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    Crap: Brief Observances of the Giants' Face Plant.

    Tuesday, April 3, 2007, 09:31 PM EST [Armando Benitez]

    -That was certainly worth the wait, wasn't it? 

    -Pedro Feliz's every movement, breath, fart or whatever brings A-Rod an inch closer to San Francisco in 2008. 

    -Zito wasn't awful, but walking Jose Cruz, Jr.!?  Anyone but that guy! 

    -Giants fans, stop booing when Barry Bonds gets walked.  To those listeners calling KNBR and saying what a beautiful day it was regardless of the game's outcome, stifle it.  You sound like the people East Coast fans say we are.  Knock it off.

    -Randy Winn = Bust.

    -I am more of #5 hitter than Rich Aurilia.

    -The pregame show MC'd by a tuxedo'd Jon Miller was the best production Giants management has staged in my nearly 35 years of existence.  Sadly, they know how to produce a good song-and-dance act rather than a championship team.  Maybe Magowan should just run "Avenue Q" at A.T.&T. Park nightly and forget baseball.

    -Renel Brooks-Moon isn't Bob Sheppard.  It's great that San Francisco is a progressive city but the voice of a baseball game shouldn't be shrill.  The PA announcer experiment is over.

    -Jeffrey Leonard is the only guy who can take the field at an old timers event with his hat on backwards and pull it off.

    -I am still surprised to see Mike Cameron's head in one piece.

    -Will Clark has gotten to know Krispy Kremes very well during retirement.

    -I'm thrilled that Bonds stole a base.  I'm even more thrilled to see him not attempt a slide at the plate.

    -Mayor Gavin Newsom stayed from the first pitch to the last, perhaps thinking that chicks dig the long ball and civics.

    -Try watching Barry Zito pitch while sitting next to an A's fan.  If you haven't set yourself on fire within 2/3rds of an inning, consider buying a lottery ticket.  An A's fan is the dumped-girlfriend-trying-to-put-on-a-brave-face (and failing) in the Bay Area.

    -Lance Niekro is like the last season of "Family Ties" with all the retrospective episodes:  He grabs a bat.  He strikes out.  Press repeat.

    -Armando Benitez gets to sleep tonight knowing that, for one day, the other relievers sucked more than he does.

    -From Yankee Fan Ken:  "Zito relies too much on his curve.  If it's not working he is average.  It's not working today."  Is there anything more infuriating than a Yankee fan who's right?

    -There's only 161 more to go and they'd better turn it around, like, now.

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