Cut me some slack if I'm a little incoherent today. I had a bad night's sleep, since my five-year-old daughter appears to have picked up a new hobby - sleepwalking! Can that be a one-time thing? %$#@!

Who's off: Nobody

First pitch: The Pirates and Astros play the first National League game at 2:05 p.m. ET, while the Orioles and Mariners get the AL slate underway at 4:40. Here's the full schedule.

Pitcher to start: I guess Jordan Zimmermann can't win 'em all. We're under .500 again at 49-50.

Tonight we'll double-dip, taking regular choice Max Scherzer (27 percent owned) against the Padres, and Hiroki Kuroda (22.8 percent owned) against the Mets' replacement team.

On to the news:

• Cubs SP Ryan Dempster is on the DL with a broken big toe, which he suffered jumping over the dugout railing