I know that these sorts of things happen, but with Doggie, it's chronic.

Well, I'll do my best to emulate my man and "break out my pom-pons for the next four days" and get ready to watch him kick some ass in the next game he pitches... and fantasize about all of the ways I would "console" him after this loss. ;-) 

Hey, y'all!

Okay, so I'm plugging The Dan and The Schwartz's show, I admit it! I've wanted to for a while, and the Cubs have annoyed me to the point that I don't feel like writing about them at all today, so I'm taking this opportunity while I have it!

I've been listening to The Dan and the Schwartz (want to call him Schwartzy, since I'm so used to saying Schmoltzy: blame Greg's Atlanta years) whenever I can over the last few weeks, and I have to say, they've found a great formula that makes sports topics both interesting and entertaining. They're very good at responding to listener emails (even mine, which are full of Maddux-lust-goodness!). The show runs from 9am-12pm on chevradioam.com (that's 8am-11am for others who, like me, are in the central time zone). You just go to their home page and scroll down a bit until you see what looks like a satellite dish in the left hand menu: click on that and you're in! They're funny, they're talented, and they put up with me, so trust me, you're good!!

Their show is definitely worth tuning in to, so make some time to enjoy their broadcast!

Okay, that sounds mean, I know... but at the time, last night, it was pretty damn funny. After the game, Pierre admitted that he had pissed off 40,000 fans, although that hadn't been his intention. I've no doubt that Pierre wasn't trying to disappoint the fans, but it brings me to another rant that my friends are all too used to hearing...

I have a REAL problem with individuals who use or have used steroids. I look at it this way: let's say that you only cheat once in your life (that's giving the users the benefit of the doubt). Let's say that you cheat on a test that gets you into a big name school and from that point on, you're held in high esteem because you passed that test and got into the big school. Is that okay?

Maybe I just expect too much out of people, but of all the vices that go along with baseball, I simply can't be okay with cheating by using steroids.

As far as I'm concerned, if you cheat, you're out... and you don't get your records, you don't get into the hall (obviously).

I always liked Sammy Sosa... and then there was the corked bat incident. I tried to be forgiving, to think of how horrible he must have felt, but then the logical side of me kicked in and said that there is NO reason that a corked bat should EVER even enter a Major League venue. There's no excuse for it, even if you use it only to hit dingers for the fans in batting practice. A corked bat should NEVER EVER be brought into a stadium. I can't forgive him for high-tailing it during the last game of the 2004 season, either. You just don't do that, especially when the fans have paid to see you and you claim that you do stupid things like use a corked bat to entertain fans. The coup de grace came with the steroids allegations. That was it, I was done. I have no respect left for the man.

I have no respect for anyone that uses steroids... it wasn't an accident that they were used. There have been plenty of players who have achieved great numbers without using them. When I think about the hell that poor Roger Maris went through, even as a Yankee himself (and mind you, the first man to break the Babes record still isn't in the HOF!), when he broke the Babes record in 1961, knowing that guys have cheated to break his record makes me sick.

I guess the bottom line is, if you can't do it right, don't do it at all.

Just for fun, I have a question for y'all...

What do the Cubs need in order to get their asses back in gear?

Now, I'm not looking for answers like, "Lee back in the line-up", or "Wood and Prior healthy"... I'm looking for something a bit more creative and funny...

Tell me what you think they need, and lay into them if you want, this is for the purpose of catharsis...

Let me start... ahem, they need a fireworks display set underneath the dugout bench: that'll really get their asses fired up! ;-)