Poor, sweet Doggie. He has been trying his damndest to win as well as trying to resist the temptation to strangle his teammates.

He lost the battle today (the battle to win... as of now, all Cubs players are accounted for).

The victim: an innocent water cooler sitting in the dugout. The weapon: Number 31's baseball bat. The crime: assault with deadly, lame-o dork swearing. The cooler is now toast...

Time seemed to stop for me when I saw it: his eyes got big, in the infamous "Don't call me Doggie!" manner, and then I saw the bat... the beating was brutal...

Okay, it wasn't  that bad, but I haven't seen him that angry in a LONG time. It's a combination of frustration with the team, himself, and the fact that he's on the road so he can't get any from me (JOKE).

Afterwards, when questioned, Greg pretended he didn't know what the reporters were talking about. When they said, "You know, when you smacked the cooler?" Greg asked, "Was it funny?".

Oh, Doggie, I'm feeling your pain... I'll SO comfort you... Just give me a call, anytime. I wish I could make it better, because it really sucks at the moment... Hang in there, Doggie: I love you!