Warning: This article may contain offensive and/or snarky words that may conjure up images unsuitable for sports fans.

Time for another look at what we won't see or hear this week.

Airplane pilot

"Good afternoon, Cal Bears. We are now beginning our descent into Los Angeles. Please return your snack trays and seat backs to their upright positions and prepare for landing."

Charlie Weis

"Next year I personally promise I will end the streak."

Notre Dame Stadium Announcer

"Tackle made by..."

Florida Gators Athletic Department

"We will have no press conferences nor announcements regarding Tim Tebow today."

Steve Spurrier

"Now do you believe me when I said my vote for Jevan Snead was a mistake?"

Lane Kiffin

"For my next trick, I will

I like Tim Tebow. He’s good for college football because he possesses good work habits, has good ethics and morals, is tough as nails and, unlike some of the other “stars” of college football, he isn’t in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons.

College football needs more Boy Scouts like Tim Tebow.

But I think we’ve had just about enough.

Tim Tebow is a good thing that is start to getting on people’s nerves.

It’s like watching fifty episodes of Barney- those goody-two shoes kids that surround that purple dinosaur tend to get tiresome after a while. There’s just so many over-the-top, sugary-sweet personalities

"Once in a blue moon." That basically means "rarely." Or "probably never."

So this Saturday, as we begin week three of college football, there are some things that we may see or hear we aren't expecting- things that happen once in a blue moon.

I'm not counting on these things to happen, but then again, Mine That Bird, Appalachian State, Caster Semenya, Juan Martin Del Porto, Kanye West and yes, even that Virginia Cavalier mascot (google it on Youtube.com) give me hope that some things don't need a blue moon for them to happen.

Maybe these will happen? Nah.

Lane Kiffin   (Tennessee head coach)

Beats the tar out of the Gators, then humbly holds presser saying, "I feel horrible for Urban Meyer. He is truly the role model for every college coach."

Jim Tressel   (Ohio

"Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world. I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever."

You would think whoever said that quote has a warped view of life and is pretty uneducated, wouldn't you? Maybe it's just a line from a gangsta rap song?

Hold on to your Buck nuts, football fan...Terrelle Pryor said this in response to why he liked Michael Vick.

Are you kidding me?

I would expect that response from a Michael Vick-- before he was busted for torturing dogs, of course--but not from the Ohio State Buckeyes' sophomore quarterback. Their field general.

Classy stuff there, Terrelle.

You pay a tribute to him with your eyeblack in the game against Navy. And after the game, when asked about why you like Vick, you come up with this

Lou Holtz has done it again with another shocking prediction.

Everything in college football will be back to normal when, according to Holtz, the Fighting Irish will go 11-1 and play for the National Championship against Florida in the Rose Bowl. Didn’t he also say the Irish would go 11-1 in 2008? For all of Holtz’ fallibilities on predicting the record of Notre Dame’s football team, one thing remains constant- he never changes his stance.

You have to respect that.

Oh to go through life with rose-colored lenses on, nothing but blue skies above you and that proverbial glass not only half-full, it’s overflowing with some good Kool-aid, baby. Mark May can kiss his ass.

Eventually he’ll be right, it may just take ten years. Someday, some year, the day of

We all know Urban Meyer isn't a fun guy- he's a drill sergeant in blue and orange. So color us a bit stunned when this picture of Meyer appeared on Sports Illustrated's August 9th cover.

Apparently, we are not the only ones shocked.

"That has to be the most ridiculous cover photo ever,"  Tim Tebow told the Gainesville Sun. "How'd they convince him to do that?"

We don't know Tim. It's up to your Superman powers to figure this one out, but your coach, of course, blamed the photographer.

"The guy took like 20 pictures, and at the end, he said, 'Hey, just one time, can you take a picture with your glasses?'" Meyer said with a smile. "I said, 'No, I'm not doing it.' He said, 'C'mon, it's just for me.' 'OK, one picture.'"

"And that's the one they used."

Suuuuuuuuure, coach.

Now don't