It has been a roller coaster 12 months for pretty-boy David Beckham. After being cut from the English National squad last August he was also benched by his Spanish club Madrid, who had discovered that he was much easier to film for the jumbo-tron when seated. "It was a real low point for me," Beckham remembers, "I had completely disappeared from the gossip mags, I had to pay the paparazzi to take pictures of me. Honestly, I was on the verge of posting a homemade porn on the internet." But then, hours before filming could begin, Beckham got a call from a very unlikely place, America. It was his agent with an offer from MLS's LA Galaxy. "I didn't even know that they played football in America, well my kind of football I mean. And then when I found out how much money they wanted to offer me, fuck." The LA Galaxy have agreed to pay Beckham a minimum of 10 million US dollars a season for the next five years along with a share in the profits, which could put his total yearly take home in the ballpark of 50 million dollars. "Honestly when I heard the number I almost soiled my knickers. That minimum is about double what I signed for last time, and last time I was in my prime." Beckham admits. "I asked my agent if the knew that I was thirty-two, couldn't kick with my left foot, and that my career was practically finished. And he said, 'What the hell do they know about football? They're Americans.'"

Europe's prettiest footballer David Beckham has signed a deal with the LA Galaxy which make make him richer than Britain's other Queen

Beckham hopes that his commitment to the LA Galaxy won't get in the way of the other things he wants to accomplish in America. "I would really love to do some film. I can't act, but neither can Shaq, that bloke made at least three movies and doesn't look like this. I'm also considering getting into music, I have no talent for that either, but it seems like a good way to turn a quick buck. It probably won't be any good, but people are going to buy it anyway, right?"

One thing Beckham won't be doing is hanging out with Tom Cruise. "I am really a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I don't follow US news. I was under the impression that Tom Cruise was a big star in the US, and didn't realize that he'd become a joke. Anyway, brand Beckham has no room for dead weight, so Tom is going to have to go."

There is one person who become would really like to meet when he arrives in the US. "Tony Parker. Honestly, we have so much in common. We are both from Europe, we both married women who are almost as pretty as us, and we enjoy lots of the same things, like shopping, musicals, fashion, and poetry."

Tony Parker and David Beckham reportedly have "a lot in common."

 Since signing on with Galaxy Beckham has returned to the field for both England and Real Madrid.  As for the recent rumor that Beckham might opt out of his Galaxy contract and remain with Real Madrid, it is just that a rumor. "In a way it would be nice to remain in Europe and show that I can compete with football's elite, but really why would I do that when I can make so much more money in the US and put out a fraction of the effort?"