I broke out a crisp $50 for extra close seats to the Dodgers/Marlins game last night.  Scoreless through six and a half innings; Ben Stein thought it was boring.  

Ordinarily, you'd find it hard to make a complaint about a team that sets a record by winning 17 of 18 games for the first time in franchise history (which the Dodgers did by winning 4-0), but it really wasn't.  I'm not sure how often you listen to my programs or read my writing, but I think I've made myself abundantly clear in the past that I hate the National League. 

It's not even the fact that the American League is the only place to which you can turn for quality baseball in '06; it's the fact that I attended enough middle school dances to know what it's like to sit around apathetically waiting for someone to finally score.

Seriously.  Let's begin with the top of the 6th inning- scoreless ballgame of course.  The Marlins get consecutive base hits from the unlikely sources of Miguel Olivo and Alfredo Amezaga.  Enter Anibal Sanchez, starting pitcher.  Toting a hefty .062 batting average, Anibal fouled off three sac bunt attempts, making him the 1st out of the inning.  Hanley Ramirez followed with a fly out that allowed Olivo to tag from 2nd to 3rd.  Uggla rounded out the electrifying inning with a punch-out stranding two men, maintaining the titillating Crying Game. 

Having any normal hitter up in the 9th spot would not have equated to the decision of an automatic sac bunt, let alone three failed attempts to lay one down.  Not to say that all position players have perfect success rates at dropping bunts, but hoping for a pitcher to sac one is like laying money on the Browns to win the Super Bowl- you're better off giving the money to the lady in the window and asking her to kick you in the balls, it gets the excruciatingly painful experience over with much quicker.

Bottom line, who wants to see these clowns attempt to tap a ball past the infield three or four times a game?  Pitchers have one reason for existing and one reason only- to pitch.  There's a reason there's a bullpen of seclusion, a hot tub, and ice cream in the clubhouse.  It's because a third of the team isn't qualified to participate in all aspects of the game and they need diversions.

The American League has it nailed.  They've figured it out.  They know I'm not thrilled about sitting through nothing-nothing games, hoping the Bears will win.

 Listen up National League officials, get an extra batter out there, move the catcher to the nine-hole, and let's eliminate that omnipresent automatic out.  Trust me; the game will be a lot more exciting to watch.