Welcome to the debut installment of The Bottom 10, which I intend to update weekly. We've launched this list of lovable (and otherwise) underachievers just in time to sneak in a couple of NFL "honorees" before they pack up their lockers and go home to watch the playoffs and Pro Bowl.

(Records are through Saturday)

(10, tie) Los Angeles Kings (13-24-2) - They light fewer lamps these days than Enron.

(10, tie) Canisius College men's basketball (1-10) - George O'Leary recently called John Beilein in Ann Arbor and suggested that he start telling people that the references to having coached at Canisius on his resume were total fabrications.

(9) New York Knicks (8-20) - Quentin Richardson, who has started every game this season, is hitting 32 percent from the field and 52 percent from the line. Amazingly, that still qualifies him as a better shooter than Isiah Thomas is a judge of talent.

(8) Miami Heat (8-23) - Things are going so badly for the Heat, riding a four-game losing streak, that Pat Riley reportedly plans to relinquish his coaching responsibilities in order to spend more time with Stan Van Gundy's family.

(7) Howard women's basketball (0-11) - They've got a loss to Brown (1-9) on their resume. About the only way things can get any worse is if Don Imus starts talking about them on his radio show.

(6) Ralf Schumacher - As if being the black sheep of the family isn't bad enough ("Why can't you be like your brother Michael and make $40 million a year and win seven F1 driving championships and . . . "),Schumacher lost his ride and will apparently miss the upcoming season. Just as well. You try being competitive in a Toyota Camry when Kimi Raikkonen is tooling around road courses in a Ferrari 056 that was developed at a cost of $275 million.

(5) Miami Dolphins (1-14) -- Bill Parcells' first move as VP of football operations will be to change the club's nickname from the Dolphins to the Humidity. South Florida residents will henceforth announce, "It's not the Heat that's so bad, it's the Humidity."

(4) Ball State men's basketball (0-11) - Most people think David Letterman has been in reruns for the last month because of the writers strike. Actually, he took himself off the air so that he didn't have to talk about his alma mater.

(3) American Basketball Association - Thirteen of the 19 games originally scheduled for Friday and Saturday were postponed or cancelled due to teams having suspended operations or gone out of business altogether. League bylaws reportedly prohibit towns named "Defunct" from being awarded franchises because that would be redundant.

(2) Atlanta Falcons (3-12) - Look for an early-January launch of a new advocacy group going by the name PETST: People for the Ethical Treatment of Season-Ticketholders.

(1) Minnesota Timberwolves (4-25) - This mess would have never happened if Kevin McHale was still alive. It's got to be hell to go through a season without the key man in the front office. What? Huh? What do you mean he's alive? Anyway, Boston castoffs Ryan Gomes, Sebastian Telfair and Gerald Green are worse shooters than Dick Cheney.