For my money, it doesn't get better than Albert Belle when it comes to being a sports fan.   On Wednesday, July 26th, 2006, Albert Belle pleaded guilty to stalking a woman he used to pay for pleasuring him sexually. 

I cannot get enough of this guy.  There have been plenty of talented athletes throughout time.  There have also been plenty of dumb jocks in recent memory.  What then is it, that makes Albert Belle so special?

July 1994, Belle, with a godly +1.100 OPS, was caught with a corked bat and suspended 10 games.  Of course Jason Grimsley went Walter Sobchack and climbed through the air vent to try and switch the corked bat for a ringer.  Belle ultimately got 7 games for the incident.  What's the matter, hitting homers to the 10th row isn't as good as whacking them to the 11th row?

October 1995, Belle gets fined 50 large for chasing reporter Hannah Storm from the dugout.  Dude, media coverage is part of the game, live with it. 

Late October 1995, Belle tries to runover some kids who egged his house on Halloween.  You live in America bro, this happens every year.   

April 1996, Belle chucks a ball at a photographer trying to take a pregame photo of him, luckily Belle's accuracy wasn't great. 

May 1996, Belle takes his sexual frustration out on little Fernando Vina of the Brewers, the lone player who appeared not to be juicing during the 90s, when he rams into him on a double play ball.  Belle was suspended 3 games for the incident.  Pick on the little guy why don't ya. 

1997, first year in Chicago, busts up a thermostat in the locker room because teammates were adjusting the temperature (roid rage anyone?).  He also admits to gambling on sports, and cusses out a reporter by the batting cage.  What'd he walk up to you and ask you to take a urine test?

1998, same day he's named AL player of the week, he's arrested for domestic battery.

February 2006, Belle told not to have any contact with former ex-girlfriend, call-girl, etc., who'm he had stalked.  Joey tracked her with a GPS device and frequently called her and would hang up immediately afterwards. 

July 2006, Belle pleads guilty to stalking charges.  Belle will spend a minimum of 90 days in jail for violating the terms of his bond. 

Athletes are multi-millionaire celebrities these days.  Who of them actually plead guilty to any charged crimes?  Who of them don't put together excellent legal defense teams to keep them out of jail?  Apparently multi-million dollar Joey can't figure it out.  And of course that is the very reason why I love Joey Belle. 

It would take an act of science to engineer another Albert Belle.  Afterall, he was what, about 3 parts Manny, 2 parts T.O., 4 parts Dennis Rodman, 1 part Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, 2 parts Wilton Guerrero,  4 parts Randy Moss, 2 parts Pete Rose, and 3 parts Barry Bonds. 

Quite an incredible specimen Albert Belle, pray tell there will never be another athlete quite like you.

The Rangers went out and traded for All-Star outfielder Carlos Lee on Friday, just a few days before the trade deadline.  One question: why? 

What is the point of this deal for Texas?  You're getting rid of Francisco Cordero who at this point is somewhat expendable considering the fact that he blew a ML record 5 saves in April en route to losing the closing job to Akinori Otsuka.  But in reality, this is a guy who for the better span of 3 years was a quality  closer for Texas.  Opposing hitters only batted around .230 against him.  Cordero is still a hard-thrower averaging more than 9K/9 pitching in an extremely tough league where it's not easy to close.  It was just a bad start to the season for Cordero; he's yielded 5 home runs on the year, as much as he did in '03 and '04 combined!  Why not just chalk this up as an unfortunately poor year and let him work his way out of it in '07?  What, you're really going to tell me Ron Mahay and John Wasdin are better options? 

The Rangers also traded away Kevin Mench, who is more than a quality corner outfielder who can step in and replace Lee.  Granted, Mench doesn't have Lee's consistency, but he has displayed Lee's type of power.  You remember the 7 game stretch in April where Mench was seen circling the bases day after day, and no, not during batting practice?   Mench is still just 28, and really has only played 1 full season in the bigs.  He has never really been given a consistent chance to play full-time with the Rangers.  He has always been platooned, hurt, or in bad favor with the manager.  Completely mistreated by the Rangers, Mench will become a 30 home run hitter with the Brewers.

So already, between giving up Cordero and Mench, the Rangers are trading away 2 quality major leaguers to get Carlos Lee.  Now, onto the worst part.  If Lee rejected a 4 year 48 million dollar offer by the Brewers, what do the Rangers expect him to sign for in the off-season?  Quite obviously it's going to take more than $12 million/year, and possibly more than 4 years to get him locked up.  It's a stretch for me to believe Carlos Lee is worth $12 million in '07, let alone '10.  There's not a chance I'm throwing him 14 or 15 mil per year.  Can you really disagree with me here?  So now that we've established that Lee is barely worth a 4 year/$48 million contract, and certainly unworthy of anything more, we must ask what sense does it make to trade away a few players to put yourself in position to overpay Carlos Lee for 5 years in the future?  This obviously doesn't make sense.  If you weren't planning on signing either Mench or Cordero in the future and were looking to dump them, then I'm certain you could have fetched much more useful players on the trade market in exchange.

What do the pitching starved, bullpen lacking Rangers need Carlos Lee for?  If you're going to break off some valuable parts, make sure you're getting back value that will help your team in return (pitching!) and not helping an area you're already strong in. 

In light of the upcoming baseball trading deadline, I came up with a list of the worst (most one-sided) deadline deals of the decade.  Hopefully this should serve as a cautionary tale for GMs before they go out and sell off their teams and get nothing in return, or on the flip side, acquire a useless player and give away superstars in the making.  The list takes two factors into account.  The first is how much the acquired player helped/has helped the team that acquired him.  The second is how little was given away in return.  Feel free to comment if you disagree with the order or if you would like to add to the list.  Keep in mind, this is strictly a trade deadline list since 2000. 

10.  Jeremy Bonderman to the Tigers - (July 5, 2002) This is one of the more one-sided 3 way deals around. In 2002, the A's sent Carlos Pena, Franklyn German, and a player to be named later to the Tigers. The A's got back a year and a half of average starts from Ted Lilly and 2 minor-leaguers from the Yankees. The Yanks got one and a half less than mediocre years from the now defunct Jeff Weaver.  Of course, the wild card in the deal, Jeremy Bonderman became the player to be named later. Bonderman has had the longest tenure with the team to whom he was traded of all the players involved in the deal. By 20, he had already pitched a full season in the bigs.  Now at 23, he's begun to dominate teams.

9.  Aramis to the Cubs - (July 23, 2003) At the time of the trade Aramis Ramirez had already been a 30 homer/100RBI guy at the hot corner for the Pirates, and he was only 25 years old!  Such talent and prowess would ordinarily command slightly more than Jose Hernandez, Matt Bruback, and a player to be named (Bobby Hill), but not in the case of this trade.  Not only did the Cubs get Ramirez from Pittsburgh, but they also received Kenny Lofton who is still a productive major leaguer and cash in the deal.  Since the deal, Aramis has already smashed over 100 homers with the Cubs and has hit over .300 twice.  Quite a steal.    

8.  Indians get Sizemore, Lee - (June 27, 2002) Ordinarily this wouldn't have been such a poor trade.  Bartolo Colon, a Cy Young winning pitcher, for Grady Sizemore and Cliff Lee (and Brandon Phillips and Lee Stevens).  The only problem with the trade is that Omar Minaya mistakenly identified the Expos as a contender in 2002 while he was running the team on behalf of MLB.  Colon pitched as well as expected for the Expos, winning 10 games in one half of the season.  Only problem, the Expos were a pretender, and Minaya gave away an All-Star in Sizemore, and a pitcher who's averaged 16 wins over the past two seasons in Lee.  This would've been a triply bad trade if the Indians hadn't given up on Phillips so soon.  Still, Shapiro benefited well. 

7.  Scott Kazmir to the Devil Rays - (July 30, 2004) In a desperate move, the Mets under GM Jim Duquette, felt the pressure to make a move when they decided they were in the playoff hunt. In reality, they weren't close to the playoffs, and certainly, Victor Zambrano wasn't the guy to put them over the edge. Granted, Victor Zambrano was the best pitcher the Devil Rays had at the time, but that's like saying "she's the hottest girl in my aeronautical engineering class." Zambrano was already injured at the time of the trade, and he promptly went on the DL. Since the trade, Scott Kazmir has developed into an All-Star at the young age of 22, and has only room to grow.  Imagine that, Zambrano may never pitch again, and Scott Kazmir looks like a perennial All-Star.

6.  Michael Young to Texas - (July 19, 2000) This 3-time All-Star and hits machine escaped Toronto in 2000 along with Darwin Cubillan for Esteban Loaiza. The Blue Jays were looking for a boost at the trading deadline to compete with the Red Sox and Yankees, and wound up finishing 4.5 games out. Loaiza pitched 2 and a half sub-par seasons for Toronto. The worst part, the year after the Blue Jays let Loaiza go, he won 21 games with a sub-3.00 era, and had the best year of his career! No matter how you slice it, the Rangers got a stud in Young for a very cheap price

5.  Carlos Beltran to the Astros - (June 24, 2004) 3 way deal between the Astros, A's, and Royals sent Beltran from small-market hell in KC to a legit contender in Houston.  This is the poster-child for what a great deal can do for your team mid-season.  Beltran played 90 games for the 'Stros, homering 23 times, just below once every fifteen at-bats.  He lead the Astros to the wild card and NLCS and had a legendary playoff performance.  He stepped up his game, smashing 8 homers in 12 playoff games, driving in 14 runs, scoring 21, and hitting .435 in the process.  Meanwhile, the other players involved in the deal have been useless.  They include the injured Octavio Dotel, John Buck, Mark Teahen, and Mike Wood. 

4.  Contreras to the White Sox - (July 31, 2004)  After opening the cash register to sign Contreras as a free-agent from Cuba, the Yanks panicked and gave up on him after just 27 starts.  They pawned him off to the White Sox for Esteban Loaiza, a sheer sign they were sick of his mediocrity, injuries, and disappointment.  A year later Contreras seemed to have found himself and became an integral piece in the White Sox World Series victory, not to mention one of the top pitchers in the league.  Oh yeah, can't leave out the fact that the Yankees grew so dissatisfied with Contreras that they paid the White Sox to take him off their hands.  Way to go on that trade Kenny.

 3.  Schmidt to the Giants - (July 30, 2001) I don't believe anyone has accused the Pirates of being frugal at the trading deadline, but they were extra generous in 2001. They gave up fireballer Jason Schmidt, whose talent theycompletely misjudged, for ugatz that year. While Schmitty became a Cy Young contender in each year after the trade, I hardly believe anyone knows the whereabouts of the players for whom he was traded- Armando Rios and Ryan Vogelsong.

2.  Rolen to the Cards - (July 29, 2002) Rolen is a baseball player of the highest degree. Simply said, he is one of the best defensive and offensive third basemen in the game, possibly of all-time. The Phillies should've made more efforts to sign him long-term; he's too good to give up for Placido Polanco, Mike Timlin, and what was thought to be the prized-prospect in the trade, Bud Smith. Anyone hear from him since the no-hitter? Didn't think so- Rolen's still hitting .300 with power, winning gold gloves, and going to the playoffs ever year. 

1.  Schilling to Diamondbacks, Red Sox
(July 26, 2000) Schilling from the Phillies to the Diamondbacks for Omar Daal, Nelson Figueroa, Travis Lee, and Vicente Padilla.  Forms one of the best 1-2 punches in baseball along with Randy Johnson, leading the D-Backs to a World Series victory the next year. 

(November 28, 2003) Sent from the Diamondbacks to the Red Sox for Casey Fossum, Brandon Lyon, and Jorge de la Rosa.  Goes on to lead the Red Sox to a World Series win the next year.  Notice a trend? 
Also, no team got anything decent back in exchange for Schilling, amazing!  

I can't get enough of the latest twist in the Barry Bonds saga.  It was reported a few days ago that Barry Bonds' legal team was preparing a defense case because they were expecting him to be indicted some time this week.  Bonds is expected to be charged for perjury and tax evasion.

My favorite twist- Barry is upset at his friend, Steve Hoskins, who is reportedly prepared to testify as a star witness for the prosecution team against Bonds.  San Francisco Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams have done an incredible job unearthing details and investigating this story for the past few years, with much of their work being revealed in Game of Shadows. 

It's already known that Bonds is unhappy with his former childhood friend, financial business manager, and best man at his wedding, Steve Hoskins, for finking on him- simply ratting him out.  As if the media, fans, Congress, and both fellow and former athletes don't hammer Bonds unreasonably, now he has to deal with close friends turning on him.  If there's anyone who has it worse in this world, please let me know, because I don't think there's a single living and breathing soul on this earth who has it worse than Bonds. 

Seriously.  How can a long-time buddy, a childhood pal, willingly testify against a close friend in a court of law?  The thought is nothing short of saddening and alarming. 

While you wipe away your tears, read the rest of the story behind the star witness of the prosecution, Steve Hoskins.

Let's remember that Bonds approached the FBI in 2003 to have his close pal, long-time childhood friend and business manager, Steve Hoskins, investigated for "selling bogus baseball memorabilia embossed with forged Bonds autographs" according to the San Francisco Chronicle. 

Sorry Barry, we may live in a forgiving world, but it's also one where people drive on both sides of the road, where Karma can come back to you, and where things that go-around also come around, and often times worse.  You can't approach the FBI to have them investigate a friend and business manager of yours, and then feel surprised and abandoned when he turns around and testifies on you. 

You are the exact definition of a hypocrite.  This story could not be more perfectly scripted Barry, thanks.   Also, we should remember that Bonds was having the FBI investigate Hoskins for the sale of memorabilia, because Bonds wanted to ensure all that money was directed towards his mistress, Kimberly Bell, and the house he was financing for her in Arizona.  Boo-hoo Barry, we feel bad for you, you horrendous hypocrite. 

I am utterly ashamed and appalled to be a fan of the Cincinnati Bengals.  I have spent the last 17 years of my life as a fan of the Bengals, not much by most people's standards, but quite a lot considering I'm only 22 years old.  To help you with the math, that's 68% of my life lived in misery (excepting the 1988 and 2005 seasons).  As a Bengals fan, I have had to endure some of the more pathetic, grueling, and embarrassing times than any other sports fan has to live through.  After all, the Bengals were the punch-line of the NFL for the duration of the 90s, the automatic win, the lock for the lottery (if there was one), the most poorly run organization in all of football, possibly in all of professional sports. 

From 1990-2004, the Bengals provided a stellar 11-1 record when it came to losing seasons.  Were fans supposed to rally when the Bengals thrice anti-climactically crept to 8-8 seasons?  Of course not; fans were just pissed they took a 5-11 team that would've had a high draft pick, and stuck us with the 16^th pick of the draft, far after the season had already been lost. 

Even if the Bengals had acquired higher draft positions in those 8-8 seasons, Bengals fans would have been assured disappointment like any other year when the draft rolled around.  How many consecutive screw-ups can you make?  David Klingler, Dan Wilkinson, Ki-Jana Carter, Reinard Wilson, Akili Smith, Peter Warrick, the list goes painfully on. 

It's quite peculiar however; 3-13 years, busted top draft picks, all hope washed away with the poor weather in week 4, I could handle all that.  Losing stars and favorites like Boomer Esiason, Carl Pickens, Takeo Spikes, and Corey Dillon, was tough to take, but still bearable. 

I'm afraid to say, however, that it is what the Bengals have recently become over the past year, and more specifically, past few months, that has made me embarrassed and ashamed to say that I am a Bengals fan.  Looking for the edge in the draft by taking players with poor character such as Odell Thurman and Chris Henry in 2005 when they slipped down a round was not the answer I sought to mend my broken football heart.  The four recent arrests and troubles of Henry during the season should've proved that was  not the proper way to build a team.  Maybe I could have tolerated just the two of them, and chalked that up to an experimental 2005 draft.

However, the Bengals became incessant, rather, insistent.  They became insistent upon building the team with talented players who fell on draft day because of questionable characters.  The decided they could capitalize on skilled players the way the Vikings did with Randy Moss.  The Bengals did not settle with the problems of Chris Henry (several arrests) and Odell Thurman (violation of league's substance abuse policy); nay, they selected Frostee Rucker (alleged sexual harassment and spousal abuse cases), A.J. Nicholson (alleged breaking and entering cases, burglary, and sexual abuse case), and most recently, further cementing their motive, Ahmad Brooks out of Virginia in the 3^rd round of the supplemental draft.  Brooks has the talent of a 1^st rounder, but his stock fell after he was kicked off the Virginia team for reportedly failing a drug test.

This is ridiculous.  It is more clear than the bling-bling in Chad Johnson's ears.  The Bengals have a specific plan to capitalize on talented players with character issues.  Bengals owner Mike Brown in an AP article said, "We want our fans to know that we share their concerns regarding the recent off-field conduct of several Bengals players.  We expect our players to be good citizens, as most are, and we hold them accountable for their conduct under team and league rules."  How can I possibly believe that?  I for one, long-time Bengals fan, will no longer support the Bengals and what they now stand for, regardless of what Brown pleads.

Why do it, why take the chances on these guys?  What, after a decade and a half of losing you didn't think I could take more?  You think I don't know what it's like to live in punishment?  You think you need to stoop to these lows to put together a winning team and please your fans?  Well you're absolutely wrong.

Until I see changes in the drafting and team-building policies of the Cincinnati Bengals franchise, I will no longer be a fan.  I can tolerate losing with dignity, and certainly winning with class, but I cannot handle winning with criminals.  Until further notice, I will no longer be wearing my orange and black.