Catching up with the best of the worst from the past week in sports:

(10) Frank Thomas: "The Big Hurt" turned into "The Big Hurt Feelings," and I don't understand why. Baseball is both a game and a business, and the Blue Jays had reason to be concerned about Thomas, who isn't the same man who hit .300 in 11 of his first 12 seasons. Thomas is off to a slow start (not unusual for him), so he had no justification to complain about being benched Saturday and then abruptly released. Yeah, maybe the Blue Jays were pinching pennies by trying to keep a $10 million option for 2009 from kicking in, but I'll fault management for cutting loose a full-time DH the minute players start returning half their salary because they feel guilty for only hitting .231 the previous season.

(9) Ottawa Senators: Wow, was that Bryan Murray or Bill Murray presiding over a collapse so massive that I tried looking up the ticker symbol because I assumed it was one more bad stock in my portfolio? The skates fell off after a 15-2 start and led to Murray axing coach John Paddock. But things never improved once Murray returned to the bench, and the Penguins' sweep of the first-round playoff series surprised no one. Now, goalie Ray Emery has been designated persona non grata, and a couple of very expensive contracts - seven years and $49 million to Jason Spezza, six years and $45 million to Dany Heatley - are about to kick in. Don't send your laundry out in Ocober, Bryan, because you may not be around long enough to pick it up if the Sens get off to a slow start.

(8) NFL payback: Buffalo Bills owner Ralph Wilson was outspoken as one of only two NFL owners to oppose the most recent collective bargaining agreement with the players union, arguing that it would harm small-market franchises. In a bid to keep up with his brethren, Wilson is moving one home game a year to Toronto, where he can pocket a few extra bucks. So how did the league accommodate him in 2008? They scheduled the Bills' game against Miami for Toronto, even though the Dolphins' last 22 games in Orchard Park have all attracted 71,000 or more fans. The Toronto appearance would sell out even the Bills took on a high school team (more about the 49ers in a future blog . . . ), so this reeks of payback.

(7) Shaq: Sorry, big fella, but 11 points and five boards in 30 minutes of a double-OT loss to San Antonio in the postseason opener isn't what the Suns were looking for when they rescued you from Miami for the stretch run.

(6) Carmelo Anthony: The good news is that the Denver Nuggets star went as far as he could with his apology considering he still has a court case with which to contend. The bad news is that Anthony gets himself into entirely too many jams, the latest of which was an arrest for suspicion of DUI early last Monday morning. There was the 15-game suspension for throwing a half-hearted punch last season, a speeding ticket in February, the possession of marijuana charge - dropped when one of 'Melo's friends stepped up to take the (bong) hit - a few years back and the infamous appearance in a 2004 video that included a message that bad things will happen to people who snitch on drug dealers. Individually, the incidents don't amount to much. Collectively, it's an unsettling pattern for a 23-year-old superstar.

(5) Trivial baseball controversies: So what if Miguel Tejada is two years older than previously disclosed? Baseball executives have long considered it a given that Latin players, eager to escape poverty, fudge their age by two or three years to land a contract. Besides Tejada has bigger problems, namely the Justice Department probe into whether he fudged answers during the Congressional steroids investigation. The other non-controversy of the week was veteran Cincinnati broadcaster Marty Brennaman saying some Cubs fans are obnoxious. The 85 percent of Chicagoans that Lee Elia infamously blasted many years ago regard "obnoxious" as a compliment.

(4) Mark Kolbusz: The Chicago souvenir stand operator was hawking Kosuke Fukudome T-shirts that found multiple ways to offend, ranging from a Cubs cartoon bear face redrawn with slanted eyes to the words "Horry Kow!" scrawled in oriental-style script. And for good measure, the shirts were adorned with trademarked Cubs logos without the team's approval. Here's hoping fans avoid patronizing his trailer on Addison with the same dogged determination with which the Cubs have avoided world championships over the last century.

(3) Don Nelson: Based on reputation, I'm pretty sure Baron Davis actually did do something bad to tick off the Don. But I'm also pretty skeptical that it could have been so bad as to warrant benching the team's leader in scoring, assists, steals and assists-to-turnover ratio for the second half of a critical game at Phoenix. No, this was about Nelson trying to prove something, and all he proved is that he's not the guy I want making decisions on anything more important that what flavor of Gatorade to serve on the sidelines of playoff games. Oh, wait, the Warriors aren't in the playoffs.

(2) Mock drafts: Do a search on Google for "mock draft" and the query returns more than 2,790,000 results. Do a similar search for "so boring" and you get 2,750,000 results. Does anyone else see the connection? I'm a huge football fan, plan to watch a couple of hours of the draft this weekend and have even taken the time to look up a little info on a couple of defensive backs that might help my beloved New York Giants. But I'm otherwise too normal to care what Billy Fanboy predicts the Jags will do with the 26th pick of the first round based on four seconds of videotape of a Purdue linebacker he saw on cable two hours ago.

(1) C.C. Sabathia: The chunky Cleveland Indians pitcher is costing himself Carl Sagan-like money by beginning his walk year with three awful performances. Opposing batters have belted out more hits (26) in 12 2/3 innings than the Beatles amassed in six years, and his 0-3 record and 15.64 ERA in the aftermath of a Cy Young Award season constitute the most backward victory lap in sports since Alan Kulwicki last drove the No. 7 Hooters car.

 

Wade Boggs had plenty of multi-hit games in his baseball career, but he wasn't exactly bragging about his four-hit night on April 18, 1981. That's because he went just 4-for-12 for the Pawtucket Red Sox at McCoy Stadium in Part I of professional baseball's longest game ever, a 33-inning affair against the Rochester Red Wings.

It could have been worse for Boggs; he could have been Rochester's Dallas Williams, who took an 0-for-13 at the plate. The teams played 32 innings, deep into Easter Sunday morning before the game was suspended at shortly after 4 a.m. with 19 fans remaining in the stands.

Boggs actually extended the game by driving in the tying run in the 21st inning. "A lot of people were saying , 'Yeah, yeah, we tied it, we tied it.' And then they said, 'Oh, no. What did you do? We could have gone home,'" Boggs said later. The game resumed on June 23 in the national spotlight (the major-league season had been interrupted by a strike), and Dave Koza knocked in Marty Barrett in the bottom of the 33rd for a 3-2 win.

A few other highlights from this week in sports history:

April 16, 1929: Future Hall of Famer Earl Averill of the Indians homers in his first major-league at-bat.

April 16, 1940: Bob Feller of the Indians no-hits the White Sox on Opening Day for a 1-0 victory. April 16 is also a no-hitter anniversary for Burt Hooton of the Cubs (1972) and Bob Forsch of the Cardinals (1978).

April 16, 1959: Dave Philley of the Phillies sets a major-league record with his ninth straight pinch hit.

April 16, 1983: Steve Garvey sets the National League record by playing in his 1,118th consecutive game.

April 16, 1987: Michael Jordan becomes the second NBA player to score 3,000 points in a season.

April 17, 1869: The Cincinnati Reds win the first pro baseball game, 24-15, over a local amateur team.

April 17, 1920: The American Professional Football Association, which would evolve into the NFL, is formed.

April 17, 1939: Joe Louis scores his third straight first-round knockout in a title defense, beating Jack Roper.

April 17, 1953: Mickey Mantle hits a 565-foot home run at Griffith Stadium in Washington, D.C.

April 17, 1976: Mike Schmidt hits four home runs and the Phillies rally from a 12-1 deficit to beat the Cubs, 18-16.

April 17, 1997: Martin Brodeur of the Devils becomes the second NHL goalie to score in a playoff game.

April 18, 1945: One-armed outfielder Pete Gray makes his major-league debut for the Cleveland Browns.

April 18, 1964: The Dodgers' Sandy Koufax strikes out the side on nine pitches.

April 18, 1966: Bill Russell makes his coaching debut with the Boston Celtics.

April 18, 1987: Mike Schmidt hits his 500th career home run.

April 18, 1995: Joe Montana announces his retirement from the NFL.

April 18, 1897: John McDermott wins the first Boston Marathon in 2:55:10.

April 19, 1965: The Houston Astrodome's roof is painted because of sun's glare; it causes the grass to die.

April 19, 1979: The Yankees' Goose Gossage and Cliff Johnson brawl after a 6-3 loss to the Orioles.

April 19, 1986: Larry Holmes loses a disputed decision in his rematch with Michael Spinks, sending the former champ into retirement for 20 months.

April 19, 1992: Detroit's Dennis Rodman wins the NBA rebounding title with an average of 18.7 per game, the highest since Wilt Chamberlain 20 seasons earlier.

April 19, 1996: The Texas Rangers score 16 runs in the eighth inning and beat the Baltimore Orioles, 26-7.

April 20, 1944: The NFL legalizes coaching from the sideline.

April 20, 1949: Jockey Bill Shoemaker wins his first race.

April 20, 1982: The Atlanta Braves run their season-opening win streak to 12 games.

April 20, 1986: Michael Jordan scores 63 points but the Bulls lose to the Celtics in two OTs, 135-131.

April 20, 1988: The Baltimore Orioles open with their 14th straight loss, the majors' worst start ever.

April 20, 1988: Dave Winfield hits the 10,000th home run in Yankees history.

April 20, 1991: The Toronto Argonauts sign Rocket Ismail to a $26.2 million contarct.

April 21, 1904: Ty Cobb makes his pro debut for Augusta of the South Atlantic League.

April 21, 1977: Billy Martin pulls the Yankees' lineup out of a hat and New York beats Toronto, 8-6.

April 21, 1980: Rosie Ruiz is disqualified after Boston Marathon officials determine she did not run the full race.

April 21, 1991: The Pirates score six runs in the bottom of the 11th after the Cubs had taken a 7-2 lead in the top of the inning.

April 21, 1994: Eddie Murray hits switch-hit home runs for the 11th time in his career, a major-league record.

April 22, 1954: The NBA approves a 24-second shot clock.

April 22, 1970: Tom Seaver strikes out the last 10 Padres of the game to finish the game with 19 K's.

April 22, 1989: Nolan Ryan strikes out Rickey Henderson for his 5,000th K.

Catching up with the best of the worst from the past week in sports:

(10) Brett Favre: I figured I'd get this one out of the way so that the Brett-backers could commence leaving comments suggesting there hasn't been a marriage in my family in three generations. But the fact of the matter is the man is saying things that make it sound as though he wants to play football again despite his teary-eyed retirement announcement last month, It was tedious enough the previous two offseasons waiting on his decisions about whether to return to the Packers. Now it's aggravating to think he might play again and I may have had to sit through all the fawning farewells for nothing.

(9) Detroit Tigers: It's getting late early for the can't-miss team of '08. The Tigers are hitting an anemic .240 and posted a 5.43 ERA during a 2-10 start. Being 5

I know you can throw a question out to three bloggers and they'll respond with four opinions. But I think we can all agree that paperwork can be so very tedious, whether it's writing thank you cards for the wedding gifts, making out the list for Christmas shopping or - this week, especially - filing your taxes.

Having said that, however, it is safe to venture few men on this planet ever came to despise paperwork as much as Roberto De Vicenzo, who lost his shot at a Masters championship April 14, 1968, on a scorecard snafu.

De Vicenzo, respected internationally for his more than 200 victories on the links and a 1989 inductee into the World Golf Hall of Fame, appeared to have tied for first after 72 holes at Augusta in '68. But playing partner Tommy Aaron recorded a par for DeVicenzo rather than the birdie he actually made at No. 17 on Sunday. De Vicenzo didn't catch the mistake when he signed his scorecard and had to take the higher score, handing the victory to Bob Goalby rather than forcing a playoff.

Afterward, De Vicenzo uttered one of the more memorable quotes in golf, where the attire tends to be more colorful than the chatter: "What a stupid I am."

A few other highlights from this week in sports history:

April 9, 1912: The Red Sox play an exhibition against Harvard to open up Fenway Park.

April 9, 1947: Baseball suspends Brooklyn Dodgers manager Leo Durocher for associating with known gamblers.

April 9, 1962: Arnold Palmer wins his third of four Masters titles, beating Gary Player and Dow Finsterwald in an 18-hole playoff.

April 9, 1965: Mickey Mantle hits the first indoor home run, going deep in an exhibition at the Astrodome in Houston.

April 9, 1974: A fed-up Padres owner Ray Kroc tells fans, "Ladies and gentlemen, I suffer with you. I've never seen such stupid baseball playing in my life."

April 9, 1978: Denver's David Thompson scores 73 points, an NBA record for a guard, in a 139-137 loss at Detroit, but George Gervin of San Antonio scores 63 points later that night to yank the season scoring title away.

April 9, 1989: Scott Hoch's missed putt from 18 inches costs him the Masters championship.

April 9, 1990: The Phoenix Suns go 61-for-80 from the free-throw line and beat Utah in overtime, 119-115.

April 10, 1913: Walter Johnson begins his 56-inning shutout streak,

April 10, 1949: Slammin' Sammy Snead wins the first of his three Masters championships.

April 10, 1979: J.R. Richard of the Houston Astros throws six wild pitches in a game.

April 10, 1982: The Los Angeles Kings rally from a 5-0 deficit and beat Edmonton in an overtime game, 6-5.

April 10, 1999: The Miami Heat beat Chicago, 82-49, as the Bulls set the NBA futility mark for the shot-clock era.

April 11, 1948: Club pro Claude Harmon (father of modern-day swing guru Butch Harmon) wins The Masters.

April 11, 1963: Warren Spahn becomes baseball's winningest left-hander.

April 11, 1967: The Philadelphia 76ers eliminate the eight-time defending NBA Boston Celtics from the Eastern Division playoffs.

April 11, 1975: J.P. Parise scores 11 seconds into OT to clinch the playoff series for the New York Islanders and unofficially launch a bitter rivalry with the New York Rangers.

April 11, 1989: The Flyers' Ron Hextall becomes the first goalie to score during an NHL playoff game.

April 11, 1990: Mark Langston and Mike Witt of the Angels combine to no-hit the Mariners.

April 12, 1877: The first catcher's mask is used in a baseball game.

April 12, 1985: The U.S. Olympic Committee endorses a boycott of the Moscow Games.

April 12, 1988: The Baltimore Orioles fire manager Cal Ripken Sr. six games into a season-opening 21-game losing streak and replace him with Frank Robinson..

April 12, 1992: Matt Young throws a no-hitter but loses to the Cleveland Indians, 2-1.

April 12, 2001: The NBA abolishes the rule against zone defenses effective for the 2001-02 season.

April 13, 1926: Walter Johnson throws his seventh opening-day shutout.

April 13, 1962: Stan Musial scores his 1,869th run to break the National League record.

April 13, 1972: The first strike by major-league players ends after 13 days.

April 13, 1978: Reggie Jackson homers, triggering a shower of candy bars handed out as a promotion at Yankee Stadium.

April 13, 1984: Pete Rose collects his 4,000th career hit.

April 13, 1986: A 46-year-old Jack Nicklaus wins The Masters.

April 13, 1997: Tiger Woods wins his first Masters title, by 12 shots over Tom Kite. April 13, 1997: The NHL's Whalers play their final game in Hartford.

April 14, 1915: Herb Pennock of the A's comes within one out of throwing baseball's first opening-day no-hitter.

April 14, 1946: Mel Ott hits his 511th and final home run.

April 14, 1962: Elgin Baylor of the Lakers scores 61 points in a 126-121 playoff victory against Boston.

April 14, 1969: The Montreal Expos host the first major-league baseball game played outside the United States.

April 14, 1994: Ten Sonics score in double figures as Seattle defeats the Los Angeles Clippers, 150-101.

April 14, 1996: The Detroit Red Wings set an NHL record with their 62nd victory of the season.

April 15, 1909: New York Giants pitched Red Ames throws nine no-hit innings but loses in 13 innings to the Dodgers.

April 15, 1910: William Howard Taft becomes the first president to throw out a ceremonial first pitch.

April 15, 1947: Jackie Robinson goes hitless in his major-league debut for te Dodgers.

April 15, 1965: John Havicek's steal of Hal Greer's inbounds pass with five seconds left clinches the Celtics' 110-109 win over Philadelphia in Game 7 of the NBA Eastern Conference finals.

April 15, 1968: The Houston Astros beat the New York Mets in 24 innings, 1-0.

April 15, 1989: Ninety-five English soccer fans are crushed to death at Sheffield's stadium.

April 15, 1997: Baseball honors Jackie Robinson by retiring No. 42 for all teams.

 

Catching up with the best of the worst from the past week in sports:

(10) Larry Bowa: When the Dodgers third-base coach would not stay in the box last week, it was left to umpire Ed Montague to play the role of Bowa Constrictor. Bowa didn't take kindly, and Los Angeles soon witnessed its biggest explosion since John McClane and Hans Gruber went mano-a-mano at Nakatomi Plaza. Bowa is a notorious hothead, and Montague was undoubtedly referencing the coach rather than the incident when he called it "probably one of the dumbest" ejections he's been a part of as an umpire.

(9) Chris Henry: If the now ex-Bengal had worked as hard at becoming a better football player as he did on climbing to the top of the list of the team's miscreants depth chart - no easy accomplishment in a city in which the police department keeps Bengals yearbooks on the shelf next to perps' mug shots - he'd be posing for his bust in Canton by now. Instead, he's suffered the ignominy of being released from jail and the NFL within 24 hours of each other. The latest charges are assault and criminal damaging after a man accused Henry of punching him in the face "Oh, no, Henry" has been arrested five times in 28 months; I think bail bondsmen now call him at 2 a.m. seven days a week to see if their services are needed.

(8) Major League Baseball: Hey guys, how can you tell that your sport is broken? Howza 'bout when an entire team is scheduled to make less money that one player? This isn't a rip job on A-Rod - he'll make the Bottom 10 twice this season (three times if he actually has to bat in the month of October) anyway on his own (dis)merit - but rather the Marlins and MLB. With a payroll of just $21.8 million, the Marlins are scamming the system that allows them to rake in more than that just in network TV money. Do the math and it looks as though ownership is pocketing just about every remaining dollar that comes in through the turnstiles, advertising, local broadcasting rights and the silly brand of socialism known as baseball's revenue-sharing plan.

(7) Barry Zito: The 11-13 record and 4.53 ERA of a year ago were somewhat of a reflection that the San Francisco Giants just weren't as good catching baseball inside the stadium as fans were at retrieving them from McCovey Cove. But this year might be a different matter altogether because Zito is throwing with such poor velocity - he can no longer reach 85 mph - that he's going to get hit harder than the bad guy in a Clint Eastwood movie. If I were in Giants management I'd be horrified by the thought of still owing him $100 million. Zito is why you never give a pitcher a contract with more zeros than can be found on speed dating night sponsored by the economics club at the local junior college.

(6) Larry Brown: He wants another coaching gig, complaining that he's bored. You want to know the only time when Larry Brown is even more bored than he is now? Try 18 months after anyone hires him to coach. The man has had so many college and pro coaching jobs (11 cities in 32 years) that his resume is now available to NBA human resources offices as a two-DVD set.

(5) Moises Alou: It took 4