In an unprecedented move, Lakers owner Jerry Buss made the trades this week to secure the Indiana Pacers former 'one-two punch': Ron Artest, and Jermaine O'Neal. 

The Lakers are also currently in talks with semi-retired guard Latrell Sprewell, formerly of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Sprewell is best remembered for choking former coach P.J. Carlesimo and later being accused of choking a woman on his boat. When called for comment on the possibility of joining the Lakers Sprewell replied, "It would be great to finally play with some guys who have the same type of character as me."

Analysts agree that the teaming of Byrant, Artest, O'Neil and Sprewell would be a scary thing to see.  TNT commentator and former NBA player Charles Barkley summed it up best, "Those guys, together?  Who is going to play center?  OJ?"

In another shocking development, Laker Coach Phil Jackson was released from his contract and is reportedly going to be replaced by Robert Blake. Buss reportedly said that he wants to take the Lakers in a new direction. "Coach Jackson has been a fine upstanding member of our organization, but we have decided to take the team in a new direction. In this new direction there is no room for a Zen master, we need Berretta."

The Lakers are also considering changing their team colors from the traditional yellow and purple to horizontal black and white stripes. "For the home jerseys only," Buss said, "For away I was thinking about orange jumpsuits."

In related news Lakers forward Luke Walton has been told that if he doesn't want to ride the bench he needs to toughen up his image. "I'll probably start with a tattoo and maybe an eye-patch," Walton told reporters. "If all else fails I can always go out and beat up a hooker."