It can make you laugh. It can make you cry. It often instills religious beliefs on you, whether you like it or not. It also attempts to persuade you to vote for someone. On a piece of paper (with adhesive on one side), it's presented to us as we sit in our cars, whether being stuck in traffic, or sitting at a stop light. That's right, it's the American bumper sticker, quite often tacky, yet still plastered on millions and millions of cars across the country.

If you were a star in the world of sports, what kind of bumper sticker would you place on the back of your car? Sure, in many cases, I imagine a number of sports icons wouldn't have any, or in some cases, these individuals may just fly via private plane. Let's put all those thoughts aside, and instead, I'm going to reveal my list of what I envision a number of various sports figures would (or should) feature on the back of their respective automobiles. And here they are...

Bumper Stickers Found on the Cars of Sports Figures

Bill Belichick - Head Coach - New England Patriots
I'd Rather Be Cheating

Rick Ankiel - Outfielder - St. Louis Cardinals
Everything I Know, I Learned from My Pharmacist

Melvin Mora - Third Basemen - Baltimore Orioles
Too Many Babies on Board

Tim Floyd - Head Coach - USC Basketball
Baby on Board is Also a Recruit

Charlie Weis - Head Coach - Notre Dame Football
Smorgasbord on Board

Jimmy Clausen - Quarterback - Notre Dame Football
Can't Stretch a Defense? Drive a Stretch Hummer

Demetrius Jones - Former Notre Dame Quarterback (transferred to Northern Illinois)
Charlie Weis Ate My Jesus Fish

Eric Mangini - Head Coach - New York Jets
Belichick Stole My Turn Signal

Tony LaRussa - Manager - St. Louis Cardinals
Don't Sleep and Drive

Chad Henne - Quarterback - Michigan Wolverines
My Other "Carr" is an Underachieving Head Coach

Dontrelle Willis - Starting Pitcher - Florida Marlins
My Other Car is a Port-O-Let

Maurice Clarett - Former College and NFL Running Back
"My Other Auto is a 9mm"

O.J. Simpson - Former College and NFL Player
- My Other Car is a White Bronco
- What Happens in Vegas, Doesn't Always Stay in Vegas

Tom Brady - Quarterback - New England Patriots
Honk if You've Dated Models

Pete Rose - Former Baseball Player and Manager
Honk if You've Bet on Sports

Pacman Jones - Defensive Back - Tennessee Titans
I Brake for Strippers

Martha Fleishman - Pittsburgh Resident - Drove car that hit motorcycle
I Try to Brake for Ben Roethlisberger

Stephen Jackson - Shooting Guard - Golden State Warriors (previously Indiana Pacers)
got bullets?

Travis Henry - Running Back - Denver Broncos
got condoms?

Michael Jordan - Retired NBA Star - Chicago Bulls and Washington Wizards
A Bad Day on the Basketball Court is Better than a Good Day on the Baseball Field

Vince Young - Quarterback - Tennessee Titans
Who's Madden?

Greg Oden - Center - Portland Trail Blazers
Who's Sam Bowie?

Mark Cuban - Owner - Dallas Mavericks (Hopeful owner of Chicago Cubs)
Cubs Owner's Box or Bust

Reggie Bush - Running Back - New Orleans Saints (Former USC Player)
"Aren't All Gifts Free?"

Bob Stoops - Head Coach - Oklahoma Football
My Least Favorite Monument is the Statue of Liberty

David Beckham - Soccer Player - Los Angeles Galaxy
Benchwarming is my Passion, My Other Hobby is Soccer

Todd Marinovich - Former College and NFL Quarterback
"I Did Say 'NO' to Drugs, but They Simply Wouldn't Listen"

John Daly - PGA Tour Golfer
"I'm Not as Think as You Drunk I Am"

Michael and Marcus Vick - Brothers and Former Virginia Tech Quarterbacks
"Bad People Travel in Pairs. Bad People Travel in Pairs."

Kobe Bryant - Shooting Guard - Los Angeles Lakers
"I Used to Be Indecisive, Now I'm Not So Sure"

Herm Edwards - Head Coach - Kansas City Chiefs
We're Bad, but We're NOT 'Britney at the VMA's' Bad
 

** Please note the above post is entirely fabricated. If any of the sports icons above actually have any of these bumper stickers on their cars, it was strictly luck for me to call it. Furthermore, to my knowledge, the majority of these bumper stickers do not exist, but they're certainly fitting. The few that I believe do exist, they were just too fitting, and I included them in quotes. **

** Bumper stickers featured in the image above all via bumperart.com **