San Diego, California - APP (Associated Pretend Press)

In what insiders are describing as a surprising, yet justifiable, roster move, Fox Sports waived promising young sportswriting prospect joshhoskins55 today, mere weeks after naming him a finalist for the prestigious Next Great Sportswriter award.

The decision sent shock waves through the Hoskins community, where Josh had been regarded as a favorite since posting his first blog article in May to a virtually non-existent audience. His mother, Lori, was contacted by APP for comment, but her response was laced with profanity too heinous to be read by decent, hardworking Americans. His beautiful girlfriend, Kristen, who the APP regards as way too good for him anyway, did have this to say:

"I think Josh deserved to win this contest because he is the best writer ever! I have been trying to get him to mention me in his blog for a long time now. Maybe this decision by Fox will prove to him that he should have written about me a long time ago. Maybe now that he's been knocked back down to Earth he'll take out the trash without me having to ask him all the time."

Hoskins rose from obscurity to prominence on the basis of articles on topics as varied as geeky ex-baseball players and baseless claims that Mel Kiper, Jr. is a robot in disguise. When asked for comment regarding Josh's dismissal, Mel Kiper, Jr., stood behind the decision.

"I think Josh deserved to finish fourth," Kiper said in some type of sophisticated digital code that took the APP eleven hours and a secret decoder ring to break, "his time in the forty at the combine was slower than Sebastian Janikowski's back in 2000, and I find him slightly creepier than Janikowski. That's saying a lot considering Janikowski carries around GHB daily and I'm a robot. Oh crap, did I just say I'm a robot? I meant to say that I'm a highly entertaining NFL Draft analyst."

It seemed several weeks ago that Hoskins was one of the front runners to finish the season as Fox Sports' next contributor. He finished the first round of the finals in the lead, after receiving high praise from the judges. But several disappointing showings in recent weeks put his status as the next great next great sportswriter in question. Some readers believed it was only a matter of time before Hoskins was stripped of the prestigious Wendy's Spicy Chicken logo brandished on the blogs of participating writers. For Hoskins, the absence of that corporate insignia next to his name was a sobering experience.

"One minute I'm wolfing down spicy chicken sandwiches and suffering from brutal chocolate Frosty-induced brain freeze, and the next minute I'm nothing. No spicy chicken. No NGS. Just the lingering effects of indigestion and failure for a blogger who just got blogged in the blog. This sucks man."

Hoskins' agent Randy Raphael, nicknamed "the Fur Coat" because of his matted carpet of salt and pepper chest hair, was also dejected at the news of his client's dismissal.

"Josh is by far my most talented client, and that's saying a lot, 'cuz I represent a midget sword-swallower who actually gets the sword to come out his rear end. You should see it. It's wicked awesome. That takes talent, but this Josh has supreme ability. I mean the guy writes like his fingers are ten rabid chinchillas. He's got it man. But enough about that, would you be interested in hiring an Ecuadorian bear wrestler for your next bachelor party or bah mitzvah? How about a guy with ten rabid chinchilla fingers? Does that interest you? He's free all week for appointments."

What happens with Hoskins' career from this point remains to be seen. While some find him to be a burgeoning genius, others find him to be nothing more than a self-indulgent douchebag. He is now on the waiver wire. If he is not claimed within 15 days, he becomes a free agent and can be hired by any publication. His vast knowledge of bird calls would make him an intriguing option for the staff of Bird Calls Quarterly, while his complete lack of social grace or charm would make him an ideal candidate to write for Maxim. What does appear certain at this point is that Hoskins' affiliation with Fox has been terminated as quickly as it began.

"I have taken down the Sean Hannity picture hanging above my bed and returned the limited edition lithograph of Dogs Playing Poker that was there before," Hoskins said through muffled sobs. "You haven't heard the last of Joshua David Hoskins! Not by a long shot. Unless of course, I'm never able to get a writing job and I die penniless and alone. Then you have heard the last of Joshua David Hoskins!"