By now, most people know about the irregular heart beat of David Ortiz which subsequently has taken the pulse of the Boston Red Sox.  His indefinite departure from the game has left the AL MVP award open for question. 

It's undeniable that despite Boston's horrendous August (they are 8-18 at the time of this writing, worst in the majors for the month), Big Papi was the run-away favorite for AL MVP.  His superior power numbers (47HR, 121 RBI both lead the league) propensity for late inning, and especially game-winning hits, and the fact that he finished 2nd to Alex Rodriguez last year (and voters have a tendency to give make-ups), all made Ortiz the easy favorite for the award.

But now that he's gone indefinitely, who becomes the new favorite for AL MVP?  Joe Mauer now steps in as the favorite for AL MVP.  The reasoning is simple.  Mauer is putting together one of the single most impressive all-around years by a player at his position in the history of the game.  Just as important as his statistical season is the fact that it has resulted in the Twins having an extremely impressive record and a legitimate shot at the playoffs. 

The 23 year old Twins catcher is more than matching all expectations held for him when he was taken with the 1st overall pick in 2001.  He's currently batting .356, which leads all of baseball.  He's blowing away all catchers with a .948 OPS- the next highest is Victor Martinez of the Indians who is at .840.  Mauer's bat control has been exceptional; he has only struck out 40 times, while walking 63 times, giving him one of the best ratios in the game. 

It's not just the hitting aspect where Mauer has stood out against the catching competition.  Mauer is tied for the lead amongst catchers for most stolen bases with 8 this year.  The two others he's tied with (Russell Martin and Jason Kendall) each have attempted two more steals.  Mauer is also 5th in the majors with an impeccable .996 fielding percentage.  Additionally, he has caught an impressive 37% of base stealers.  Perhaps even more impressive than that statistic, is the reality that opposing runners don't attempt to steal on him.  Only Pudge Rodriguez and John Buck have been run on less amongst regular catchers. 

Now that David Ortiz is side-lined, Joe Mauer is the new AL MVP favorite.  He's exceedingly better in comparison to other players at his position than anyone else in the league.  What's more impressive, is that his all-around play has led the once counted-out Twins to a resurgence over the Summer, and a current lead in the AL Wild Card race.

I wasn't planning to write about this.  Far from it.  How often do holds creep up in daily conversation anyway?   Last time I tried to bring it up with a friend he began to tell me a bad beat story involving trip queens. 

Anyways, I can't think of a more useless stat.  Rather, I can't think of a worse measure of effectiveness.  While toiling through the Giants/Padres box score yesterday (Giants won 8-4), I noticed starter Matt Cain dealt a 1-hit shutout.  His stellar performance made me wonder how the Padres had managed to score 4 runs. 

Looking a bit further down the box score, I see reliever Kevin Correia came in after Cain and proceeded to tarnish the shutout, surrendering 3 runs in three and a third brilliant innings.  Much more disgusting than Correia's 8.10 ERA for the game was the fact that he was rewarded with his 4th hold of the year for the bang-up job. 

That got me thinking (which is a positive step to begin with).  Why are we rewarding pitching performances that would make Russ Ortiz look good?  Isn't there an obvious fundamental flaw at work here?  According to a statistics glossary holds are "Earned when a relief pitcher enters a game in a save situation records at least one out, and leaves the game without having given up the lead."  Well, there are three different situations that create a save situation.  Horribla's outing qualified because he pitched "three or more innings with a lead" and was credited as such by the official scorer. 

This raises the subtle question- just exactly who was the official scorer?  Helen Keller?  Stevie Wonder?  Orlando Brown?  At what point will it take more than just my genius eye to realize how bogus the criteria is for the hold statistic?  At what point will the stat be either adjusted or abolished?

My vote is for abolishment.  Who needs a stat for middle relievers?  Besides, you know it was just a ploy by agents to give their clients a way to be measured when it came to salary negotiations.  Couldn't you just picture Scott Boras or someone in there, "My client Brandon Medders was tied for 16th in baseball in holds last year.  We want a salary escalator to a base of $410,000 in '07 if he passes 20 holds next year.  And a $34,000 bonus is due should he pass 23 holds in '08."  Holds for middle relievers, what a joke. 

The thought is equally sickening and pathetic.  As if I really need something else cluttering my internet box score.

Now I know why I never made it as a player.  Now I know why I just barely made it past coach pitch for local pizza joint Numero Uno's Yankees.  Now I understand why my skills were better served running the scoreboard than the bases. 

For us anonymous fans who were not gifted with the superb athletic skill, hulking size, or overall pedigree to become a top athlete in professional sports, making our mark on the blogs was the pinnacle we could reach. 

After all, there's one quality that all under-sized, less-than-talented, Average Joe hacks have that we don't.  You've heard it a thousand times.  We've all been told it a thousand times.  For the love of Mel Kiper Jr., it's said on draft day 2,682 times!  These athletes of lesser skill have the "it."  They have the "intangible" that the English language has failed to identify.

Alas, after twenty-two years of rigorous research, interviews with scouts, GMs, coaches, and both former and current players, I proudly announce that Webster's owes me a page in their newest edition. I have developed a new term to describe this so-called "intangible."   

These lesser talent breeds have something the rest of us don't have.  You know what it is?  Do you really want to know?  Should I let you in on the secret that has taken me so long to unearth?

Well, the answer is, these less-skilled players are crazy!!!  They are certifiably insane!  That's why they make it and we don't!  That's why the more naturally talented Garret Anderson's and Bobby Abreu's watch balls drop that would have put them in danger of running into fences and getting injured, while their teammates like the Darin Erstad's and Aaron Rowand's crash into walls and resultantly stumble into the trainer's room. 

It's why 5'10" 179lb journeyman Ryan Freel has made it to the majors and remains a player at the highest level of the game, while I'm sitting at home writing about him.  Ryan Freel, Cincinnati Reds utility man, who I respect completely for his ability to make it to the majors and play with undoubted heart and effort and become a fan favorite, is insane.  Just check out this article written by Hal McCoy about Freel. 

The article quotes Freel as having said that the "little midget who lives in [his] head and who talks to [him]" thought he made a "great catch."  In Tuesday's 10-3 win for the Reds over the Cardinals, Freel made a stupendous diving catch on an Albert Pujols drive that helped the Reds maintain a 5th inning lead.  It wasn't the offensive outburst nor the impressive win over the 1st place team in the division that claimed the post-game talk.  Rather, it was the catch. 

You see, it's this trait, the way he talks to himself- to the little midget in his head, and the way he crashes into walls, plays with scabs, scrapes, and sprains, that makes him special.  It's his insanity, his craziness that keeps him in the majors.  It is the Jiminy Cricket inside him that I love and that makes him great. 

It is why Ryan Freel is in the majors pounding into walls, and I'm sitting here pounding my keyboard.  I wish I were as crazy as he.  

For my money, it doesn't get better than Albert Belle when it comes to being a sports fan.   On Wednesday, July 26th, 2006, Albert Belle pleaded guilty to stalking a woman he used to pay for pleasuring him sexually. 

I cannot get enough of this guy.  There have been plenty of talented athletes throughout time.  There have also been plenty of dumb jocks in recent memory.  What then is it, that makes Albert Belle so special?

July 1994, Belle, with a godly +1.100 OPS, was caught with a corked bat and suspended 10 games.  Of course Jason Grimsley went Walter Sobchack and climbed through the air vent to try and switch the corked bat for a ringer.  Belle ultimately got 7 games for the incident.  What's the matter, hitting homers to the 10th row isn't as good as whacking them to the 11th row?

October 1995, Belle gets fined 50 large for chasing reporter Hannah Storm from the dugout.  Dude, media coverage is part of the game, live with it. 

Late October 1995, Belle tries to runover some kids who egged his house on Halloween.  You live in America bro, this happens every year.   

April 1996, Belle chucks a ball at a photographer trying to take a pregame photo of him, luckily Belle's accuracy wasn't great. 

May 1996, Belle takes his sexual frustration out on little Fernando Vina of the Brewers, the lone player who appeared not to be juicing during the 90s, when he rams into him on a double play ball.  Belle was suspended 3 games for the incident.  Pick on the little guy why don't ya. 

1997, first year in Chicago, busts up a thermostat in the locker room because teammates were adjusting the temperature (roid rage anyone?).  He also admits to gambling on sports, and cusses out a reporter by the batting cage.  What'd he walk up to you and ask you to take a urine test?

1998, same day he's named AL player of the week, he's arrested for domestic battery.

February 2006, Belle told not to have any contact with former ex-girlfriend, call-girl, etc., who'm he had stalked.  Joey tracked her with a GPS device and frequently called her and would hang up immediately afterwards. 

July 2006, Belle pleads guilty to stalking charges.  Belle will spend a minimum of 90 days in jail for violating the terms of his bond. 

Athletes are multi-millionaire celebrities these days.  Who of them actually plead guilty to any charged crimes?  Who of them don't put together excellent legal defense teams to keep them out of jail?  Apparently multi-million dollar Joey can't figure it out.  And of course that is the very reason why I love Joey Belle. 

It would take an act of science to engineer another Albert Belle.  Afterall, he was what, about 3 parts Manny, 2 parts T.O., 4 parts Dennis Rodman, 1 part Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, 2 parts Wilton Guerrero,  4 parts Randy Moss, 2 parts Pete Rose, and 3 parts Barry Bonds. 

Quite an incredible specimen Albert Belle, pray tell there will never be another athlete quite like you.

The Rangers went out and traded for All-Star outfielder Carlos Lee on Friday, just a few days before the trade deadline.  One question: why? 

What is the point of this deal for Texas?  You're getting rid of Francisco Cordero who at this point is somewhat expendable considering the fact that he blew a ML record 5 saves in April en route to losing the closing job to Akinori Otsuka.  But in reality, this is a guy who for the better span of 3 years was a quality  closer for Texas.  Opposing hitters only batted around .230 against him.  Cordero is still a hard-thrower averaging more than 9K/9 pitching in an extremely tough league where it's not easy to close.  It was just a bad start to the season for Cordero; he's yielded 5 home runs on the year, as much as he did in '03 and '04 combined!  Why not just chalk this up as an unfortunately poor year and let him work his way out of it in '07?  What, you're really going to tell me Ron Mahay and John Wasdin are better options? 

The Rangers also traded away Kevin Mench, who is more than a quality corner outfielder who can step in and replace Lee.  Granted, Mench doesn't have Lee's consistency, but he has displayed Lee's type of power.  You remember the 7 game stretch in April where Mench was seen circling the bases day after day, and no, not during batting practice?   Mench is still just 28, and really has only played 1 full season in the bigs.  He has never really been given a consistent chance to play full-time with the Rangers.  He has always been platooned, hurt, or in bad favor with the manager.  Completely mistreated by the Rangers, Mench will become a 30 home run hitter with the Brewers.

So already, between giving up Cordero and Mench, the Rangers are trading away 2 quality major leaguers to get Carlos Lee.  Now, onto the worst part.  If Lee rejected a 4 year 48 million dollar offer by the Brewers, what do the Rangers expect him to sign for in the off-season?  Quite obviously it's going to take more than $12 million/year, and possibly more than 4 years to get him locked up.  It's a stretch for me to believe Carlos Lee is worth $12 million in '07, let alone '10.  There's not a chance I'm throwing him 14 or 15 mil per year.  Can you really disagree with me here?  So now that we've established that Lee is barely worth a 4 year/$48 million contract, and certainly unworthy of anything more, we must ask what sense does it make to trade away a few players to put yourself in position to overpay Carlos Lee for 5 years in the future?  This obviously doesn't make sense.  If you weren't planning on signing either Mench or Cordero in the future and were looking to dump them, then I'm certain you could have fetched much more useful players on the trade market in exchange.

What do the pitching starved, bullpen lacking Rangers need Carlos Lee for?  If you're going to break off some valuable parts, make sure you're getting back value that will help your team in return (pitching!) and not helping an area you're already strong in.