I wish ...

... I could get inside Kobe's head and find out the real reason he only took three shots in the second half of a Game 7.  I would look for that answer before I tried to find out what really happened in Colorado.

... we had better nicknames for pro athletes.  The only athletes with good nicknames are streetball players - "Future", "Hot Sauce", "Escalade".  Can't we have the announcers from the Rucker and AndOne Tour be roving P.A. announcers in every major sports arena until every top athlete is appropriately named?  Just a couple of decades ago, we used to have nicknames like Magic and Iceman. Now we have K.G. and T-Mac.  People just don't have the same creativity any more.  Personally, I blame video games.   

... Jalen Rose would retire and become a full-time sideline reporter for TNT.  His interviews have been hysterical, not to mention the moment when Nick Van Exel threw towels on Jalen's head.  Among all-time sideline reporting moments, it's second only to Suzy Koelber and Joe Namath.  Also, Charles has already given Jalen a great nickname, "The Robot".  Because that's what he sounds like when he talks.    

... that the next time Greg Anthony is as visibly annoyed by Stephen A. Smith's histrionics as he was on Saturday, he just kicks Stephen's A. up and down 42nd Street.

... announcers would stop using the word "literally" - they obviously have no idea what it means.  The other day ESPN's Mark Jackson (not the former player) said that Cuttino Mobley was "literally salivating about the opportunities he would have in this game."  Just so everyone is clear, when Cuttino heard the game plan, his body immediately started producing large amounts of saliva.  Every time a broadcaster says something like that, it literally makes my ears bleed.

... that I was friends with Kenny and Charles.  I know it's pathetic to for a grown man to wish he was friends with other grown men, but it's the truth.  And it's not because they're famous, either, because I can honestly say I don't wish I was friends with Tiger Woods or Tom Brady.  And it's not because I don't have any friends, either, because I do.  They're just not as good as Kenny and Charles.

... ESPN would stop giving us updates every 30 minutes on Barry Bonds.  If he ties Babe Ruth, fine, tell us.  But you don't need to break in to show us that Barry can't catch up to a fastball of a pitcher who was in Double-A a year ago. 

... I knew why Bonds' bat speed has slowed down so much.  Hahahahaha.

... someone would tell Nowitzki that when Tony Parker switches on to him, you go to the low block, not float around at the top of the key.  This is the NBA playoffs, not the European league.  

... the networks could hype up the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry a little more.  After all, it's the best rivalry in sports.  And we're already in May.  Seriously, it's really interesting to all of us that aren't Boston or New York fans. 

... I had the option of watching a "silent game", as NBA TV did a month ago.  No announcers, just mics that captured the sound of the players and the crowd.  It was fannnntastic.  I'd use that for every game that Hubie Brown and Doug Collins weren't broadcasting.

... that just once, both Mark Prior and Kerry Wood are healthy for an entire year.  Just once.

... the best of luck to everyone participating in NGS II.  I'm not doing it, but I hear it's a lot of fun.